120 Funny own quotes

• 

  12 hours ago

  Share →: I called the cops on my own party, because I was ready to go to bed.

  Commentary:
  When you know you're the life of the party but also the head of the bedtime committee 😂🛏️🎉

• 

  20 hours ago

  Share →: I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

  Commentary:
  When they say "adult supervision required," apparently that's just a suggestion! 😂🚶‍♂️🧩

• 

  3 days ago

  Share →: Today I was in a taxi, and the taxi driver said, “I love my job. I am my own boss, nobody tells me what to do!” Then I said, “Turn left.”

  Commentary:
  That's a quick way to show him who's really in charge! 😂🚖👌

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

  Commentary:
  Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

  Commentary:
  Who knew the Discovery Channel would go from Shark Week to Glazed Goodness Week? 🍩😂

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Someone taking your parking space at your own home is a different type of anger.

  Commentary:
  When it comes to home parking wars, it's tow away or the highway! 🚗💥😠

• 

  1 week ago

  Share →: Female dragonflies will fake their own deaths to avoid mating with unwanted males. They are like, “Ugh, here comes Carl again. Play dead, girl!“

  Commentary:
  "Classic Carl, always ruining a good flight. 😂💀🦗"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: When you accidentally laugh at your own thoughts, and now people are staring.

  Commentary:
  "When your brain becomes the unintentional comedian and suddenly you're the star of the awkward show! 😂🤦‍♂️"}

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

  Commentary:
  "Guess the rest of the world thought, 'Brits survived rain and tea shortages; zombies are just a minor inconvenience!' 🇬🇧🧟‍♂️☕😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: Fleetwood Mac said that I could go my own way, your honor.

  Commentary:
  "Well, I guess if Fleetwood Mac said it, who are we to argue? 🎸😅 #FollowTheMusic"

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