24 Funny perfect quotes

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  5 months ago

  Share →: You can use an egg timer to tell you when your egg is cooked perfectly. For brown rice you can use a calendar.

  Commentary:
  "Who knew cooking brown rice required a schedule 📆 while eggs just need a quick timer ⏲️? Brown rice be like 'Hold on, let me check my calendar before I get all chewy and clumpy!' 🍚🤣 #KitchenConundrums"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think I’m about six months away from the perfect ‘before’ picture.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the eternal quest for that ideal 'before' picture! Just six more months of procrastination, snacks, and Netflix marathons. 🍕📺 You've got this! 💪😅"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t have a new year resolution, you don’t need that when you’re perfect.

  Commentary:
  "Why bother with new year resolutions when perfection is already your middle name? 💁‍♂️ Keep shining, you flawless creature! ✨ #LifeGoals"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: A perfect parent is a person with excellent child-rearing theories and no actual children.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the elusive perfect parent – armed with a library of child-rearing books but not a diaper in sight! 📚💁‍♂️ Who needs real-life experience when you've got all the theories, right?! 😂 #ParentingGoals"

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