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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Watching as gravity slowly unfriends you.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Loving her was my second biggest mistake. Not buying Bitcoins in 2010 still remains the first.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has shared:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Non-alcoholic beer is like a vibrator without batteries: it fills you up nicely but without the buzz…

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Looks fade but dark, twisted, inappropriate humor is forever.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Me: Maybe it’s the weed talking but your apartment seems enormous. IKEA Manager: Sir.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

WW3: I can’t fire my weapon unless I first watch a 15-second unskippable ad for Raid Shadow Legends.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has bookmarked:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Apart from “It’s okay”, what other death threats do women use?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has viewed:

Sometimes the universe puts you in the same situations again to see if you’re still an idiot.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,007

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

Going viral on Messenger:

I’m really getting tired of being a responsible adult.

Shared recently on WeChat:

I’m not calling anyone daddy unless I’m asking for money for the mall.

Trending via Messenger:

I will not accept a hint. I will act dumb until you say it clearly to me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Cover letters are so embarrassing. Why am I writing a love letter to this shitty company?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

iPad PR is so crazy because you think you absolutely need one until you get it.

Making waves on Facebook:

I heard a mouse yesterday. So now I loudly announce myself whenever I enter a dark room. In case you’re wondering how brave I am.

Live now on Messenger:

My hobbies include using the TV as background noise while I scroll on my phone.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Most people who have found themselves are amazed to discover that there is nothing there at all.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’ve already picked out my sweatpants for New Year’s Eve.

28 Funny obsession quotes

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New Funny Quotes
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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

26 shares on WeChat this month:

Mondays have a black belt in psychological warfare.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

If I was a microplastic, I would simply not go in the ocean or anyone’s mouth.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

One day you’ll find someone obsessed with you. It’s probably going to be a squirrel.

95 shares on WhatsApp this month:

11 out of 10 women are always right.

36 shares on X this month:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

21 shares on LinkedIn this month:

God created childbirth so women could know how men feel when we have a cold.

84 shares on X this month:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

Your child learning to say mommy is when your life begins and ends.

95 shares on Messenger this month:

Who wants to do all my adult stuff for me today?

44 shares on Messenger this month:

We need a holiday at the end of every summer that honours all the women who wore sundresses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

9 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re so understanding,” yeah, because I don’t want to go to prison for the rest of my life.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me sad, just hug me and put some money in my pocket.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Her heart is a combination of wildflowers and wildfires, delicate, yet so fierce.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when people stare at me and don’t say anything. I mean, if you want an autograph or a picture just ask.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I be like “communication is the key” then put my phone on do not disturb.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Bob was hungry. He ripped open a new bag of tortillas only to discover a convenient, resealable opening on the other end.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

How many of y’all are “burn a CD” and “lime wire” old?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

629 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,222

Funny Quotes Topics

17,352

Funny Quotes Images

15,222

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,069

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Rap fell off when literacy stopped being a requirement.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has viewed:

Oh, to live in simpler times, when there was nothing to do but sit by the seashore and contemplate the miracle of existence.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the last twelve digits of Pi.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

I get tired from just thinking of everything I have to do.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has downloaded:

Making eye contact with strangers on the sidewalk and saying “it’s crazy that they just let me walk around, haha”.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

Clearly I’m not doing Dry January unless you mean sense of humor.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

I’d log off, but I get so tired of hearing myself talk.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired at bedtime as I am at 2 p.m. on any given day.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Returning to Twitter is like coming back to a dysfunctional family.

Making waves on WeChat:

I don’t argue anymore. I just agree and let the plot unfold.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Are you gonna confess your undying love for me or what, bro?

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I like how people say “manage your depression,” like it’s a stock portfolio, but you’re heavily invested in sadness.

Just shared via Facebook:

Ain’t no girls in my messages, just a bunch of verification codes.

Trending via Twitch:

I get shy when my man stares at me for too long because what if he’s realizing I’m actually a lil ugly.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

If anyone wants a more cost effective energy provider, I can supply endless energy on tap from my absolutely not tired child at bedtime.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

If you give a man a fish, he’ll eat for a day. But if you teach a man to fish, you’ll get the house to yourself on Saturdays.

Seen just now on Messenger:

My retirement plan is time travel to the 80s.

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s so funny that people directly compare Dune and Furiosa when all that they have in common is that there’s sand.

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