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146 Funny person quotes

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

Funny Quotes Apr 1, 2025

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

Funny Quotes Mar 30, 2025

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

Funny Quotes Mar 20, 2025

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

Funny Quotes Mar 11, 2025

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

Funny Quotes Mar 7, 2025

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

Funny Quotes Feb 24, 2025

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

Funny Quotes Feb 15, 2025