Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I always tell my kids that it’s okay to make mistakes just as long as you learn how to blame them on other people.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has viewed:

I love reading a menu. Look at all this stuff I want to eat.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Thank you all for attending my final rose ceremony. There will be no roses.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Yesterday I went to a fight and a baseball game broke out.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Much like a candle, I was tall when I was young, but I get shorter as I grow old.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has downloaded:

Jobs be asking me for 3 references, and I think I might start doing the same. Like, let me talk to 3 happy employees, please.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

The two types of video games are kill everything that moves and Microsoft Excel.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

I smile at all animals, just not the human ones.

Making waves on TikTok:

My son is teaching himself Christmas songs on the trumpet, proving things can be both beautiful and annoying.

Live now on Pinterest:

I can actually be quite charming if you would let me out of the guillotine.

Making waves on Messenger:

In a parallel universe, Mariah Carey is doing her shopping and is sick of hearing me on every store’s speaker system.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Making waves on Reddit:

I’m not good at quickly making up derogatory names on the fly, unless I’m driving.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Donating blood today to make room for more food.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Going viral on Twitch:

It was me, I let the dogs out.

56 Funny order quotes

Funny order quotes 📝🤣 are the perfect blend of chaos and humor, capturing the delightful absurdity of everyday requests. From coffee shop mix-ups ☕ to the hilarious miscommunications at restaurants 🍔, these quotes shine a spotlight on the quirks of ordering in our fast-paced world. Whether you’re a fan of witty wordplay or laugh-out-loud blunders, there’s something in these gems to tickle your funny bone and keep you giggling through the day! 😂🙌

New funny order quotes 👇

For even more funny order quotes, hit next 👇

All funny order quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

I could never be an Instagram mom influencer. For starters, I wouldn’t be able to give my kids a name like Banjo or Parmesan or Chandelier.

80 shares on Instagram this month:

Men make money to be with a woman, but women make money to not have to be with a man. Clock it!

97 shares on Messenger this month:

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

81 shares on Slack this month:

Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

77 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you don’t like me, remember: it’s mind over matter. I don’t mind, and you don’t matter.

30 shares on Pinterest this month:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

46 shares on YouTube this month:

I’m old enough to remember when regular websites were usable.

32 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I look deep into my colleagues’ eyes to check if you really can’t see the back of their skulls.

29 shares on Threads this month:

Doesn’t matter, Your Honor! I, for one, found it very funny.

93 shares on Pinterest this month:

No one ever talks about the 6th love language (being annoying).

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I tried being the bigger person but all it got me was type 2 diabetes.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“This too shall pass!” Okay, but like, when exactly?

14 folks are currently checking 👀

My dating era has come to an end. I’d like to thank those who participated.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Called in, “If we’re living in a simulation, just simulate that I’m in the office today.”

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Prime Video will find the movie you were looking for and then say, “Oops, you gotta pay for it.”

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Milk or be milked.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Women do not snore. The sound they make at night is just the rewinding of the vocal cords.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The food hits different when it ain’t yours.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,551

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

You should be allowed to leave work early if you miss your wife enough.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s time to stare blankly at my wall for hours straight and think about where I went wrong with my life.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has downloaded:

Whatever doesn’t kill you is probably still trying.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

All my passwords are protected, by my poor memory.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

He had the nerve to call me pretty. I’m gorgeous.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has shared:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Remember: The first step to recovery is addiction.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

Crazy how many organs in your body are dedicated to the poopification of dinner.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

Took my car to the mechanic because it was making a terrible noise. He removed the Mariah Carey Christmas CD, and now it’s fine.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Telegram:

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Just shared via Telegram:

I like running because it’s cheaper than paying for a gym membership. If the gym wants the money I owe them, they’ll have to catch me.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There hasn’t been a single person in human history that was remembered for spending their life working a 9-5 job.

Seen just now on X:

Sorry, I wasn’t really listening but that’s awesome, unless it isn’t of course.

Trending via Slack:

An apple a day keeps the doctor away, but if the doctor is cute, forget the fruit.

Live now on Reddit:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I followed my heart, and it led me to the fridge.

Just shared via Reddit:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Just landed via Discord:

We got our carpet cleaned today, so I’m just waiting for the dog to throw up.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴