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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

There’s a word in modern Hungarian slang, egérmozi, which describes watching films (or shows) on your phone. It means “mouse cinema”.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

If a dog growled at me, I would try to understand where they’re coming from.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

Interesting people are my favorite endangered species.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

I’m changing the game. I’m starting to thank people from the top of my heart.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Lazy is such an ugly word. I prefer the term selective participation.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The way my phone’s facial recognition pretends not to recognize me, you’d think I dated it.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

This entire month could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Snapchat:

I’ll be like “it is what it is” and almost vomit from anxiety.

Live now on WeChat:

Since the beginning of time itself, people have been wondering, what the hell is going on?

Just shared via Snapchat:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Just landed via Threads:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Going viral on YouTube:

Your 20s are for lusting after furniture you can’t afford actually.

Making waves on Reddit:

A fitness trainer showed me the proper way to inhale and exhale and then got pissed when I told her she had nice breaths.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Spotted on Snapchat:

When I was a kid, we still ate noodles. Then at some point we ate pasta. Today, we only eat carbs.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Not now, I’m busy doing tax crimes on my abacus.

Spotted on YouTube:

A fun thing to do at work is call in sick and stay home.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,902

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

Updated

10 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

There’s not gonna be a civil war. None of us can afford to take that much time off work.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Microdosing bungee jumping by bending over to pick up a hair tie.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has viewed:

Computer dating is fine, if you’re a computer.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Dear deodorant manufacturers, please stop writing “72h” on your products. There are people who believe that. And they sit next to me on the bus. Always. All of them!

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

Seems like being an asshole is a full-time job for some.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I will always be hotter than everyone who hates me.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Blocking people isn’t enough. I need their favorite TV show to get cancelled.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Just shared via Discord:

I don’t hate you, but I hope you run out of hot water before you’re finished your shower.

Trending via Snapchat:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Spotted on Discord:

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk to your lock calmly. Because communication is key.

Freshly posted on Threads:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Reported on YouTube:

Friendly reminder that someone having a different opinion about a movie than you is a direct attack on you as a person and you should take it very personally.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Going viral on Threads:

If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.

Just shared via Facebook:

It was so hot today, I thought I was going to be cremated.

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