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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Don’t worry, darling, you won’t break me. Someone already beat you to it.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

90% of my thoughts start with: “What can I eat now?”

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

My wife’s resolution to yell at the kids less has just taken a very bad turn.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

Sending messages is easy. Living with them forever is the hard part.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has copied:

At my size, I’d be called Buffet the Vampire Slayer.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

If porn damages your brain, and writing develops your brain, does writing porn even it out?

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,413

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via YouTube:

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Computers used to scream out in pain when we connected to the internet. This was a warning and we did not heed it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Just shared via X:

I’m not built to work, I’m built to brood in a castle with all my unread books.

Going viral on Telegram:

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

Trending via Discord:

The early bird gets to cry for a little bit longer in the work parking lot.

Just landed via Threads:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Going viral on Messenger:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Trending via YouTube:

Ninety percent of my new follows are beautiful women, which tells me one thing: I’ve still got it!

Seen just now on WeChat:

My soulmate is probably out there, wondering if there’s life on earth.

Funny perfectionist quotes

Funny perfectionist quotes bring a hilarious twist to the quest for flawlessness 🎯🤣. They capture the struggle of chasing the impossible while keeping things light and relatable ✨🙃. If you’re a perfectionist who loves to laugh at the chaos behind the scenes, these witty gems will hit just the right spot 🎉💡. Get ready to smile at the perfectly imperfect moments we all share! 😜👌

New funny perfectionist quotes 👇

All funny perfectionist quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

74 shares on Slack this month:

I have the patience of a nearly ripe avocado.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

19 shares on TikTok this month:

We need a slur for people that use AI.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

You can’t argue with me because I’ll just agree with you until you leave.

65 shares on Pinterest this month:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

84 shares on Slack this month:

Sorry, I’m late. I sat on my bed in a towel for 45 minutes, staring at the wall.

14 shares on Pinterest this month:

Is it better to beat someone to the punch or punch someone to the beat?

31 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.

94 shares on WeChat this month:

The history of mankind would have been completely different if Adam and Eve had been Chinese. They would have left the apple hanging and eaten the snake.

68 shares on Instagram this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Onion rings? I’m answering.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

You’re way hotter in your forties and fifties than in your twenties. The glow up is in the grow up.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Aliens only abduct the people that are already nuts so no one will believe them when they try and tell everyone.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite part about health insurance is how your teeth and eyeballs are add-ons.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

There are people who have a favourite colour, and there are people whose favourite colour is purple. These are very different things. Purple fans are different creatures.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Jan 1st: Avocado on whole grain toast with a protein shake. Jan 20th: Syrup comes from a tree so technically it’s a vegetable.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Whenever my Mother-in-Law’s stories end with “And I turned out OK” I’m looking around like who’s gonna tell her.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Changing my relationship status from “Single” to “I give up.”

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Nothing rattles me like the difference between rows and columns, man. I hate it so much.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,640

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

You didn’t lock in hard enough if you’re not feeling asexual.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Right now somebody’s therapist is hearing about YOU.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Only a couple more days until I come home and pretend I forgot about Valentine’s Day.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has downloaded:

I think if you ask Kanye for a million at the right time, he’ll give it to you.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has viewed:

Coke Zero sounds like a government pledge to eliminate fizzy drinks by 2030.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Do people who do triathlons know that they don’t have to?

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

It’s important to remember that even parents make mistakes. In fact, it’s how many of us became parents.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

If you can’t tell which family member is coming up the stairs by the speed and weight of their footsteps, are you even family?

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Sorry I’m late, there was bubble wrap.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Twitch:

Weddings should have a worst man.

Just landed via Instagram:

People who are on Twitter and put intelligent in their bio, good one.

Making waves on WeChat:

The only time you should be faking it is when your pet checks to see if you’re awake.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Making waves on Telegram:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Going viral on Facebook:

The best part of the relationship is before you meet them, and you’re single.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

People don’t hate working, they hate working and still being poor.

Just landed via Instagram:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Breaking via Instagram:

I’ve tasted being the bigger person, I’ve also tasted matching energy. I recommend no contact.

Going bananas on Instagram:

The brain is a wonderful organ; it starts working the moment you get up in the morning and does not stop until you get into the office.

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