178 Funny office quotes

• On my phone, you’ll never see contacts saved as ‘babe’ or ‘love.’ I save full names—first and last—like a government office.

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  3 minutes ago

  babe, communication, contact, contacts, full, full name, government, government office, humor, i, identity, love, name, never, nickname, office, phone, phone contact, relationship, save, saved, texting

• Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

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  1 hour ago

  adult, adult industry, collar, corporate, corporate office, developer, humor, imagine, industry, job, office, office job, Pornhub, weird, weird job, whatever, white, white collar, working, workplace, workplace humor

• Got sent to HR for calling someone a “jellyfish” — just floating around all day, doing absolutely nothing.

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  3 hours ago

  absolutely, around, calling, day, doing, doing nothing, floating, got, hr, humor, insult, jellyfish, just, nothing, office, office humor, sent, someone, workplace

• I started calling the new guy at work “Grok” because he thinks he knows everything.

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  4 hours ago

  calling, everything, grok, guy, humor, i, know-it-all, knows, new, new guy, nickname, office, started, work

• Actually, no one sees you at your worst like your coworkers do.

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  5 hours ago

  actually, coworker, coworkers, humor, office, relationship, workplace, worst

• My boss was like, “People working from home are just pretending to work,” and it’s like, dude, what do you think I’m doing in the office?

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  6 hours ago

  boss, doing, dude, home, humor, just, office, people, pretending, remote, remote work, think, work, work from home, working, workplace, workplace humor

• I stopped adding “Let me know if you have any more questions!” to my emails because don’t email me again.

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  7 hours ago

  again, communication, email, email etiquette, emails, etiquette, humor, i, know, let, life, me, office, office life, questions, sarcasm, stopped, work, work email

• I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

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  7 hours ago

  colleague, department, difficult, difficult time, humor, just, learned, news, office, planning, retreat, sarcasm, team building, terrible, thank, thoughts, time, work

• My talents include sneaking out of work early on a Friday.

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  10 hours ago

  early, early leave, Friday, humor, leave, life, office, office life, sneaking, sneaking out, talent, work

• Corporate life requires an ass-licking skill set I simply wasn’t born with.

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  10 hours ago

  ass-licking, born, corporate, corporate life, culture, humor, i, life, office, office culture, sarcasm, set, simply, skill, skill set, workplace

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