Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Commentary:
"Whispering to the paramedic before I pass out: Save me, but just enough that Monday can be postponed indefinitely 🚑😂 #Priorities"
6 months ago
Share →: I still can’t believe Aldi sells shopping carts for 25 cents. I’ve got 8 of them now and don’t really even have a use for them, it was just too good of a deal to pass up.

Commentary:
"Who needs a storage unit when you can just hoard shopping carts from Aldi? 🛒🤣 Clearly, this person is taking 'retail therapy' to a whole new level! What's next, a shopping cart castle in the backyard? ♛🏰"
6 months ago
Share →: This too shall pass. It might pass like a kidney stone. But it will pass.

Commentary:
🤣😅 Hang in there, buddy! Remember, tough times are like kidney stones – painful, but temporary! Just stay strong, hold on tight, and brace yourself for the wild ride. You've got this! 💪👊 #YouWillSurvive
6 months ago
Share →: “This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

Commentary:
"Well, isn't that just life's special way of saying surprise, surprise! 🙃 Just when you think you've got it all figured out, here comes another plot twist ready to stir things up! 🌪️ Hang in there, the merry-go-round of nonsense keeps spinning! 🎠 #LifeIsAJoke"
6 months ago
Share →: I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

Commentary:
Looks like someone took "digesting information" a bit too literally! 📝🍴🤓 Who knew passing a test could involve actual consumption? Let's hope the brain food pays off with an A+ in the end! 🤞🏆😂
6 months ago
Share →: Forget my browser history, when I finally pass from this earth, please delete my calculator history because it’s way more embarrassing.

Commentary:
"Oh, the secrets hidden within a calculator history! 💻🤫 Let's keep that under lock and key, shall we? Can you imagine the embarrassment if someone stumbled upon your '2+2=?' moments? 😆"
6 months ago
Share →: Hey, can I get an ETA on that “this too shall pass”?

Commentary:
"Sure thing! The ETA for 'this too shall pass' delivery is currently stuck in existential traffic, but it should be arriving fashionably late like a wise old proverb any minute now 🕒🚗 Hang in there, patience is a virtue after all! 😉"
6 months ago
Share →: They should make you watch a training video and pass a little test before you’re allowed to touch the office coffee maker.

Commentary:
"Because in a world where coffee is the elixir of productivity, the sacred duty of brewing a good pot should not be taken lightly! 🤓☕️ Pass the coffee test, earn the brew badge, and welcome to the caffeinated elite circle of office heroes!"
6 months ago
Share →: I love when my husband says, “correct me if I’m wrong,” like I would pass up that opportunity.

Commentary:
"Ah, the rare moment when a husband willingly opens the door to being corrected… Such a brave soul! 🤣 Here's to seizing those precious opportunities with gusto! 💁‍♀️🔥"
6 months ago
Share →: People pass a joint around like it’s no big deal, but the minute I ask someone to do that with their Subway sandwich, I’m a weirdo.

Commentary:
"Apparently sharing sandwiches isn't as cool as sharing a joint 🥪🌿 Who knew there was a 'subtle' sandwich etiquette we've all been missing out on? 😂 #WeirdButHungry"