Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

Yeah, sex is cool, but have you ever taken an afternoon nap on the couch?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just had my biannual teeth cleaning like some barn animal.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I got so lost there for a minute (several years).

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

In an effort to demonstrate how pointless internet debates are, please prove to me that snow is real.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Lost another rap battle by just agreeing with everything the other guy said.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

Being informed is the worst thing I’ve ever done for my mental health.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Haunted house idea: a poorly lit Walmart littered with people you haven’t seen since high school.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

The umbrella was going to be called brella, but the inventor hesitated.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

There’s an app for the people who say they’re not seeking some form of validation here. It’s called a diary.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,639

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

The good news is cannon deaths have gone down dramatically in the last hundred years.

Just shared via Threads:

Dating scene and the job market are the same right now, just stay where you are.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

The Midwest urge to have a drink on a patio as soon as it’s nice out.

Trending via Discord:

Saving on divorce lawyers by staying single.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I can’t wait to open my phone tomorrow and find out what we’re mad about next.

Going viral on Twitch:

Imagine being hungry and some guy tries to teach you to fish.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Making waves on Discord:

Telling my parents they’re like family to me.

Just landed via Reddit:

Home is where you can look ugly and enjoy it.

Home » Funny Number Quotes » Page 4

46 Funny number quotes

More funny number quotes 👇

They should make a drug that recreates the feeling of having your number called earlier than expected.

0

2 months ago

anticipation, call, drug, earlier, feeling, having, humor, number, should, unexpected
Rule number 1 at a concert: Don’t sing while filming!

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2 months ago

concert, etiquette, filming, number, performance, rule, sing
The perfect number of cats is two stupid cats. Preferably siblings. But they can’t both be the same type of stupid. One needs to be stupid (dumb) and one needs to be stupid (annoying).

0

2 months ago

animal, annoying, both, cat, cats, dumb, humor, needs, number, perfect, perfect number, pet, same, sibling, siblings, stupid, type
The Epstein client list but to the tune of Mambo number 5.

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2 months ago

client, Epstein, humor, joke, list, Mambo, music, number, parody, tune
Age is just a number… that now takes a really long time to scroll to.

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2 months ago

age, birthday, humor, just, number, perspective, scroll, scrolling, time
You can count the number of times my wife has agreed with me on one hand, if you don’t have fingers.

0

2 months ago

agree, count, fingers, hand, humor, me, number, times, wife
Does anyone have the number of the witch from Snow White? I need a few apples.

0

2 months ago

apples, fairy, fairy tale, humor, i, joke, need, number, request, snow, Snow White, tale, white, witch
For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

0

2 months ago

busters, culture, ghost, Ghost Busters, humor, least, movie, movie reference, music, nostalgia, number, once, phone, phone number, pop, pop culture, reference, song, think
I wonder what the part of my brain that used to store people’s phone numbers is doing now.

0

2 months ago

brain, distraction, doing, humor, i, memory, nostalgia, number, numbers, phone, phone number, store, technology, used, wonder
Day number 3 without coffee: Lost hearing in my left eye.

0

2 months ago

addiction, coffee, day, eye, hearing, humor, left, lost, number, withdrawal

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Social Media Stars ⭐

79 shares on Messenger this month:

It’s important to fuel your body with essential nutrients, which can be found in cookies, chips, and candy.

52 shares on Slack this month:

The class: “You want us to do what?” Super Mario: “Jump around, catch and eat the giant mushroom, bang your head against the crates and, if necessary, crush all the critters. It’sa easy!”

17 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t like how monkeys have taken ownership of the whole banana thing. I bet I like bananas almost as much as they do.

95 shares on Reddit this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

44 shares on Slack this month:

There’s a Marie Antoinette feeling in the air.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Not my room, not my elephant.

19 shares on Instagram this month:

I don’t want flying cars, I want the ability to start again from my last save point.

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Chuck Norris got shot. The bullet is in critical condition.

76 shares on Twitch this month:

The baddest women come into your life when you have 37 dollars left.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I get sad when I see how old people my age are.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

My anti-theft device in my car is that it’s manual.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

My favorite part of leaving the house is looking forward to going home.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

Writers should get a direct line to the FBI so we can call them and give them a heads up when we’re googling ways to poison someone but just for a story.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has viewed:

Is everyone enjoying their entire month of August off work with full pay? Oh yeah, I forgot, only Congress gets to do that.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

Welcome to the internet, where people are confidently wrong all the time.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

“There’s a particular type of insufferability that rich people from poor countries have, that I don’t yet fully know how to verbalize.”

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

If you’re a guy and you’re struggling right now, just remember nobody cares, and it does get worse.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has downloaded:

My brain cells, skin cells and hair cells continue to die, but my fat cells seem to have an eternal life.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Pharaohs were buried with their hands crossed over their chest because of the belief there would be countless water slides in the after life.

Just landed via WeChat:

Not to brag but I don’t even need alcohol to make really bad decisions.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Seen just now on Slack:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Hiking in your 40s is a great way to meet new people. Today I met two paramedics, three nurses, a cardiologist, and nearly met Jesus.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

It’s been too long since I partook in shenanigans.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Seen just now on Discord:

Croutons feel like an apology. “Sorry we gave you salad. Have some consolation toast.”

Just shared via Instagram:

Pugs look like regular dogs that ran into a door at full speed.

Activity Log ✨

46 Funny number quotes

More funny number quotes 👇

All funny number quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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