Funny quotes older

50 Funny older quotes

I’m at the age where using the wrong pillow makes you feel like you broke your neck.

2 weeks ago

Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

3 weeks ago

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

1 month ago

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 month ago

The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

1 month ago

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

1 month ago

Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

2 months ago

Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

2 months ago

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

2 months ago

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

3 months ago

I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

3 months ago

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

3 months ago

Some people get weird as they get older. Not me, though. I’ve always been weird.

3 months ago

Unfair that the older I get, the clearer photo quality gets.

3 months ago

“Age is just a number!” Yeah, the older I get, the number I feel.

3 months ago

You know you’re getting older when you keep asking “Why do they have to make the instructions so small?”

3 months ago

I might start telling people I’m 10 years older than I actually am just so they can tell me how great I look for my age.

3 months ago

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

3 months ago

When I was young I fixed my parents’ computer and now that I’m older I fix computers for my kids. Are we the only generation that knows how computers work?

3 months ago

When exactly does wisdom kick in? I feel like I’m just getting older.

3 months ago