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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Adulting is when you realize that all you need is a home, stable income and a peaceful partner.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

If reports from this daisy are accurate, she loves me not.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Why do Marvel movies need 3 hours to accomplish what The Powerpuff Girls did in 11 minutes?

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

There are two types of people in the world, those who have to go to Walmart, and those who get to go to Walmart.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has bookmarked:

Imagine how loud a centipede would be if they wore tiny little flip flops.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

Blocking isn’t enough, I hope your pillow never has a cold side.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has copied:

Nothing is more awkward than trying to tell an online joke to offline people.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has copied:

Ask your doctor if it’s right for you to eat oranges and pretend they’re planets and you’re a Greek god.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

909 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,071

Funny Quotes Topics

14,009

Funny Quotes Images

11,071

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,448

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

Did you know electronics need smoke to work? Once the smoke comes out of them, they stop working.

Just shared via X:

My running speed is very slow because the Discman wasn’t allowed to shake in the past.

Spotted on Discord:

The shower is the only one who gets turned on when I’m naked.

Just landed via Telegram:

Potato chips ARE vegetables! I exclaim as I tear open the third bag.

Live now on Snapchat:

I just sneezed my wife awake from a nap so any discussion about renewing vows is on hold for a bit.

Seen just now on Pinterest:

I just learned the professional way to say “I told you so”: “This was identified early on as a likely outcome.”

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

Just landed via Twitch:

If an ice cream truck has its music on, are you supposed to pull over and let it pass like an ambulance?

Trending via Instagram:

The closer you are to nature, the further you are from idiots.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The list of women who haven’t slept with me is really impressive.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology think time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

909 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,071

Funny Quotes Topics

14,009

Funny Quotes Images

11,071

Updated

39 seconds ago

Users Online

3,430

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

The good old days, when you didn’t have to charge your watch and it didn’t constantly remind you how fat you were.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has downloaded:

Hmm, that’s a bit too harsh. Let me put “lol” at the end of it.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I honestly have no idea what a vitamin is. It’s in a banana but it’s also the sun? Sure.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Ever woken up, kissed the person sleeping next to you and felt glad to be alive? I just did, so I won’t be catching this train again.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Every man’s biggest fear is trying a new barber.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has bookmarked:

How did they call Deadpool’s dog ‘Dogpool’ when ‘Deadpoodle’ was right there?

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

If you think I’m rude, you should hear the voices in my head.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

People who shower at night are bold enough to assume tomorrow’s even happening.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Everyone who dramatically ‘quits’ social media is back in 48 hours like it was just a trial separation.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on X:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Shared recently on Instagram:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Making waves on Twitch:

Googling what ASAP means, and having a panic attack.

Making waves on Threads:

I used to look for monsters under the bed. Today I know they are behind some people’s fake smiles.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Shark tooth necklaces are the perfect accessory if you want to look tough but also tell the world, “I’ve been to a gift shop.”

Going viral on Snapchat:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Just landed via Instagram:

Never argue with an idiot. They will drag you down to their level and beat you with experience.

Reported on Pinterest:

My new pajamas have no pockets. I don’t want to hear your problems.

Trending via YouTube:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

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