Funny quotes online

84 Funny online quotes

I’m not drunk enough for this Teams meeting.

3 weeks ago

Grocery shopping while hungry feels like online shopping while drunk.

1 month ago

Online shopping gives me a reason to live for another 3-5 business days.

1 month ago

I like online shopping and putting everything I want in a cart, then checking my subtotal and laughing and closing the tab.

1 month ago

The worst part of online shopping is having to get up and get your card out of your wallet.

2 months ago

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

2 months ago

Breaking News: Local woman stuns in new unnecessary online purchase.

2 months ago

I bought my antidepressants off of Temu and now I glow in the dark.

2 months ago

I wish Amazon would stop finding things I might like.

2 months ago

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

2 months ago

It doesn’t matter how bizarre your situation is. Somebody on Reddit already been there, done that.

2 months ago

People in my real life annoy me, so I come online to annoy you.

2 months ago

The Internet is fun because you can post about banana bread and somehow end up in a fight.

2 months ago

Saying “shut up” before skipping the YouTube ad is literally necessary.

3 months ago

Everyone thinks they will be the first person in history to maintain their dignity while posting online.

3 months ago

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and retweet if you agree.

3 months ago

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

3 months ago

I can’t stand when people need constant validation online. Like, comment, and share if you agree.

3 months ago

First responders? You mean reply guys?

3 months ago

Welcome to Twitter, where everyone is an expert on everything.

3 months ago