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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Me, with $33 left after paying bills: Let’s see how much a Land Rover costs.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has shared:

Old age is like a glorious, extended long weekend, but you always know Monday’s coming.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

I haven’t worn a trench coat since a random man in his 60s said to me “what are you looking for, detective?”

Someone from 🇳🇱 has shared:

Not sure why I drink anymore. I get the same effect from standing up too fast.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

The best part about your kids being sick is you get to see exactly how shitty you’re going to feel in 48 hours.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I’m trying to quit making sexual innuendos but it’s so hard.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Raisins also have wrinkles and are still sweet.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Love is in the air, but so is the flu. Wash your hands!

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Discord:

My pronouns are she/her and my adjectives are problematic/overwhelmed.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Cashier: Did you find everything? Me: Did you hide something?

Going viral on WeChat:

Netflix needs to stop asking if I’m still watching and start asking if I moved the laundry to the dryer yet.

Just landed via Messenger:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

Just landed via Twitch:

The rule should be: if you can smell the cookout, you’re invited to the cookout.

Going viral on Instagram:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Trending via Threads:

Good morning everyone, who feels like working today? I promise I’ll let you do my job.

Breaking via Facebook:

The incontinent optimist sees the bladder as half empty.

Making waves on Reddit:

Perhaps an evening in the meditation cage will soothe you.

Breaking via Pinterest:

To all the people who ask singles why they are actually single: Please don’t. We have sworn an oath and are not allowed to tell you the secret of our success.

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Funny rituals quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

827 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,989

Funny Quotes Topics

13,933

Funny Quotes Images

10,989

Updated

26 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

We must all do our part for the planet. The other day I unplugged a row of electric cars nobody was using.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

If there is a God and He “loves” us, then explain snakes.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

A Jackie Chan fight scene where he’s in an IKEA warehouse and he fights off dudes with furniture pieces, but by the end he’s accidentally assembled it all into a complete Malm bedroom set.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

They say we learn from our mistakes, that’s why I’m making as many as possible. Soon I’ll be a genius.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has viewed:

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

Twitter is fun because you can tweet about hashbrowns and someone will say you are responsible for genocide.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has downloaded:

Befuddlingly, a palm tree won’t fit in your hand.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

House sitting for friends while they’re out of town. Never knew my buddy kept a diary.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has copied:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If God did not intend for us to eat animals, then why did he make them out of meat?

Trending via Messenger:

My front facing camera got me looking like a failed science project.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Thoughts more intrusive than a 90s sitcom neighbor.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

At some point, my colleagues will manage to get me my own true crime documentary on Netflix.

Just shared via Messenger:

Instead of those cute mini pizzas, they should invent gigantic ones that take four people to carry.

Seen just now on X:

You want me to attend a work meeting? The thing that killed Julius Caesar?

Reported on Telegram:

Girls Just Want To Have Naan

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I am simply too intelligent to be happy.

Trending via Facebook:

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m sorry I said “I look forward to working with you” during our wedding vows.

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