1477 Funny relationship quotes

• Women will brag about their intuition, and then date a DJ.

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  1 hour ago

  brag, date, dj, humor, intuition, irony, relationship, woman, women

• Everybody boo’d up, and I’m getting treated like celery on a hot wing plate.

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  1 hour ago

  boo, celery, food, getting, hot, hot wing, humor, jealousy, plate, relationship, treated, wing

• Single introverts be like, “If it’s meant to be, my future love will simply teleport into my living room.”

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  14 hours ago

  future, future love, humor, introvert, living, living room, love, meant, relationship, room, simply, single, teleport

• I wonder how biology explains that pain in your chest you get when you found out your partner cheated on you.

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  14 hours ago

  biology, cheating, chest, emotion, found, heartbreak, i, pain, partner, relationship, wonder

• The female ability to be able to guess exactly which girl it is out of his 740 following.

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  14 hours ago

  ability, able, exactly, female, female intuition, following, girl, guess, guessing, humor, intuition, media, relationship, social, social media

• Lack of sex really gets you mad at every little thing for no reason.

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  19 hours ago

  anger, every, frustration, humor, lack, lack of sex, little, mad, mood, mood swings, reason, relationship, sex, swings, thing

• Asking women for sex just to end the conversation.

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  1 day ago

  asking, communication, conversation, dating, end, flirting, humor, joke, just, relationship, sex, woman, women

• Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

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  1 day ago

  betrayal, getting, gray, humor, keys, marriage, pants, personal, powerful, prediction, psychic, relationship, tell, things, wife

• Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

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  2 days ago

  dating, hell, humor, i, know, relationship, spot, take, woman, women

• Marriage is so scary. What do you mean I can’t have my own room?

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  3 days ago

  commitment, fear, humor, i, marriage, mean, own, relationship, room, scary

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