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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

I wanted to sleep it off, but insomnia said, “Not tonight, buddy.”

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Once married, the woman takes over the entire closet and the man stores everything he owns in his left cargo pocket.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

No one told me adulting would involve trying to avoid so many scams.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Can someone please fix the algorithm of my life?

Someone from 🇦🇿 has bookmarked:

Wake me when AI does housework.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Some days you’re the bat, some days you’re the ball.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Ever look at someone and think you could spend the rest of your life saying “What?” to this person?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

Not really into dating right now, but very into flirting, and that’s where things get complicated.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,422

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I want a hot body, but I also want hot wings.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Going viral on TikTok:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball isn’t for throwing at people who stress you out?

Seen just now on Instagram:

Told my boss I was going to the bathroom but didn’t say which one. Now I’m at home.

Shared recently on Discord:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Broadcasted on Threads:

“Just circling back on this.” – “Take another lap.”

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My son put his dish in the sink so I rushed him to urgent care.

Trending via Twitch:

I find it extremely hard to believe that you’re rolling on the floor laughing.

Trending via Telegram:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Spotted on Slack:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

773 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,935

Funny Quotes Topics

13,908

Funny Quotes Images

10,935

Updated

46 minutes ago

Users Online

3,423

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

Brain, I know you’re trying hard, but you are not doing a good job.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

I suspect that you don’t lose weight during sport because of the exercise, but because you can’t eat anything during this time.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has shared:

An email so annoying, you wanna return the computer to the store.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

If you want to make your mother proud, make her my mother-in-law.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

The year I was born, getting a little far on that little scrolly thing.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I have no desire to work now. I had five days off in a row where I dined at a feast and was entertained at a cinema. I have flown too high to return to a laptop.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

Does anyone else stare at the dead body in movies to see if you can catch them breathing?

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

50 is the new 30. Because it takes 50 bucks to buy what 30 used to.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Messenger:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Making waves on Twitch:

Just had a salad but it didn’t make me laugh like women in stock photos.

Making waves on X:

Twitter is the only place where well-articulated sentences still get misinterpreted. You can say “I like pancakes,” and somebody will say, “So you hate waffles?”

Just shared via WeChat:

Dear predictive text, I am tired of sending people “Thanksgiving” when they send me a recipe or directions.

Seen just now on Discord:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Making waves on X:

They should make statues of regular people, like you’re walking through the park and there’s a statue of your friend Jeff.

Freshly posted on X:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Trending via Discord:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Going viral on Instagram:

Forget mini pizzas. I want one so big it needs a forklift to rotate it.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

I will selflessly protect my family from a life of diabetes by eating all the sweets myself.

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