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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇭 has viewed:

Good morning, especially if they tried to make you go to rehab and you said “no, no, no.”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

When my sister drives, I am NOT passenger princess, I am a survivor.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

Never get in between a girl and her fries. It’s just common sense really.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has viewed:

I have never seen an alcohol company using a drunk person for any advertising, are they ashamed of their customers?

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Don’t give up, we must remain silly.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Does my special place in hell have wi-fi?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Obituaries should have clickbait titles.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has viewed:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1851 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,013

Funny Quotes Topics

14,810

Funny Quotes Images

12,013

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Reported on Threads:

I have no issue with people talking in the morning. But not with me, please!

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Sorry I can’t help you move, my hands are in permanent air quotes.

Going viral on X:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Going viral on Instagram:

Nobody is more stressed than a person who has a lot of interests or passions and is still confused about their career.

Live now on Discord:

“Got milk?” Buddy, I don’t even have self-esteem.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I’m just so lazy because I’m still recovering from the fact that I used to be the fastest sperm.

Just shared via Telegram:

Saw a guy reading a book and writing notes in it. Not enough words in there for ya, bud?

Seen just now on YouTube:

I walked into a holiday party, saw someone else already playing with the dog, and realized they’d stolen my entire social strategy.

Breaking via X:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

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Funny personal matter quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1851 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,013

Funny Quotes Topics

14,810

Funny Quotes Images

12,013

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,429

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just a room full of people asking you to tell them a fun fact about yourself.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Pretending to be a well-adjusted, functioning adult is so exhausting.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

If you put a pizza on top of a pizza, you have two pizzas. But if you stack two lasagnas, then you still have one lasagna.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has copied:

I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Excuse me sir, are you going to finish that existential crisis?

Someone from 🇱🇦 has downloaded:

I like to live life dangerously by occasionally sticking my foot out over the edge of the bed at night.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

Normalize asking if this is an intervention whenever someone invites you over.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Freshly posted on X:

I’ve left my past behind me, so if I owe you money, sorry, I’ve left it behind me.

Making waves on Pinterest:

My daughter’s morning alarm is less to wake her up, and more to warn the rest of us.

Just shared via Slack:

Bought a pair of night vision goggles so that I can easily find the fridge at night without waking my wife.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Told someone I’m as “single as a pringle and as neato as a dorito” and they blocked me immediately.

Just shared via Instagram:

I want to be in Metallica, and they will not let me.

Spotted on Discord:

Auto-correct and I are in a toxic relationship.

Just landed via Telegram:

Some days you just feel like a hotel microwave. You’re here, but you don’t have enough power to actually do anything.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Dating over 40 is like Hide and Seek but no one is looking for you.

Making waves on Twitch:

My mama didn’t raise a quitter, she raised a burnt out perfectionist who is sometimes bludgeoned into settling for mediocrity.

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