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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

I will not stop replying with gifs. I am a Millennial, it’s my birthright.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

The part right before bench pressing when you’re laying down but not lifting is so good.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

Too many toilets have automatically flushed underneath me for me not to have reservations about self-driving cars.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

Fall in love? I can barely fall asleep.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Seeing a beautiful woman drink her beer is like witnessing an angel take flight.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re always sleepy unless you’re trying to get to sleep.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has shared:

Never in the history of calming down has anyone calmed down after being told to calm down.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I have a photographic memory, but I’ve run out of film.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I’m not saying I need glasses. But today I watched a bunny in a meadow until it flew away.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,431

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on WeChat:

Having a good heart has done nothing but made me look stupid.

Spotted on Discord:

Wish my metabolism worked as fast as my anxiety.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

“Stalking”. God forbid I have access to public information and know how to utilize my resources.

Just shared via Threads:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Live now on Slack:

You’re an adult. You can do what you want. Wait…You have kids? Never mind.

Just shared via Reddit:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

At my funeral, sit me up so I can see who’s talking to my man.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Halloween pumpkins look even scarier if you just use the ones from last year.

Making waves on Instagram:

The only way the climate is going to change is if it first admits it has a problem, there’s really nothing we can do.

Breaking via Messenger:

I just tried to poach an egg and I now understand why Eggs Benedict is $23

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11 Funny receipt quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

807 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,969

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,969

Updated

12 minutes ago

Users Online

3,450

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has viewed:

If you ever need me, call me any time, day or night, and I’ll return your call when I get around to it.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

No more relationships for me; the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

Pirate: walks the plank. Someone’s dad: Is this teak?

Someone from 🇲🇪 has viewed:

I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

To accommodate the size of my wife’s new water bottle, we’ve replaced the passenger seat of her car with a cupholder.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

Tourists love to think that they are not like other tourists.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I remember when the only in-flight movie choices were either you watched or you didn’t.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I love when dudes are named Guy. Like, yeah. Exactly.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

I don’t want to brag but I found a recipe online, and then within three weeks not only made the recipe, but closed the tab on my browser.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Sometimes I say something so embarrassing I even impress myself.

Trending via Threads:

Currently helping my husband look for his $20 I spent yesterday.

Shared recently on Twitch:

“Would you like to check your account balance?” God no. My balance is none of my business.

Reported on Telegram:

Back to work at last! I couldn’t sleep for sheer anticipation.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I’m really hoping money falls from the sky this week, or else I’m doomed.

Going viral on Telegram:

Don’t worry, nobody noticed the weird thing you did. They’re too busy with the weird thing you said.

Going viral on Discord:

Oh good. Another day.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Breakfast is the most important beer of the day.

Trending via Snapchat:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

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