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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

I’m surprised some of you are allowed out of your house on your own.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

My superpower? Staying calm when talking to idiots.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has copied:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

God ate when he created sleep, what a beautiful concept.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Good morning. May your day be as beautiful as I am.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

Has anyone noticed what it’s beginning to look a lot like?

Someone from 🇸🇾 has copied:

I can’t believe that it’s our turn to give money to our nephews and nieces.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,497

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Life hack: You can turn your ordinary sofa into a sofa bed by simply forgetting your wife’s birthday.

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Life is strange. We come into the world with nothing, then we struggle for everything, and finally, we leave with nothing.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Going viral on Facebook:

I’m still trying to dig myself out my ringtone debt from the late 90’s.

Just shared via X:

Y’all be riding them bikes in the street like I don’t gotta look up my next song.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Jump to recipe is the closest thing we have to teleportation.

Just landed via WeChat:

Managed to empty the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something there takes on a life of its own.

Going viral on Messenger:

Of course I wrote a grocery list. I carefully wrote it all down and then didn’t bring it with me, like my mother and her mother before her.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

TikTok? I still call it a watch.

Breaking via X:

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

308 Funny person quotes

Funny person quotes are all about those unique, hilarious individuals who bring laughter into our lives! 😄👤 Whether it’s someone who always has a clever comeback, a friend who’s just a little too honest, or a family member with the quirkiest habits, these quotes prove that every person is a potential source of comedy. Let’s celebrate the funny people who make life more fun! 😂🎉🙌

New funny person quotes 👇

Type of person to take the long way home just to listen to more music.

7 days ago

detour, driving, enjoyment, home, journey, just, listen, long way, music, person, personality, take, type
Old people are right about crosswords and morning stretches, I will admit.

7 days ago

admit, aging, crossword, habit, health, health habit, humor, i, morning, morning stretch, old, old person, people, person, right, stretch
If you break up with the same person enough times, you eventually get married. Never give up.

7 days ago

break, break up, commitment, dating, enough, give, humor, love, marriage, married, never, persistence, person, relationship, same, times
Dear algorithm, please show this post only to smart people with a refined sense of beauty.

1 week ago

algorithm, beauty, dear, humor, media, only, people, person, please, post, request, sense, show, smart, smart person, social, social media
I am a firm believer that singing ‘Slide Away’ at the top of your lungs changes you as a person.

1 week ago

activity, am, away, change, changes, expression, fun, fun activity, i, karaoke, lungs, music, Oasis, person, personal, personal change, singing, slide, song, top
Unfortunately, I am the first person in my family to do what they want.

1 week ago

am, choice, family, humor, i, independence, individualism, person, personal, personal choice, unfortunately, want
Unfortunately, I do love being the only person who knows exactly what I mean and the hidden meaning behind everything I do.

1 week ago

behind, being, communication, everything, exactly, hidden, hidden meaning, humor, i, individuality, knows, love, mean, meaning, only, person, sarcasm, self-awareness, unfortunately
I am the first person in my bloodline to attempt to become hot, and I can feel my genes fighting me every step of the way.

1 week ago

am, attempt, bloodline, body, body image, every, feel, fighting, gene, hot, humor, i, image, me, person, self-deprecating, step, struggle
I become the most financially irresponsible person in the world the second I step into a Japanese stationary store.

1 week ago

buying, financial, financial irresponsibility, i, impulse, impulse buying, irresponsibility, irresponsible, Japanese, most, person, second, shopping, stationary, stationary store, step, store, world
One day you’ll meet that amazing person who just gets you, and they won’t text you back either.

1 week ago

amazing, back, communication, connection, dating, day, humor, just, meet, misunderstanding, person, relationship, text, texting

For even more funny person quotes, hit next 👇

All funny person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

22 shares on X this month:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

65 shares on Facebook this month:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

55 shares on Discord this month:

Why can’t I explore the dentist’s mouth too?

89 shares on Slack this month:

That moment when you’re reading but realize you forgot to understand.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

You don’t need to be a good listener as long as you’re a good nodder.

40 shares on Messenger this month:

Boyfriends come and go… reply guys stay forever. Against your will, even.

99 shares on TikTok this month:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

41 shares on Threads this month:

Going to the gym for my health and wellbeing? No, I just wanna look good naked.

40 shares on Instagram this month:

Sometimes I read a text and think, “What a psycho.” And then I press send.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

You think you’ve seen gold diggers, until you see a male friend group where only one of them made it.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m broke in Monopoly, and my husband just asked if I want to earn $100.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

This is not what adulthood looked like in the brochure.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

I know this ain’t smart, but that never stopped me before.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

A Bug’s Life” (1998) radicalized me.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If politicians can text my cell phone asking for money, I should be able to text them directly with policy suggestions.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in a well.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,645

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Need to become a tour guide. I’ve just realized it’s the only job I can think of that combines my loves of walking around and knowing more than everyone around me.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

My favorite thing to do is nothing, with no one.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has shared:

Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Your brain needs exercise just as much as your body does. That’s why I think of running everyday.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

I suck at flirting. I’ll be like “is that so?”

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Accidentally punched myself in the face while trying to pull my blanket up, and if that doesn’t accurately describe my life, I don’t know what does.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

Putting sunscreen on kids feels like cardio.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

Betrayal is when you’re holding a baby, and they put their arms out for someone else.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has copied:

Ok. I blinked 182 times. What happens now?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

Wearing shorts and my pale legs screamed at the sensation of sunlight like vampires.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

There is absolutely no excuse for laziness. But if you find one, let me know.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

Today, I’m going to give it my almost.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Seen just now on Threads:

I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Printers are definitely the moody teenagers of the tech world.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Just landed via LinkedIn:

People always love to claim that a celebrity’s death is “unexpected”, but they never actually release the data on which celebrities they expected to die that day.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

Making waves on Telegram:

Talking to animals doesn’t make you crazy, hearing them talk back does.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Trying to spend less time on my phone so I can get back to something I’ve loved since childhood: watching TV.

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