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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

People don’t get slapped enough with empty gloves these days.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I wonder how many new moms try to pick out a unique name for their baby only to later learn it’s the name of an antidepressant.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

People who live alone should get one practice conversation before they have to speak out loud for the first time that day.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has downloaded:

Stop animal testing! Use my ex!

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

I was actually about to do a workout when the couch threw itself protectively under me.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

You look like you can go as yourself for Halloween.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The answer is always no, I did not get enough sleep.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

You say “multitask” like it’s a good thing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Facebook:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

Just landed via Messenger:

My husband and I are doing a workshop. He works and I’ll shop.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

To the knife wielding psycho who walked in on me in the shower; I’m sorry you had to see that.

Making waves on Twitch:

Tell me I’d look good in a potato sack or lose me forever.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Nothing more dangerous than an ignorant man who thinks he is a genius.

Spotted on Slack:

I embarrass myself in front of myself.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Imagine not sighing when you think about your life.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Look away from your laptop for 1 second, and MS Teams will say you left the country.

Seen just now on Twitch:

The human brain is great. It works from the second you are born and stops as soon as you start liking someone.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2334 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,496

Funny Quotes Topics

15,197

Funny Quotes Images

12,496

Updated

23 minutes ago

Users Online

3,449

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I get so crabby when strangers waste my time which is unfair to them because I waste almost all of my own time to begin with.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has viewed:

Kids don’t love anything as much as they love arguing with each other.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

All right everyone, line up alphabetically according to your height.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Geometry is a scam. What do you mean “prove it’s a triangle”? Just look at it.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

Christmas bonus so small you have to call your bank and ask “is it in yet?”

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

To all of you who have never tried blindfold archery: You don’t know what you’re missing!

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via YouTube:

Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Sex is cool, but have you ever had garlic bread?

Trending via Reddit:

Vote for me and I will halve the calories in chocolate.

Just landed via Snapchat:

If I were God, I’d tell everyone that I created the animals and that I don’t know what happened after that.

Making waves on Messenger:

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

Spotted on Twitch:

When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

Freshly posted on Discord:

Wearing white pants today, so it’s really just a matter of time before I spill something on myself.

Making waves on Twitch:

Why is it called “free time” when I use it to spend all my money?

Trending via Telegram:

I’m so good at sleeping that I can do it with my eyes closed.

Reported on LinkedIn:

You gotta wonder why they just don’t make all bread garlic bread.

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