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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

Rudolph, with your nose so bright, help me find my phone tonight.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Don’t even get into my car if you’re just gonna scream every time I hit something.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has downloaded:

Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

Diabetes was the God of sugar.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

“I can’t possibly lose this if I put it here” I say to myself before completely forgetting where here is.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

3 minutes ago

3,441

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Reddit:

Did we do it, did we save the daylight?

Making waves on Facebook:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Seen just now on Discord:

Considering that doctors are never on time, they should tell you to come a half hour late, not early.

Going viral on Instagram:

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re excited about your organized fridge.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Live now on Reddit:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Reported on Telegram:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Know what goes good with beer? Another one.

Home » Funny Patience Quotes

81 Funny patience quotes

Funny patience quotes offer a humorous perspective on the art of waiting and enduring. ⏳😂 From witty observations about our struggles with patience to playful comments on the trials of being patient, these quotes bring a light-hearted touch to the challenge of staying calm. Embrace the comedy in patience and enjoy a chuckle as you navigate life’s waiting games! ⏳😂

New funny patience quotes 👇

21 hours ago
Share →: This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Commentary:
🌍✈️ Looks like I became a full-time resident of Airplane-ville. I just ordered a monogrammed seat cushion! 🎒🍼😅
4 days ago
Share →: The pain of watching a movie with someone who talks a lot.

Commentary:
Trying to watch a movie with a chatterbox is like reading a book in a library with a rock band playing behind you! 📚🎸🤐
4 days ago
Share →: Talking to some people is like folding a fitted sheet.

Commentary:
Trying to understand this conversation is like finding the unicorn of laundry skills! 🦄🧺😂
5 days ago
Share →: You never realize how long a minute is until you’re exercising.

Commentary:
Time warp alert! 🕒 Who knew a minute could stretch longer than a yoga mat? 😂🧘‍♂️
5 days ago
Share →: May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Commentary:
Karma's got a clipboard, and it's taking notes! 📝😅🐶👶
5 days ago
Share →: The cold water does not get warmer if you jump late.

Commentary:
Jump right in, the water's already gossiping about us standing on the edge! 🏊‍♂️❄️😂
6 days ago
Share →: The recipe I’m making specifically says “allow to cook undisturbed,” and yet my whole family is standing in the kitchen.

Commentary:
Sounds like the only thing cooking undisturbed tonight will be my patience! 🍳😅👨‍🍳
6 days ago
Share →: Forced to say “it’s okay” instead of throwing a chair at them.

Commentary:
When you channel your inner Zen master instead of your inner WWE wrestler 😂🪑💫
6 days ago
Share →: Everyone’s gangsta till you’re waiting on your dog to poop.

Commentary:
When your dog takes longer to poop than your favorite show takes for a new season… 🍿🐶⏳
7 days ago
Share →: Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Commentary:
Still waiting, but at least I don't have to worry about becoming a dinosaur snack! 🦖🐐😅

For even more funny patience quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny patience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

766 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,928

Funny Quotes Topics

13,900

Funny Quotes Images

10,928

3 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

Every time someone tries to fight with me online, a middle finger gets its wings.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

I could never commit gun violence. The only things I know how to reload are my pill caddy and the batteries for the remote.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

Today in who needs an alarm: my kid woke me up early by scream-whispering WHAT IS DUST?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has shared:

I’ve never met a garlic bread I didn’t get on with.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

Life stopped being real after 2019 anyways.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

What, and I cannot stress this enough, day is it.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

Being an adult is getting excited about buying new appliances.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has copied:

They invented the word metallic, because irony was already taken.

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Discord:

I’m putting free wifi on my gravestone, so people will come visit me.

Going viral on Facebook:

I fondly remember my days as a younger man when I didn’t care what the weather was going to do.

Going viral on WeChat:

Whenever I’m with real yappers, I realize I might actually be a listener.

Freshly posted on X:

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The word “ugly” cannot be used on women, I’m sorry. Women just can’t be ugly, that’s a boy thing.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Live now on Facebook:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Going viral on X:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

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