Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

As a girl, I should be allowed to speak to the moon directly.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

People my age are doing so much, and I’m just at home reliving the same day over and over again.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has viewed:

As a wife and mother my hobbies include rage cleaning, rage cooking, and rage folding.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

I’m at an age where, when I’m tying my shoes, I think about what else I can do while I’m down here.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has shared:

Shutting up is gluten-free. Maybe add that to your diet, princess.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2426 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,588

Funny Quotes Topics

15,259

Funny Quotes Images

12,588

44 minutes ago

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Threads:

People who say that they don’t have time for my bullshit should wake up an hour earlier.

Freshly posted on X:

What bootlickers fail to understand is that the boot eventually comes for them too.

Going viral on Threads:

Sometimes I’m just so exhausted I have to go to bed and scroll my phone for the next 2-3 hours.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dating for love isn’t working. Now I’m dating to conduct psychological experiments and collect data.

Just shared via Instagram:

My middle finger salutes you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

American Feng Shui is when the grill doesn’t wobble.

Shared recently on Threads:

My recliner and I go way back.

Trending via X:

There will never be a perfect time. Make that mistake now.

Seen just now on Facebook:

The theory that two stacked beds can’t be converted into two regular beds has been debunked.

Home » Funny Once Quotes

75 Funny once quotes

Funny once quotes 😂 are like little nuggets of humor that catch you off guard and leave you chuckling! From unexpected wisdom to silly observations, these one-liners are perfect for brightening your day 🌟. Whether you’re sharing them at a party or scrolling through a dreary Monday, they promise to deliver a hearty laugh 🥳. Dive into the world of hilarity and discover why these quotes are the ultimate mood boosters! 😄

New funny once quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Once you realize that the general public is retarded, you stop caring about how crazy you look to them.

Commentary:
Embracing the awkward one crazy outfit at a time! 🤪🎩👗
1 week ago
Share →: I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.

Commentary:
Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨
1 week ago
Share →: Once you find humor in any situation, you have nothing to fear.

Commentary:
Laughing through life like it's my cardio workout 😂💪
1 week ago
Share →: “Normalize this, normalize that.” How about y’all feel shame for once?

Commentary:
Normalize laughing at ourselves for not being normal! 😆🤷‍♂️
1 week ago
Share →: Once I matched with a guy and ended up finding out he lived in my neighborhood, so I told him to go outside and scream, and he did. And I heard it.

Commentary:
That’s one way to find out who’s truly committed to the match! 📣😂 #LocalLove
1 week ago
Share →: I once made a joke to a coworker, and she said, “It was the funniest thing I ever said,” and suggested I post it. It got 10 likes.

Commentary:
"Guess I peaked with my comedy career at 10 likes 😂✨ #StandUpLegend"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Commentary:
Finally, a workout plan for my brain 😂🤷‍♂️ #UnderthinkerInTraining
2 weeks ago
Share →: What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Commentary:
POMO: Pleasure Of Missing Out and seeing those crazy updates while you're chillin'. 😎🍿
2 weeks ago
Share →: I tried yoga once. I pulled a hamstring and my dignity.

Commentary:
"I tried yoga once and nearly mastered the art of turning myself into a pretzel… except I forgot the 'calm and composed' part. 🥨😆 #YogaFails"
2 weeks ago
Share →: I have been alive all my life, and have not once seen a Chinese food commercial.

Commentary:
No commercials needed; the fortune cookies spread the word! 🍜🥠🤣

For even more funny once quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny once quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2426 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,588

Funny Quotes Topics

15,259

Funny Quotes Images

12,588

44 minutes ago

3,464

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

I’m not superstitious because it brings bad luck.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has viewed:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

My age no longer permits me to suffer for love, so if you see me sad, it’s due to lack of money.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has copied:

Men used to go to war, now they want to be the little spoon.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

Why the hell is it called the restroom? I am fighting for my life in here.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

One thing I will never understand about adulthood is how I’m supposed to make appointments if I work full time and every place closes at 6 p.m.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Anxiety should have a loyalty rewards program.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

“I thought it might be nice to go round the room and say a bit about ourselves.” Oh dear, you thought wrong.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

“What’s your ETA?” do you ask the birds in the sky when they will arrive.

Going viral on Discord:

You’re so cultured I’mma start calling you Yogurt.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m optimistic, in a pessimistic way.

Freshly posted on X:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Seen just now on Reddit:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Trending via Reddit:

Buying books and reading them are actually two entirely different hobbies.

Making waves on Reddit:

My body is a machine that turns traumatic experiences into 10 likes on X.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

I’m going to be a printer today and just not work.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

A driver that delivers Indian food is called a curryer.

Spotted on TikTok:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Share Wordgag 🙏

© 2025. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴