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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇬 has downloaded:

I believe in annoyed at first sight.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

I like how people say “travel safely” like I’m the one flying the plane.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

Whoops, accidentally said I couldn’t make it before they even said the date.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has shared:

The worst thing you can do when you notice your kids are playing nicely together is telling them that they’re playing nicely together.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Apparently, stress balls are not supposed to be thrown at people who are stressing you out.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

If you think one of my posts is about you, it isn’t. Except this one.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has copied:

Having teens is fun because they demand their independence but then turn right around and ask you for $20.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has viewed:

Sometimes a little rudeness to establish that you don’t fancy nonsense is really important.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

My boyfriend moved in with me straight from Hotel Mama. In a way, I’m now a single parent.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

Not only do I turn down my radio to find a house or a parking spot, but I also take off my sunglasses to hear someone better.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,961

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,454

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is: don’t do that!

Spotted on YouTube:

Imagine hating me and I’m just over here trying to remember how to spell “definitely”.

Live now on Twitch:

Crazy that caffeine has no short or long-term negative side effects. Just a super drug from God.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Still holding out hope that these intrusive thoughts are just gas.

Reported on Threads:

Student life is all about convincing your parents that you are studying, convincing your friends that you are not, and convincing yourself that you’ll study from tomorrow.

Just landed via Threads:

How would someone cancel an appointment at a sperm bank? Do you just call them and say you can’t come?

Trending via Discord:

There’s no reason to be bored flying on an airplane. Use the time to tell the person next to you your entire life story.

Reported on Discord:

Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Just shared via Slack:

When they ask “how was your weekend?” answer “better than yours” and maintain eye contact.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Interpretive dance is the best way to answer stupid questions.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1799 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,961

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,961

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

Sharpening pencils at the bin was the biggest link-up.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Dear people who talk on speakerphone out in public. Everyone around you hates you.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

89% of the time when my husband tells me I look great, what he really means is, “We needed to leave five minutes ago.”

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

My spirit animal is that bird that knocks itself unconscious flying into windows.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has viewed:

When the devil couldn’t reach me, he made my brain my biggest enemy.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

We should make a new internet that’s as hard to use as the old internet was, so anyone that’s too stupid to have used the internet 20 years ago can’t get on it.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

Whoever first said, “I’m in a pickle,” must have had the weirdest day.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

When buying presents I like to think, what would Jesus have got you? So yeah, enjoy your fish sandwich.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has copied:

Canadians are nice because they’re close to Santa.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Threads:

When you’re sad, find two equally sad friends and form a cryangle.

Seen just now on X:

My boyfriend is mad at me because I keep replying with a fire extinguisher emoji to every girl that comments with a flame emoji on his pictures.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Whoops, lost myself for about eight years there.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

The devil is keeping him alive to avoid spending eternity with him in hell.

Live now on Pinterest:

I’m bringing back “holy moly” and nobody can stop me.

Going viral on Reddit:

My addiction to buying things I don’t need started at the school book fair.

Just landed via YouTube:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Family fistfights brought to you by Monopoly.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The first step to recovery is addiction.

Just landed via Facebook:

I wish there was a nicer way to say “my natural tendency to spot patterns is making me feel very uncomfortable about you”.

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