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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has downloaded:

I don’t jump to conclusions, I cannonball into them like a boss.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

Clueless but committed – that’s my vibe.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

You can mess up big time letting someone know you have a printer.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Some people are wise; some are otherwise.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has shared:

I love the idea of a fruitarian, just morally affronted that anyone could eat a baby spinach.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Country music is for men who need a little help crying.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

Baby for sale. Refuses to wear shoes.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Welcome to parenting! The only hobbies you have left are the ones you can do in the bathroom.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,523

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Slack:

I’m not well rested. Sleeping Beauty was well rested.

Seen just now on Discord:

I know some people don’t like me, but what can I do, not everyone has good taste.

Live now on Discord:

I don’t understand why my husband has to pay for a UFC fight when he could just throw one piece of candy on the floor in front of our kids.

Just landed via Discord:

Doggystyle, so we can both look at the river.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Girlhood is sitting down in a boiling hot shower instead of dealing with life.

Shared recently on X:

I can’t wait to go to bed, get terrible sleep, and wake up exhausted with a sore back.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Don’t forget to set your clocks back to seasonal depression this weekend.

Trending via WhatsApp:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Trending via Messenger:

The best thing about the internet is that you’re never the dumbest one here.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I’m doing a challenge called ‘November’ — it’s where I just try to get through every day in the month of November.

120 Funny patience quotes

Funny patience quotes offer a humorous perspective on the art of waiting and enduring. ⏳😂 From witty observations about our struggles with patience to playful comments on the trials of being patient, these quotes bring a light-hearted touch to the challenge of staying calm. Embrace the comedy in patience and enjoy a chuckle as you navigate life’s waiting games! ⏳😂

New funny patience quotes 👇

For even more funny patience quotes, hit next 👇

All funny patience quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

71 shares on Instagram this month:

I’m not your dream woman. I am the sudden shouting of ravens that you hear when you enter a part of the forest you shouldn’t have.

78 shares on Pinterest this month:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

40 shares on Threads this month:

Starting the second half of your sandwich is like “hell yeah, baby, let’s run it back!”

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Forget a dinner date, let’s go sit in court listening to people’s cases.

73 shares on WeChat this month:

You should be able to like an email instead of replying to it.

14 shares on Twitch this month:

I don’t hate you. I just don’t like that you exist.

22 shares on Discord this month:

I like when games that have no need for a jump button have a jump button.

83 shares on Twitch this month:

If you comment to say “No comment,” you have, in fact, commented.

75 shares on X this month:

I get writer’s block responding to people.

93 shares on WeChat this month:

Me passing someone: you slow mule! Me being passed: okay, speed racer!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The key to happiness: 1/ order a pizza. 2/ eat that pizza. 3/ repeat!

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Today sucked so bad, I had to stop by the liquor store on my way to the bar.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ve never done parkour, but I have chased a toddler with an open Sharpie through the house.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

She never lets ideas interrupt the easy flow of her conversation.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that tingly little feeling you get when you like someone? That’s common sense leaving your body.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not sure what’s longer: a microwave minute or watching a video while someone else is holding the phone, insisting it’s hilarious.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“Jump to Recipe” is the closest we’ll ever get to teleportation.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s. If you don’t have a mysterious ailment, one will be assigned to you shortly.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

If you see me online, I’m not chatting. I’m busy ignoring the world and laughing at memes like it’s therapy.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when kids tell me what they want to be when they grow up, because I’m still looking for ideas.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,639

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇴 has copied:

Current situation: lying in bed, trying to manifest breakfast.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has bookmarked:

My future husband and I will be stay-at-home parents, and the kids will go to work.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has shared:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

Relationship status: nobody is cheating on me so that’s pretty neat.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

When society eventually breaks down and we are left to rebuild civilization, I hope there are people who still know how to make cheese.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has shared:

Why put off until tomorrow what you can have an intern do today?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I bet there’s a couple of seconds on that medieval torture stretcher rack where it feels incredible.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has downloaded:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Pets don’t talk because the moment they do, the government will tax them.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

My body is a temple. An ancient, creaky temple with questionable plumbing.

Live now on Facebook:

I’m not a good fit for the traditional job market because my greatest strengths are challenging authority, being self-righteous, and wanting to go home.

Just landed via Facebook:

Clothes too dirty for the closet, but too clean for laundry. Welcome to: the chair.

Making waves on TikTok:

I love when my friends have quiet boyfriends. Like, girl, your dog is so good, sis.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Going viral on Pinterest:

This place was really tidy yesterday. It’s a shame you missed it.

Just landed via X:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Spotted on Reddit:

Hey there, Delilah, we know you broke that dude’s heart.

Just landed via Pinterest:

The Welsh language was invented by a dad losing at Scrabble.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Your birthday as an adult mainly consists of texting back ‘Thanks!’ to people you haven’t talked to in 5 years.

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