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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇰 has downloaded:

Feeling like a bug without his rug.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has viewed:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

The only fantasy I have in the bedroom these days is getting 8 hours of sleep.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

You will see blonder children than you would ever think possible at expensive ice cream parlours.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has bookmarked:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has copied:

Every time I see a dog with its head out a window, I know it’s having a better day than I am.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

If someone asks why you’re so pale, simply reply, completely shocked, “You can see me?”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has bookmarked:

I just shaved my legs and man, the next 7 minutes and 34 seconds before it starts growing back is gonna feel amazing.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 19, 2026

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

I love unplanned fun.

Just shared via Threads:

“I can’t wait to go back to bed tonight!” Me, 5 minutes after waking up.

Spotted on Twitch:

What if the universe wasn’t infinite or finite, but a secret third thing?

Broadcasted on Twitch:

Getting a boner because the Lego instructions are telling me what to do.

Going viral on Threads:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Making waves on Facebook:

Doing all of this just to die in the end! LMAO!

Spotted on Messenger:

Not to brag but I gave someone directions and he made it.

Shared recently on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Going “Omgg, that’s crazy,” every time my coworkers talk until it’s time to go home.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Funny restaurants quotes

Funny restaurants quotes serve up a deliciously entertaining blend of humor and food vibes 🍔😂 Whether you’re a foodie, a server, or just love dining out, these witty sayings will tickle your taste buds and have you laughing between bites 🍕😄 Get ready to savor some laughter alongside your favorite meal—because good food tastes even better with a side of humor! 🍟🎉

New funny restaurants quotes 👇

My future husband is very lucky; he will never stay hungry, because I know so many restaurants with delicious food.

8 hours ago

delicious, delicious food, food, food lover, future, future husband, humor, hunger, hungry, husband, i, know, lover, lucky, never, relationship, restaurant, restaurants, stay
Clicked on ‘Make a reservation’ on a restaurant’s page, and it opened FaceTime and started calling them. I cannot stress enough how much I do not want that to happen.

2 months ago

app, app glitch, awkward, awkward moment, call, calling, enough, experience, Facetime, fail, funny incident, glitch, happen, i, incident, moment, much, page, reservation, restaurant, restaurants, started, stress, technology, technology fail, user, user experience, want
I’m fat because I’m full of experiences, and most of those experiences took place at Mexican restaurants.

2 months ago

comedy, experience, experiences, fat, food, full, humor, humor about food, mexican, Mexican restaurant, most, place, restaurant, restaurants, self-deprecating, weight
My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

2 months ago

activity, food, going, humor, just, mexican, Mexican restaurant, relaxation, restaurant, restaurants, routine, self-care
Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

2 months ago

bonsai, bonsai tree, broccoli, challenge, Chinese, Chinese restaurant, chop, dining, dining experience, dishes, eating, eating challenge, experience, feel, fit, food, food joke, humor, i, joke, mouth, restaurant, restaurants, tree, trying
An app where you and your partner swipe left and right on restaurants until there’s a match. No talking, no negotiation. Who’s building this?

2 months ago

activity, app, building, date, fun, fun activity, left, match, negotiation, no talking, partner, restaurants, right, swipe, talking, where

All funny restaurants quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

21 shares on Reddit this month:

When I get filthy rich, I will stay humble by continuing to use grocery bags as bathroom trash bags.

89 shares on Instagram this month:

Adulthood is basically just trying to fall asleep at night and stay awake during the day.

89 shares on Pinterest this month:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

45 shares on Messenger this month:

If you finish every sentence with “as the prophecy foretold”, your coworkers will leave you alone.

80 shares on Telegram this month:

Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

18 shares on Threads this month:

Political ads be like: send us money so we can send you more ads.

31 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Do you mind if I become the object of your desire? No worries if not.

14 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Trying to work outside on a laptop is like sunbathing on a melting ice cube.

53 shares on Reddit this month:

If you watch Home Alone backwards it’s a loving story about a boy that heals two men that were savagely beaten.

64 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Training a cat is very easy. After a few days, you do what she wants.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

“You look nervous” Thanks, I’ve been practicing my whole life.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m at the age where living in the woods and arguing with a raccoon sounds like a peaceful retirement plan.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Offering friendship as a consolation prize for a failed romantic connection attempt is absolutely cruel.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t have time for anything that doesn’t set my soul on fire.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The idea that wisdom teeth are just some random glitch that God forgot to patch, so now we have to pull them out with modern technology, is retarded.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Let’s call it a year. I’ve had enough. Merry Christmas, y’all.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

My parents didn’t raise me to order something expensive when someone else is paying.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Taking screenshots of the screenshots buried in my photo library to ‘bring them to the front.’ It’s not a great system, I admit.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Oh, to be a rich, beautiful woman in her big car, driving to buy overpriced groceries to stock up her breathtaking kitchen in her gorgeous house.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Fun prank: make people study for many years, and then don’t give them jobs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,597

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

Who called it asking the waiter about the specials and not retrieving data from the server?

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

Want to lose weight for the summer? Don’t worry, just check in your luggage at the airport. You’ll never see those pounds again.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

The thief who stole my iPhone could face time.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has bookmarked:

They say sugar can’t fix your problems. Yeah, well, neither can broccoli. At least cake puts in the effort.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has bookmarked:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

I’m so lazy, I let my battles pick me.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

Bluesky honestly feels like a miracle where you take the most annoying people in the world and stick them in a broken elevator together.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has downloaded:

Do you ever hang out with someone else’s family, and you’re like, ooooh, so this is what it’s supposed to be like?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has downloaded:

They say dress for the job you want, but this baby diaper isn’t very comfortable.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

Sometimes I glance over at my boyfriend, and he’s just looking at Google Maps, scrolling around.

Shared recently on X:

I wasn’t made to hustle and bustle. I was made to dilly and dally.

Just shared via WeChat:

Everyone’s gangster until they use a pen that is satisfyingly smooth and fun to write with.

Spotted on TikTok:

If GPT-5 will have ‘Ph.D.-level intelligence’, then GPT-6 will have the intelligence of someone who decided not to get a PhD.

Trending via Discord:

Before Facebook, we would hold people hostage inside our homes by showing them photo albums of our vacation.

Spotted on Discord:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Live now on Facebook:

I hate it when my body decides to get sick. I gave you a vegetable last week, how dare you.

Breaking via Reddit:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Eventually, kids get old enough to see which parent was the problem.

Trending via TikTok:

Two sheep walk into a baaaaa.

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