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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Good news: I only ate one slice of pizza. Bad news: I did that four times in a row.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

My lawyer dropped his briefcase and nunchuks fell out.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has bookmarked:

She was rare. Like a meth head with good teeth.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

I was a nothingburger to him, but he was an everything bagel to me…

Someone from 🇸🇱 has shared:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

If I ever look at my phone in the middle of a conversation with you, I’m not reading a text; I’m just looking up the definition of a word I just used a bit too confidently.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I sexually identify as a microwave dinner, because I am ready in 5 minutes, look nothing like my photos, and I’m just satisfying enough for you to want me again when you’re desperate.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,339

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Telegram:

Used dark mode so much that I became physically repulsed when I see a white screen.

Just landed via TikTok:

Glory hole but for forehead kisses.

Seen just now on Slack:

Sorry you thought I I was flirting with you; I had something in my eye.

Going bananas on Messenger:

Just saw onto the sidelines, they literally have enough footballs for all the players, they’re making them fight over that one for no reason.

Live now on Slack:

I come from a long line of people with something wrong with them.

Making waves on Reddit:

Waving at the end of every Zoom call like it’s the 1800s and a big steamship is leaving the harbor.

Trending via Instagram:

People who read and research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Trending via Snapchat:

Everyone talks about climate change, but no one has the courage to sacrifice a virgin to appease the gods.

Just landed via Slack:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Making her wear those remote-controlled vibrating panties in public so I can inform her when I’m tired and want to leave the party.

Funny outer quotes

Funny outer quotes bring a cosmic twist to your day 🌌😄! Whether you’re orbiting through tough moments or just need a chuckle from the stars, these witty words light up your universe 🌟🚀. Perfect for sharing with friends or adding some spacey humor to your feed, they remind us that laughter is truly out of this world! 🌍✨ #CosmicComedy #SpaceLaughs

New funny outer quotes 👇

All funny outer quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

99 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

24 shares on X this month:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

90 shares on TikTok this month:

I don’t know what millennial needs to hear this, but throw away the box your phone came in. You don’t need it. You will never need it.

65 shares on WhatsApp this month:

80 percent of my life now is just “hmmmm… should I bring my jacket or not?”

11 shares on TikTok this month:

I watch “Law and Order” so much that when I turn off the TV, I wipe my fingerprints off the remote.

90 shares on Telegram this month:

The worst person you know is in therapy right now, being told they need to put themselves first.

22 shares on TikTok this month:

What does my tattoo mean? It means I couldn’t be trusted with $200 when I was 18.

83 shares on Snapchat this month:

Any jar is a swear jar when the lid won’t open.

54 shares on Discord this month:

Not all works of art are in a museum. I, for example, am lying on the couch at home.

34 shares on Facebook this month:

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t scare me, you’re not my kid noticing her sibling got a bigger slice of cake.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’m at that stage of Christmas shopping where I start buying myself presents.”

20 folks are currently checking 👀

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

The golden rule of three beverages: one to hydrate, one to caffeinate, and one to celebrate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I love men with a provider fetish.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Watching “Dirty Dancing” as a teenager: Damn right, no one puts Baby in a corner. Watching “Dirty Dancing” as an adult: This girl is a brat and needs a lesson.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is like a psych ward with no staff.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t talk to me while my earphones are in, man, I’m at a concert.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,289

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has copied:

Showering at night is so sexy and clean and self-care vibes. Showering in the morning is so productivity core, cog in the machine core.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Life is basically avoiding people who have seen you naked, whilst trying to find new people to see you naked.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has shared:

Laying in bed with the nervous system of someone going to war.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it. Everything about it is shit.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has shared:

Hey, if the Earth could stop air frying me, that’d be great.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Halloween is cool, but nothing is spookier than my previous choices in men.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

I’m so jealous of people who know how to shut up. I shut up, and subtitles come out my face.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Social media is proof that even mental hospitals have WiFi.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Spotify wrapped is like my annual mental health report and it’s getting worse by each passing year.

Breaking via Discord:

I hate when people ask me what I meant by something. Listen, I have no idea. I’m as confused here as you are. We’re both learning what I’m about to say at the exact same time.

Just shared via Twitch:

I wish it was socially acceptable to DM someone, “Hey, why did you and your partner break up?”

Shared recently on Facebook:

Ctrl Alt delete my fat.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m always a little mean to men because, if you treat them like humans, they think you wanna sleep with them.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You look like the kind of person who would hit rock bottom and then start drilling.

Just landed via YouTube:

My body is a vessel for various dips.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Cheesecake dislikers are attention seekers.

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