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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇽 has copied:

There’s nothing that I hate more than a failed nap attempt.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Love is like a bird. Sometimes flying around me but then moving on.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has copied:

Choosing to ignore my strangely symbolic dream because I have a lot going on right now already.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

I don’t understand people who don’t have kids. Imagine having absolutely nobody to blame when you’re late.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

Watching someone else control the computer and doing it differently than you would, is one of life’s greatest challenges.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

My parents think they know me.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Turns out I am the autistic one at “movie night,” who thought you’re supposed to actually watch the movie.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has bookmarked:

I used to judge cat owners for giving in to their pets’ whims too easily, but holy shit, these animals are relentless and would starve themselves to organ failure just because one time, weeks ago, they had a taste of some ‘better’ food.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,238

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Threads:

I’ll be honest. I can’t solve your problems. What I can do is create new, bigger problems that will make your current problems seem quaint by comparison.

Just shared via Snapchat:

If you’re happy and you know it, keep it to yourself. No one likes a braggart.

Breaking via Snapchat:

“Thanks for your payment!” Shut up. I paid that bill against my will.

Going viral on YouTube:

Any day now, there will be a child born and named Labubu.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Don’t worry, better days are coming. They are called Friday, Saturday and Sunday.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Due to inflation, you can now eat food that has been on the floor for up to 7.3 seconds.

Going viral on TikTok:

I love men with a provider fetish.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

If you ever see me running, it’s either away from my problems or towards an ice cream van.

Trending via Pinterest:

My favorite part of socializing is when it’s over.

Spotted on Twitch:

Whoever’s been in charge of the weather for the last few weeks seems to have fallen asleep on the couch with the remote control in their hand.

Funny rituals quotes

Funny rituals quotes bring a hilarious twist to everyday habits and quirky traditions 😂✨ Whether it’s morning coffee routines or odd superstitions, these witty lines capture the charm of our little weirdnesses ☕️🎉 Get ready to laugh and maybe even rethink your own rituals with a smile! 😄🔥

New funny rituals quotes 👇

All funny rituals quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

27 shares on TikTok this month:

The difference between a songbird and a hummingbird is that one of them knows the lyrics.

96 shares on Threads this month:

I’m currently trying not to read anything about carbohydrates after 4pm.

79 shares on Discord this month:

We all need to put the phone down, or it’s over for civilization.

76 shares on X this month:

Do men know they don’t have to keep their clothing until it disintegrates?

83 shares on Telegram this month:

“Your boos mean nothing to me. I’ve seen what you cheer.” Is a goated doctrine. If Rick and Morty gave us anything, it gave us that.

29 shares on Snapchat this month:

Feeling melancholy. Think I’ll have a drink and make things much worse.

52 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Losing jewelry is a different type of hurt.

29 shares on Facebook this month:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

14 shares on Telegram this month:

“Date” is just another word for: Jeez, had I known that before, I would have stayed home.

10 shares on Threads this month:

Centaurs can’t wipe their asses.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s hard to believe that this long, crazy election will finally be over in a few months.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

More dangerous than a lion that roars is a woman gone silent.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I stop myself at least twice a day from posting a status that would make everyone grab popcorn.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

A colon can completely change the meaning of a sentence. For example: Jill ate her friend’s sandwich VS Jill ate her friend’s colon.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Only money has the right to say “you’ll regret losing me”. The rest of you calm down.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not “late”, I’m just very creative with my interpretation of “time”.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Trust my gut? The thing that makes weird gurgling noises immediately when a work meeting goes quiet.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 50s, you now take supplements to help your memory, but you can’t remember if you took them today.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenting is yelling ‘you just had a snack!’ over and over until you give in and throw them another snack.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,256

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇻 has copied:

Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes. Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I trust an insult more than I do a compliment.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has copied:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Rorschach tests are like so easy. Everything’s either a demon or a butterfly and it’s up to you to decide.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has copied:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

I love you to the refrigerator and back.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

I just saw someone on TikTok say that the reason the world didn’t end in 2012 is because Psy turned the Honmoon gold with Gangnam Style.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

When you’re over 40 and a part of your body starts hurting for no reason that is nature sending a “what ya doing?” text.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has bookmarked:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via WhatsApp:

After ten true crime podcasts you start to think you could probably solve a murder. After a hundred you start to think you could probably get away with one.

Spotted on Instagram:

Stretching is not enough. I need to be rolled through a pasta machine.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Anything is free if you can outrun security. The more you know.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

As I get older, I’m understanding why everything needs to be done before 12 p.m.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Working on my harmonica skills so those around me can both hear and feel my depression.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Nobody rots in bed like I do.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here making love.

Just landed via Instagram:

Coke tastes like tapping into your ancient ancestral petroleum reserves, while Sprite tastes like being connected to a big, beautiful energy grid.

Just shared via Reddit:

Did you know that if you listen to any Black Sabbath album backwards, you can hear them singing backwards?

Live now on Slack:

Took a personality test and the results just said “uh-oh”

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