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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Cleaning the rocks of the earth one load of my kids’ laundry at a time.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

My brain has too many tabs open and one of them is playing music I can’t find.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Isn’t it odd that “read” is pronounced like “lead”, while “read” is pronounced like “lead”?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

“I’m tired of being forced to eat microplastics. I’m ready for big plastics now.”

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

“Do it scared!” Thanks, but I have done everything scared. When is it my turn to do it calm?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

The dragon with the girl tattoo.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

You should be allowed to call out of work if you have a really bad nightmare.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,501

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Restaurant toilets are dangerous! So many of my dates have gone to use them and vanished.

Just shared via Messenger:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Making waves on Facebook:

As a kid, I was worried about randomly disappearing into the Bermuda Triangle forever. As an adult, I’m wondering how I can actually make that happen.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t call them exes, I call them whys.

Breaking via Instagram:

Getting stoned when you have a cat is awesome because it will just walk in and I’m immediately cracking up. Like, look at this dude, I bloody love this guy.

Making waves on YouTube:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Just shared via Instagram:

I’m blunt because the universe rolled me that way.

Just shared via Reddit:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Just shared via WeChat:

What wine pairs well with the kids being stuck inside during a heat wave?

Just landed via Telegram:

My mom and all her opinions are visiting this weekend.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

25 shares on Reddit this month:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

37 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Let’s lay on the couch together, play on our phones, and ignore each other, babe.

67 shares on Instagram this month:

My recliner and I go way back.

98 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

63 shares on Discord this month:

Unfortunately for everyone, I will keep doing whatever I want.

55 shares on Messenger this month:

Blocking him isn’t enough. I want his favorite sports team to finish last every year for now and forever.

18 shares on Twitch this month:

I found out why my computer keeps freezing. Apparently, I’ve got too many windows open.

100 shares on Twitch this month:

Saying “essentially” is a more sophisticated way of saying “basically.

98 shares on Snapchat this month:

Oftentimes, I like the idea of an activity. The actual doing of said activity, not so much.

30 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

21 folks are currently checking 👀

A thousand curses upon anyone who has ever gone, “Why are you sitting in the dark?” and then flipped the light on without asking.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Maybe her DMs haven’t been working for 2 months.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Some people can start a task and then just finish it instead of trying to do a hundred things at once, like a squirrel on crack.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

November doesn’t have afternoons. It’s just morning until 2 p.m., then night.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Weekends now feel like short commercial breaks in a stressful movie.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I lied. There’s no sex. Can you help me put this fitted sheet on my mattress?

13 folks are currently checking 👀

No, you’re not a “prompt engineer,” you’re a sloperator.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Dating now is basically choosing which red flag you’re willing to tolerate.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I have a lot in common with AI. We occasionally provide incorrect information with a confident tone.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Kinda rude that your reward for struggling through stuff is still dying at the end anyway.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,263

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has bookmarked:

Celery is depressing green water wafers.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

Texting him “Happy New Year” to interrupt his healing process.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m ready to try another planet.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has downloaded:

Somebody needs to get my shit together.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

Is it fall yet? I really can’t suck my stomach in much longer.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

I use subtitles so if I learn anything interesting I can say “I was reading about” instead of “I saw on an episode of Love Island”

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I want someone who will look at me the same way I look at chocolate cake.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has bookmarked:

“I saw your ex!” A very unnecessary piece of information.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on YouTube:

Despite popular opinion, dating apps are NOT for dating. They are for finding people to watch your Instagram story for years and years.

Just shared via Facebook:

A song that hits so hard it makes you want a cigarette.

Going viral on Snapchat:

Straight man stuns they/them by ordering in fluent woke.

Just shared via Pinterest:

The problem with leading by example is that no one pays attention.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

You can get addicted to a certain kind of swagness.

Making waves on Slack:

My mayor is Muslim, my bagels are Jewish, my Dior is Christian.

Spotted on YouTube:

I feel like Mario has more raw prowess, but Luigi is probably the more sensual lover.

Trending via Snapchat:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

A cheat code to adulting is to always have something to look forward to, no matter how small or big.

Going bananas on Snapchat:

Nothing bad can happen while you’re under a blanket. Just remember that.

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