The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

The point of life is going to a good restaurant and getting two cocktails with dinner. That’s it.

Commentary:
"Ah, the simple joys of life summed up perfectly! 🍹🍹 Who needs profound existential questions when you can have two cocktails and a good meal?! 🍴😄 #LivingTheDream"

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

It’s normal that my retirement plan is 100% contingent on me finding buried treasure at some point, right?

Commentary:
Absolutely! 🏴‍☠️ That's the spirit! Who needs boring old 401(k) plans when you can have a treasure map and a trusty shovel instead, right? 💰 Just make sure you have a backup plan in case you encounter more "X marks the spot" than actual booty! 😉 #RetirementGoals

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Commentary:
"Ah, the evolution of noodles to pasta and finally to carbs – a enthralling culinary journey from simplicity to sophistication… or shall we say, from childhood delight to adult indulgence! 🍝😄 Carbs for the win – because let's face it, life's too short for a low-carb diet! 🍴🎉"

What's the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it's getting down to business?

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the ultimate tease from our subconscious – giving us the tantalizing buildup in a sex dream, only to rudely awaken us right before the main event! 😏 It’s like a non-consensual cliffhanger from the dream world – talk about a plot twist! 😂 Sweet dreams or blue-balled nightmares? You decide! 🌙✨"

At this point, I'm not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

At this point, I’m not sure if my house is a mess or my mess is a house.

Commentary:
"Living in that fine line between chaos and coziness 🏠🌀 Who knew that the 'lived-in' look could be so versatile? 🤔 #MessyHouseHappyHome"

I'm at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I'd probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

I’m at that point in my life where if a car hit me, I’d probably say thank you to the kind stranger.

Commentary:
"Ah, the perfect blend of gratitude and existential crisis. 🚗😂 Remember, it's always nice to be polite, even when life tries to run you over!"

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Much like lasagna, I’m just held together by cheese at this point.

Commentary:
"Who needs a backbone when you have a layers of gooey, melty cheese holding you up? 🧀💪 It's a brie-lliant way to live life, one cheesy layer at a time! 😄🍝 #CheeseIsTheGlueThatHoldsUsTogether"

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Commentary:
Oh, I can already see it now – "The Chronicles of the Cubicle: The Mysterious Case of the Missing Lunches" 🔍🎬 Who knew office drama could be so riveting? Just wait for the dramatic reenactments and cliffhanger endings!

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

I’m at that point on a Monday where no.

Commentary:
Ah, the classic Monday mood – nope, no thank you, not today! 🙅‍♂️ Let's just hit the fast forward button to the weekend, shall we? 🚀 #MondayBlues #NopeNotToday

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Commentary:
"Life is like bread – starts out fresh and doughy, but sure enough, it gets crusty at some point! 🍞😅 Don't worry, a little butter and optimism can soften even the toughest slices of life! 😉"