I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

I have a complicated relationship with push/pull doors.

Commentary:
Ah, the eternal struggle of push-pull doors – the ultimate test of our IQ! 🚪💭 It's like a never-ending dance between you and the door, with one step forward and two steps back. Just when you think you've got it figured out, it sneaks up and surprises you! Maybe we should start a support group for fellow "door challenged" individuals! 😂🤦‍♂️🚶‍♀️ #PushPullPro

I'm sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

I’m sorry, but I already have an A.I. boyfriend.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't go out with you. My heart belongs to a virtual man who never interrupts me when I'm talking 😏💔🤖 #RelationshipGoals"

Gotta find someone youโ€™re thermostatically compatible with. You canโ€™t be a 74 dating a 62.

Gotta find someone youโ€™re thermostatically compatible with. You canโ€™t be a 74 dating a 62.

Commentary:
"Relationships are like room temperatures – it's all about that perfect balance! 🌡️❤️ So remember, it's all fun and games until someone turns up the heat or cranks the AC! 😂 #ThermostaticallyCompatible"

Cupid's arrow should have just killed me instead.

Cupid’s arrow should have just killed me instead.

Commentary:
"Looks like Cupid missed the mark on this one! 😅💘 Who knew love could be so hazardous? Maybe next time Cupid should consider switching to a Nerf bow and arrow for safety reasons. 🏹 #ValentinesDayGoneWrong"

Iโ€™ll find a cell mate before Iโ€™ll ever find a soulmate.

Iโ€™ll find a cell mate before Iโ€™ll ever find a soulmate.

Commentary:
Oh, searching for a cell mate over a soulmate, huh? 🤣 Who needs love when you can have a bunk buddy, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ Just make sure to keep those prison phone calls to a minimum! 🤪 #CellMateGoals

Relationship status: he escaped.

Relationship status: he escaped.

Commentary:
"Relationship status: he escaped 🏃‍♂️ Maybe I should start using handcuffs instead of just tying knots in the relationship 🤣 #RunawayLover"

Being single for Valentine's Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Being single for Valentine’s Day is way better than being in the wrong relationship.

Commentary:
"Who needs a bouquet of wilted roses and awkward dinners when you can have all the chocolates to yourself and binge-watch your favorite TV show instead? 🍫💁‍♀️ #SingleAndWinning"

Commenting โ€œwhat about us?โ€ on all Valentine pics this year.

Commenting โ€œwhat about us?โ€ on all Valentine pics this year.

Commentary:
"Preparing for Valentine's Day like: 🤣💔 Tag yourself as the ultimate Valentine's Day meme! 🙋‍♂️🙋‍♀️ #WhatAboutUs #ValentinesDay"

I donโ€™t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

I donโ€™t flirt, I just say weird things and hope something sticks.

Commentary:
"Flirting level: Expert in awkwardness 🤪 Who needs pickup lines when you've got a collection of bizarre statements? Just throwing spaghetti at the wall and seeing what sticks! 🍝😅 #AwkwardlyCharming"

โ€œAre you single?โ€ No, Iโ€™m in a hallucinationship.

โ€œAre you single?โ€ No, Iโ€™m in a hallucinationship.

Commentary:
"Relationship status: Currently in a committed Hallucinationship. It’s complicated, but at least the arguments are never dull! 🤪💑 #HallucinationshipGoals"