Funny quotes once

49 Funny once quotes

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

4 days ago

You only live once and thank God for that.

1 week ago

All this suffering on earth because someone ate an apple once.

2 weeks ago

Once I see a vein on your forehead while we arguing, I’ll let you be.

3 weeks ago

Once I find a dragon, y’all are toast.

2 months ago

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

2 months ago

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

2 months ago

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

3 months ago

Once again, I was not nominated for an Oscar this morning for acting my way through life.

3 months ago

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

3 months ago

I believe it was Aristotle who once said “The fastest way to get your kids to stop screaming is to also start screaming.”

3 months ago

For once, I’d like to spiral into control.

3 months ago

You don’t scare me, I was married once.

3 months ago

College is not even mentioned once in the Bible. Somebody get me outta here.

3 months ago

Met a microbiologist once. They’re a lot bigger than I imagined.

3 months ago

So many spreadsheets and not once did I feel excelled.

3 months ago

Once I shot a man with a paintball gun, just to watch him dye.

3 months ago

I’m still annoyed that you can catch Covid more than once. I can’t explain why, but it feels kind of rude.

3 months ago

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

3 months ago

Once you’ve been single for a long time, you realize how exhausting relationships can be.

3 months ago