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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has downloaded:

And is your “sparkling personality” in the room with us now?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has downloaded:

I don’t usually think about what I say before I say it. I prefer to think about it after I’ve said it, late at night, for the rest of my life.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

Lego better be trying to cure child cancer with how much their shit cost.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Whispering to paramedic before I pass out: save me, but not enough that I have to go to work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has copied:

Absent father sucks, but have you met the final boss, the father who is actually in your life every day but emotionally unavailable, lol.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

I tried counting sheep so I can fall asleep but that got boring, so I started talking to the shepherd instead.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has downloaded:

Off to my crying appointment (therapy).

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1716 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,878

Funny Quotes Topics

14,699

Funny Quotes Images

11,878

2 minutes ago

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Insomniacs who are not afraid of the dark have nighty-night problems but the pitch ain’t one.

Making waves on Reddit:

When someone is in a Christmas eve panic, I always find that “well, maybe you should have thought of that sooner” is a helpful phrase.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Sucking melted cheese off the burger wrapper as God intended.

Going viral on Threads:

Now that I have a standing desk, I’m adding manual labor to my resume.

Going viral on Twitch:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Spotted on X:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not exhausted, you’re just awake. Have a nice day.

Just landed via Messenger:

I’d tell you to go to hell, but I work there and I don’t want to see you every day.

Going viral on Pinterest:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wanna be crazy rich. I’m already crazy, so I’m half way there.

Home » Funny Pet Quotes

181 Funny pet quotes

Funny pet quotes are all about the quirks and hilarious antics that come with having a furry friend! 🐾😂 Whether it’s the dog who thinks he’s a lap dog, the cat who rules the house, or the unexpected chaos they bring, these quotes remind us that life with pets is never dull. Get ready for some serious belly laughs, because pets make everything funnier! 🐕🐈🎉

New funny pet quotes 👇

22 minutes ago
Share →: I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Commentary:
"100% agree! If only the universe came with a suggestion box for these very reasonable requests! 🐾💸🍰🤦‍♂️"
2 hours ago
Share →: Rescuing a cute dog and teaching it how to drive me home from the pub.

Commentary:
Looks like I've found my new designated barker! 🚗🐶🍻
2 hours ago
Share →: I wonder how many calories I can burn petting my cat.

Commentary:
Burning calories, one purr at a time! 🐾💪😺
3 hours ago
Share →: I’ve woken up yet again without an emotional support capybara.

Commentary:
When your morning needs more capybara cuddles: emotional support rodents, where are you? 💤🦔
6 hours ago
Share →: Every morning, the cat watches me make coffee and asks if we can go sit out on the balcony to watch the birds, and every morning I say, yes, of course, let’s.

Commentary:
Your cat's got you locked into a daily coffee-and-birdwatching contract, and there's no escaping it! ☕️🐦😹
7 hours ago
Share →: I’d like to know what my dog is thinking as he watches me try one outfit after another while getting ready for a party.

Commentary:
Your dog is probably thinking, "Why doesn't she just go with my classic 'no clothes' approach? Works every time!" 🐶👗😆
1 day ago
Share →: Cats love to wake you up and go back to sleep. It’s part of their culture.

Commentary:
I'm convinced cats have an alarm clock labeled "human disturbance" ⏰😹🐾
1 day ago
Share →: My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Commentary:
Joining the cult was mandatory, but I got a lifetime supply of purrs and catnip as a perk 😸✨🏡
1 day ago
Share →: Behind every strong, independent woman… is a dog that follows her to the bathroom.

Commentary:
Proof that even strong women can't shake their loyal bathroom buddies 🐾🚪🤣
2 days ago
Share →: I’m a simple girl, really. I just want to watch the sunset, laugh, drink coffee, and read books. I also want a time machine and a pet dragon.

Commentary:
I too crave the simple life: sunsets, coffee, and riding my dragon to the past for discounted lattes 🐉☕️📚✨

For even more funny pet quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny pet quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1716 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,878

Funny Quotes Topics

14,699

Funny Quotes Images

11,878

2 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has bookmarked:

You know you’re getting old when you clean the house to the music you used to go out to.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

I am single, please disturb me!

Someone from 🇧🇳 has downloaded:

Hell hath no fury like a sports bra being applied to a just showered but not 100% dry body.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Waitress: “Do you have any questions about the menu?” Me: “What kind of font is this?

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

If Wonka had a spaghetti factory, I’d get sucked into a marinara river tube so fast.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has bookmarked:

I’m gonna put “CEO of Blockbuster Video” on my resume because who are they gonna call to confirm?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Unloading the dishwasher in the opposite direction just to feel something.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Got an email from my bank saying “is your 401k enough to retire on” and it’s like you are my bank, you know it’s not.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has copied:

I’m just here to make you wish I wasn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Telegram:

That awkward moment when you gently throw your phone onto your bed and it decides to bounce off 3 walls, knock over a lamp, and land on the floor.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

Imagine falling in love with me then finding out I’m a slow walker.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I like when the superheroes that can fly pick up and carry the ones that can’t.

Reported on Reddit:

Just spoke to my wife while the internet was down. She seems nice. She’s a nurse apparently.

Live now on LinkedIn:

They should have made a pool raft that looked like a broken door when Titanic was in theaters. I bet it would have sold millions.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If I were a mouse, I’d say things like “cheesed to meet you”.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sending your selfies to NASA because you’re a star.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

My toxic trait is treating my glasses like they’re not the most expensive thing I wear everyday.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Shared recently on Threads:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

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