Funny quotes person

150 Funny person quotes

Old people get so mad when you’re young and tired.

4 days ago

Finding a person to make eye contact with during stupid meetings is essential to survival in the workplace.

2 weeks ago

Hearing my voice in recording makes me wanna apologize to every person I talked to.

2 weeks ago

Do you ever look into your cats eyes and realize that a person is inside there?

2 weeks ago

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

3 weeks ago

Sometimes I wish I could turn down the volume on certain people.

4 weeks ago

I’m like if a birthday card with no money inside was a person.

1 month ago

A person becomes 10 times more attractive not by their looks but by photoshop.

1 month ago

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

1 month ago

Nobody’s more stubborn than an Android person that won’t switch to iPhone.

1 month ago

We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

1 month ago

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

1 month ago

A person that weights 200 pounds on Earth weighs 76 pounds on Mars. So I’m not overweight, I’m on the wrong planet.

1 month ago

Conflicts may arise but always remember to be the bitter person.

1 month ago

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

1 month ago

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

1 month ago

Mr. Beast is like if they made Dubai into a person.

1 month ago

Now I understand why old people sit outside just to sit outside.

1 month ago

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

1 month ago

Never meeting another person again, so if I know you already, congrats!

2 months ago

You can learn a lot about a person by observing their every waking movement from a tree outside their house.

2 months ago

Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow internet to see who they really are.

2 months ago

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

2 months ago

Autocorrect is like a tiny person inside your phone that sometimes gets drunk and says the dumbest things.

2 months ago

A college education is one of the few things a person is willing to pay for and not get.

2 months ago

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

2 months ago

Imagine how organized the first person to write down a recipe must have been.

2 months ago

I never though I’d be the kind of person who wakes up early to exercise. I was right.

2 months ago

One thing I love about the internet is seeing some of the most hateful people posting inspirational quotes.

2 months ago

Why do people think it’s ok to ask why a person is single? I don’t ask why you’re unhappily married.

3 months ago