172 Funny office quotes

• Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

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  1 week ago

  call, communication, goodnight, humor, meeting, office, office humor, outlook, remote, remote work, Teams, technology, video, video call, virtual, virtual meeting, work, Zoom

• What happened to the huge corporate Christmas parties you see in all the ’90s movies? Seems like that doesn’t exist at all anymore.

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  1 week ago

  90s, 90s movie, Christmas, Christmas party, corporate, corporate party, culture, exist, holiday, holiday party, huge, movie, nostalgia, office, office culture, party, seems

• If you’re late for work, don’t forget to look mad when you walk in.

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  3 weeks ago

  apology, attitude, expression, forget, humor, late, lateness, mad, office, punctuality, walk, work

• “Nah.” – everyone with an office job, from the Monday after Thanksgiving until January 2nd.

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  3 weeks ago

  2nd, after, attitude, blues, everyone, holiday, holiday season, January, January 2nd, job, Monday, office, office job, post-holiday, post-holiday blues, procrastination, season, Thanksgiving, work, work attitude

• I caught two kids smoking pot outside my office. Fifteen minutes later, my boss caught me and two kids smoking pot outside my office.

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  1 month ago

  boss, caught, i, kid, kids, later, me, minutes, office, outside, pot, prank, smoking, smoking pot, workplace

• Handing over my ID at the post office. The clerk said, “You’ve aged quite a bit since this photo was taken.” I said, “Yes, I had it taken just before I joined this queue.”

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  1 month ago

  aging, before, bit, clerk, humor, i, ID, interaction, joke, just, office, over, photo, post, post office, queue, said, taken, yes

• When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

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  1 month ago

  camera, camera zoom, commentary, contact, episode, eye, eye contact, humor, i, marriage, married, office, side, style, The Office, video, video style, want, wedding, wedding video, Zoom

• No HR complaint formed against me shall prosper.

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  1 month ago

  complaint, defense, hr, HR complaint, humor, legal, me, office, workplace

• Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

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  2 months ago

  body, corporate, expensive, feels, fragrance, full, humor, office, perfume, scent, setting, should, under, waste, weight, work

• The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

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  2 months ago

  corporate, dressed, humor, i, insecurity, just, leadership, longer, management, micromanaging, office, realize, work

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