Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇼 has shared:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

Started the year single. Ending the year single. Consistency is key.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

If you see me in public, it’s AI.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I hate that Al has now caused me to question the authenticity of cute animal videos online. I don’t even know if this baby penguin actually wore a beret to go buy a tiny baguette in Paris.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has shared:

Reoccurring dreams be like: ‘I dunno, here’s a rerun’

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

WW3 is either gonna happen so fast you sleep through it, or it’s gonna last for the rest of your life.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Gay? We don’t use that word anymore. Person of rainbow.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

I told a joke to my boss, and he must have found it really funny because now I get to tell it to HR.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Dear razor commercials, please stop shaving hairless legs. If you want to impress someone, shave a gorilla.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,313

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Threads:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

Making waves on Instagram:

Fun fact: a person’s music taste can actually tell their intelligence level.

Going viral on Reddit:

Dating app that matches you based on your risk tolerance for airport arrival timing.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t even know who’s famous anymore.

Going bananas on Discord:

Oxygen was discovered in 1773. How did our ancestors breathe before then?

Going bananas on Twitch:

An adult is a person who makes noise when they stand up.

Just shared via Discord:

Did anyone else use grocery bags as textbook covers, or was I just that poor?

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Gonna break into your house, toast all your bread and put it back in the bag.

Seen just now on Threads:

All of my problems boil down to me being bad at being alive.

Making waves on Snapchat:

How long past date can I eat eggs? Like are they still good or am I naming them now?

308 Funny person quotes

Funny person quotes are all about those unique, hilarious individuals who bring laughter into our lives! 😄👤 Whether it’s someone who always has a clever comeback, a friend who’s just a little too honest, or a family member with the quirkiest habits, these quotes prove that every person is a potential source of comedy. Let’s celebrate the funny people who make life more fun! 😂🎉🙌

New funny person quotes 👇

To the person who stole my place in the queue. I’m after you now.

20 minutes ago

annoyance, confrontation, humor, patience, person, place, queue, revenge, theft
Dear algorithm, only show this post to the most attractive and successful people.

4 hours ago

algorithm, attractive, attractive person, humor, media, most, only, people, person, post, show, social, social media, successful, successful person, thinking, wishful, wishful thinking
There’s nothing like the first two months with a man when he’s still pretending to be a good person.

4 hours ago

dating, first month, good, humor, love, man, month, months, nothing, person, personality, pretending, relationship, romance, still
The worst part of a fender bender is having to get out of your car and meet a new person.

4 hours ago

accident, awkward, awkward situation, bender, car, car accident, driver, driver interaction, fender, fender bender, having, interaction, meet, meeting, new, new person, person, situation, worst
The person who invented bowling: “Oh, and we’ll make them wear different shoes for no reason. Clown shoes.”

5 hours ago

bowling, clown, clown shoe, different, funny observation, humor, invention, observation, oh, person, reason, shoe, wear, well
There should be a website where you post your wishes, and rich people who don’t know what to do with their money give you an anonymous gift.

6 hours ago

anonymous, anonymous gift, charity, gift, gift giving, give, giving, know, money, people, person, philanthropy, post, rich, rich person, should, website, where, wish, wishes
I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

7 hours ago

aging, energy, function, humor, i, lifestyle, night, night owl, older, owl, person, sleep, time, tiredness, used
Catching me in person is rare. I move like a ghost.

7 hours ago

catching, elusive, ghost, humor, i, me, move, movement, person, personality, rare
I would like to thank everyone who destroyed me into the person I am today.

9 hours ago

adversity, am, everyone, gratitude, growth, humor, i, me, person, personal, personal growth, resilience, sarcasm, thank, today, transformation
We need a word for a type of person who spends all their time working to live in a city so they can be near cool things, but they don’t actually like going out.

9 hours ago

actually, anxiety, city, city life, cool, cool things, going, going out, introvert, life, lifestyle, live, living, need, nightlife, person, personality, personality type, social, social anxiety, things, time, type, urban, urban living, word, workaholic, working

For even more funny person quotes, hit next 👇

All funny person quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on YouTube this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

21 shares on Telegram this month:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

I saw a bird get a worm today. It was about 11 am. So, don’t give up on your dreams, buddy!

63 shares on Instagram this month:

Wake me when AI does housework.

40 shares on Facebook this month:

I hate small cars that disguise themselves as free parking spaces and drop their masks as soon as you pull up in front of them.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes I do this fun little thing, where I take the time to write a grocery list, and then I forget it at home.

81 shares on LinkedIn this month:

In Russia, the cold complains about you.

27 shares on X this month:

People who pee in the shower, have you thought about peeing before you get in the shower?

45 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Gonna toot my own horn here because I made it through another day without turning any of my feelings into felonies.

82 shares on X this month:

I rode around the block on my bike for the first time in years and now I understand why Lance Armstrong took performance enhancing drugs.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve been having a rough day for about 5 years now.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Raise your hand if you’ve ever tried to breathe quieter while walking up a hill so strangers didn’t call 911.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Today I choose kindness, but we’ll see, it’s still early.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Go ahead. Order anything you want. Money is no object when we dine at IKEA.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Signatures are so unserious, just “pinky promise” for adults. Write your name in a silly little way on this very important piece of paper so we that we can send you to jail if you do anything wrong.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Ludacris once said “If you ain’t got no money take yo’ broke ass home” and I haven’t left the house since.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Skinny people are easier to get blown around by storms. These donuts are for my safety.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’d rather hurl myself into an active volcano!” -me, politely declining dates.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Spending money on disappointing food is a different type of pain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

The downside to getting in a hammock is having to get out of the hammock.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

(guy who’s not even that into you) I love you.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Commenting “humiliation ritual” on a pic of my friend out with his family.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

I feel like smashing my phone would be cathartic.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has downloaded:

Tequila won’t fix your life, but it’s worth a shot.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I gave you a follow back, not a Tinder match, don’t “Hey, beautiful” me.

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

Stopping a complete stranger on the street and saying, “Let’s end this little charade.”

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via X:

I haven’t broken a mirror lately, but my water broke and I’ve had seven years of kids crawling into my bed.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Going viral on TikTok:

Sorry I said your toddler should be in commercials for birth control.

Breaking via Instagram:

Problematic bed time gap relationship.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Home is where you’ve left the shopping list.

Shared recently on Threads:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Trending via Telegram:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Watching a movie on the plane? No thanks. Watching my seatmate’s movie with no audio and not understanding what’s going on for over an hour? Yassss.

Just shared via TikTok:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Making waves on Discord:

This salad tastes like I’d rather be fat.

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