55 Funny older quotes

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  2 days ago

  View →: Old age is always 15 years older than I am.
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  1 week ago

  View →: “Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.
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  2 weeks ago

  View →: The older I get, the earlier it gets late.
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  3 weeks ago

  View →: Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what the hell happened.
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  1 month ago

  View →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.
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  2 months ago

  View →: I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.
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  3 months ago

  View →: We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.
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  3 months ago

  View →: The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.
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  3 months ago

  View →: No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Kid, I have jeans older than you.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I’ve got midlife crises older than you.
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  4 months ago

  View →: The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.
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  4 months ago

  View →: “Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.
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  4 months ago

  View →: You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”
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  4 months ago

  View →: I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Getting older is sexy. You moan more.
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  4 months ago

  View →: When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?
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  4 months ago

  View →: When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Perhaps the best thing about getting older is that I no longer want to know everything.
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  4 months ago

  View →: As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.
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  4 months ago

  View →: I can’t wait to see my older sister so she can point out I have more gray hair than she does.
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  4 months ago

  View →: A plus of getting older is not having to make as much small talk because half the conversation is spent asking the other person to repeat what they just said.
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  4 months ago

  View →: One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

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