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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Everything will kill you so pick something fun.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Wild how we don’t get a public holiday for Wrestlemania, but okay.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has shared:

The thumbs up emoji is a nice way to tell someone not only did you receive their message, you’re also done with the conversation.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

I hate how l am a “I have an appointment at 4pm so I can’t do anything all day” type of person.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has shared:

Time travel is all well and good, but I feel so stupid right now. None of them have the mustache. No way to tell which baby is Hitler.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has downloaded:

Sorry, I’m late. I was trying to convince a bathroom hand dryer that I exist.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Every morning I announce that Im going for a jog, but then I don’t go. It’s a running gag.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’ve noticed that when young people now talk about “old people”, they mean me.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,400

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

Live now on Messenger:

I hate porn that starts off with sex. I need to know why they have sex.

Just landed via Twitch:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How do I get my glasses prescription placed in my windshield?

Trending via Messenger:

One thing that sucks about being grown-up is not being able to say, “My mom said no,” when you don’t want someone to come over.

Seen just now on Slack:

My 3 weeks without sweets were over after 12 hours. Proof that time runs faster with increasing age.

Trending via X:

Therapy should be free and accessible because getting traumatized is free and accessible.

Shared recently on Slack:

I find that age is just a number, and the older you get, the number you get.

Seen just now on Discord:

By 30, you should have settled down with an addiction that works for your lifestyle, no second guessing. You go to work, come home, and [addiction].

Going viral on X:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

224 Funny online quotes

Funny online quotes capture the chaos and comedy of our digital lives! 😂💻 Whether it’s the endless scrolling, accidentally sending the wrong message, or trying to act like you’re not procrastinating, these quotes remind us that the online world is full of funny moments. After all, when in doubt, the internet always has something ridiculous to make us laugh! 🤳🌐😆

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Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on TikTok this month:

It’s actually quite simple: I don’t want to eat less, I just want to weigh less.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Does anyone else feel like their brain has a hundred tabs open at once?

29 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

91 shares on Threads this month:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

50 shares on WeChat this month:

Netflix had enough cash to buy Warner Bros., but cried poor when we shared passwords with our mom.

95 shares on WeChat this month:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

20 shares on Reddit this month:

The introverted urge to spend a week alone at home after many holidays and family gatherings.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sometimes I struggle to adjust to civilian life after coming home from the movies.

16 shares on X this month:

Spices were first brought to Western Europe in the Middle Ages. Some of them are still at the back of my cupboard.

33 shares on Twitch this month:

Leaving out milk and cookies for Santa is literally making an offering to a deity.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Have you ever wanted to grab somebody by the shoulders, give them a good shake and whisper “Nobody cares!”

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Best time to reach me is when I’m at work. Don’t bother me when I’m at home.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Got the zoomies at work, and now HR is chasing me around with a butterfly net.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe the reason you haven’t found your soulmate is because you don’t have a soul.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Probably the most empowered I’ve ever felt was that time I stuck a fork in a socket.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Who needs therapy when you can gaslight yourself into thinking that everything is fine?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been thinking. Is ‘fat’ short for anything? Like an old word or something?

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You were promised to me 3,000 years ago.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,587

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has bookmarked:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Are oranges called oranges because they are orange, or is the color orange called orange because an orange is orange?

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Need to shave my legs again. Blow-drying takes far too long.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Social media needs to crash for like a year so everybody can snap back into reality.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

‘Sex with your ex’ is so stupid. If you want to dwell on the past, you can just buy a history book.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

I need the youth to start reading. Even if it’s the tag on your underwear. Read it.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has shared:

I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Ouija boards are like unannounced phone calls for ghosts.

Trending via Twitch:

My body is in shock this morning from having to wake up early and wear hard pants.

Spotted on Reddit:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.

Spotted on TikTok:

Sometimes my mouth hits send before my brain has a chance to stop it.

Going bananas on YouTube:

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

Going bananas on YouTube:

Remember when tweets were like: party rocking with a mouse tonight. Piece of cheese gonna have a big bite.

Going viral on Discord:

What are cats even trying to do?

Broadcasted on Slack:

Reading fanfics is so fun, I wish romantic attraction was real.

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