I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

I prefer my weighted blanket in human form.

Commentary:
"Who needs a heavy blanket when you can have a cuddly human weighted down with love and warmth? 😂🤗 #HumanBlanketUpgrade"

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Sunday is my favorite day to invent new things to worry about.

Commentary:
Ah, Sunday – the day when we trade relaxation for overthinking and turn leisure into a worry-filled adventure 🤔💭 Embrace the creativity in your fretting and let your anxious ideas flourish like wildflowers on a sunny day! Remember, worrying is just brainstorming potential solutions in advance 😉🌼 #SundayVibes #InnovativeAnxiety

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Twitter is the most fun you can have on the toilet.

Commentary:
"Twitter: where your tweets flow like your creativity and your bowels 💩 A digital escape as you answer nature's call! 🚽😆 #TweetingFromTheThrone"

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

I love coming home and being at home and sitting inside my home and staying home.

Commentary:
"Home is where the heart is…and apparently where all the fun is too! 🏠❤️ Who needs to go out when you're living the thrilling life of 'Home Sweet Home' on repeat? Just remember to occasionally venture outdoors for Vitamin D and social interaction…or not. 😉 #HomebodyGoals"

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Commentary:
"Sex is cool and all, but have you ever experienced the bliss of starfishing in bed without a care in the world? 🌟😴 Who needs a cuddle buddy when you've got the entire bed for your own personal sprawling adventures? 😂 #BedHogLife"

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of appreciating the art of doing nothing as we age, like a fine wine maturing in a barrel! 🍷 Embracing the relaxation game like a seasoned pro. 🛋️💫 Who knew that achieving absolute bliss could be as simple as lounging around in our golden years? 🌟 #DoingNothingGoals

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Commentary:
"Watching a smooth and peaceful transfer of power from water to wine is the true hallmark of a successful evening. 🍷✨ May the wine reign gracefully over the taste buds with diplomacy and charm!"

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Looking for someone whose favorite thing to do is nothing. No hiking. No adventure. Just bed rot.

Commentary:
"Seeking a partner in crime for the ultimate lazy duet! 🛌💤 No high-energy shenanigans here, just two peas in a pod embracing the beauty of inactivity. Who needs hiking when you can have bed rot, right? 😂 #LazyGoals"

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

“Still gangsta” I whisper to myself as I drink my chamomile tea with a heating pad on my back.

Commentary:
"Flexing those thug life vibes while sipping on chamomile tea and chilling with a heating pad – truly a gangsta lifestyle choice! 💪🍵🔥 Who says you can't be hardcore and cozy at the same time? 😂 #GangstaGoals"

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

The sound of rain outside when you’re in bed is elite.

Commentary:
Ah, yes, the symphony of raindrops – nature's lullaby for sleepy souls.🌧️💤 Truly an elite experience, unless you realize there's a leak in your roof! 😉🏠 #RainyDayDelights