Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

Hi, I’m a social media user, you might know me from such hits as “I’m leaving this stupid place” and “I’m back everybody.”

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Lie during your job interview because they’re lying to you about their great work environment.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

It’s with a heavy heart and a deep sadness that I have to announce that I’m at work.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

Nothing more humiliating than sending a text message with a picture and the picture doesn’t send for ages and now you’ve said something sooo odd out of context.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

A guy waited exactly 3 days to text me. Someone’s been studying the ancient scrolls of 1980s dating advice.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

I’m pretty sure emojis were invented so introverts don’t have to say anything to anyone.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Stop wasting your money on beauty products. The secret to looking young is to wear a baseball cap with a propeller on it.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

I’m so bored, I’m gonna join a poly-relationship and stage a coup and kick the main one out.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

If I were an organ, I’d fail.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has copied:

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,318

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

When someone sits in the empty seat beside you: flattered yet annoyed. When no one sits in the empty seat beside you: offended yet relieved.

Shared recently on Messenger:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Salary week, but salary weak.

Freshly posted on Slack:

By the time I remember to text back, it be too disrespectful to even do it.

Breaking via Threads:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Going bananas on Discord:

Nothing ruins your weekend faster than remembering Monday is lurking in the shadows.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Nothing really prepares you for when your favorite sweatpants begin to fall apart.

Going viral on YouTube:

Screen time so high, I should send another risky message and then ignore my cell phone for three days.

Breaking via Reddit:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Just shared via Reddit:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

179 Funny own quotes

Funny own quotes 😂 are like the best kind of confetti – they sprinkle our lives with unexpected hilarity and a dash of wisdom! Whether you’re crafting a one-liner masterpiece or a quirky observation, these gems are your personal stand-up routine ready to steal the spotlight. So, grab your keyboard, channel your inner comedian, and unleash your wit on the world because the only thing better than a good laugh is one you wrote yourself! 🎉

New funny own quotes 👇

I feel bad for those that don’t enjoy their own company. I be having a ball by myself.

2 hours ago

alone, bad, ball, company, enjoy, enjoyment, feel, feeling, feeling bad, fun, having, having fun, i, myself, own, self, self company, self enjoyment
Oh, that gap on my resume is from when I was the architect of my own hell.

7 hours ago

architect, experience, gap, hell, humor, i, oh, own, resume, self-deprecation, work, work experience
Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

8 hours ago

emotion, emotionally, humor, joke, jokes, laugh, own, self-awareness, stability, stable
Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

10 hours ago

better, computer, humor, lived, nostalgia, old, old times, only, own, privacy, room, sometimes, specific, technology, things, times
I see posts like, “If food is too expensive, just grow your own.” Okay, Einstein, why didn’t I think of that?

11 hours ago

advice, expense, expensive, food, frustration, gardening, grow, humor, i, just, okay, own, posts, sarcasm, think, too, why
My sex life is so dead, it has its own tombstone.

11 hours ago

dead, humor, joke, life, own, relationship, sex, sex life, tombstone
What’s my net worth? Buddy, I don’t own a net.

13 hours ago

buddy, finance, humor, i, joke, money, net, net worth, own, pun, wordplay, worth
For your own sanity, move on like you never knew them, because in reality, you never did.

13 hours ago

advice, emotional, emotional health, forgetting, health, humor, memory, mindset, move, move on, never, own, reality, relationship, sanity
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

15 hours ago

advice, always, communication, decision, decision making, humor, making, mixed, mixed signal, own, sanity, signal, signals, take
Asking for a cigarette, then adding it to my own pack.

16 hours ago

asking, cigarette, humor, joke, own, pack, smoking, stealing

For even more funny own quotes, hit next 👇

All funny own quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on X this month:

I can’t believe I slept good all night. What a rush.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

Born to be a frolicker of the forest, forced to be a cog in the machine.

76 shares on Instagram this month:

Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

34 shares on Snapchat this month:

You are allowed to be crazy as long as you are equally as hot.

14 shares on YouTube this month:

Too many types of pasta. I can say my fav is Fliccaroni and not one of you can be sure if it’s real. Look at you googling it.

67 shares on Snapchat this month:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

35 shares on Pinterest this month:

My friend thinks he’s smart. He said onions are the only food that makes him cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

75 shares on Pinterest this month:

The cool thing about ignoring a notification is being surprised to see it over and over again.

94 shares on X this month:

Making dinner with my left hand, so it feels like someone else is doing it.

64 shares on Snapchat this month:

I didn’t buy that thing I wanted but didn’t need, so I celebrated by buying a different thing I wanted but didn’t need.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter needs a button that’s “bring back that tweet I was just starting to read before you automatically refreshed.”

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Gonna close my bank account and keep all my money on me, like Sonic the Hedgehog.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Hey, I came over because the grass seemed really green here, but now that I’m looking back that grass actually looks crazy green, so I’m gonna go.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

“Can’t wait till I get older” was the dumbest thing I ever said.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The free hotel blow-dryer should be easier to get off the bathroom wall.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Drove by a woman with her car broke down, I was going to stop and help until I remembered I don’t know anything about cars or women.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I’ll do a random act of kindness, like keeping my mouth shut, for example.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has copied:

My sleep schedule and I are not on speaking terms.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

I’m a social media influencer in that I’ve influenced people to ignore me on social media.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Remember when movies felt real, and foreheads could wrinkle.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has shared:

You ever see a woman so beautiful it makes you momentarily mentally ill?

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

“Are we still going?” … An introvert’s attempt to cancel.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

My fight or flight response has frequent flyer miles.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has shared:

Humans should grow a new set of teeth in our 30s to make-up for all the poor decisions in our 20s.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

When you look this sexy, they should let you leave work early.

Just shared via Instagram:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on Facebook every day.

Going bananas on TikTok:

Just bought 4 pounds of cherries like I’m in some math problem.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Good morning to everyone except people who sit right next to you when there’s a whole room full of empty seats.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

A month in Italy has halved my will to work and doubled my desire for money.

Just landed via Facebook:

I really wish people would stop thinking they need to speak to me in the mornings.

Just landed via Messenger:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

You should never forget where you came from. That’s probably where your keys are.

Making waves on YouTube:

Never underestimate my ability to stare out a window and not speak for hours on a car ride.

Seen just now on Twitch:

When I say I love the ocean, I mean I love the surface. Whatever goes on beneath has my respect, but it’s none of my business.

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