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Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Imagine if every time you stepped into an elevator, it played the “Mission Impossible” theme.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My boss told me to start every presentation with a joke. The first slide was my paycheck.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has downloaded:

I dare you to try and be more single than me.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

Spotify Wrapped isn’t enough, I want an Excel spreadsheet of my listening habits.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

All of humanities problems could be solved with a large meteor.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

I need a chiropractor for my brain.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has downloaded:

Writing ‘thanks.’ instead of ‘thanks!’ so you know I’m mad.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

Today, I used a wire I’ve kept in my box of cables since 2011. Please applaud.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,716

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Eat like your treadmill is watching.

Freshly posted on Discord:

OnlyFans, but it’s elderly women teaching you how to sew, knit, can food, quilt, and some solid recipes. OnlyGrans.

Making waves on Instagram:

Waiting patiently for something good to happen, like that goat in Jurassic Park.

Going bananas on Slack:

They should invent a day where I feel normal.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Can y’all just post your therapist’s advice in the comments so I don’t have to go?

Trending via Pinterest:

Imagine hating me while I’m just over here being lazy and minding my own business.

Going viral on X:

Yeah, Instagram is bad for our mental health, but what about Outlook?

Trending via WhatsApp:

Just paid rent. Now I have a place to starve in.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Making waves on Threads:

Winter is actually awesome because if you put on a couple of movies at 5 p.m., it’s already pitch black and the evening is super long, so it feels like you’re staying up til 2 a.m., but in reality, it’s only 11 p.m. 10/10!

Home » Funny Road Quotes » Page 2

53 Funny road quotes

More funny road quotes 👇

I drive safer when there’s food in my passenger’s seat than when there’s a person sitting there.

0

2 months ago

distracted, distracted driving, drive, driving, driving humor, effect, food, humor, i, passenger, passenger effect, person, road, road safety, safety, seat, sitting
I don’t like people driving fast—that’s the reason why I overtake them.

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2 months ago

driving, humor, i, overtaking, people, reason, road, sarcasm, speed, traffic, why
Nothing says entitlement like a goose family crossing the road.

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2 months ago

animals, crossing, entitlement, family, goose, humor, nature, nothing, road, sarcasm
When I’m behind a slow car, I steer my car a little to the right so the people behind me can see that it isn’t my fault.

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2 months ago

blame, car, car joke, driving, fault, humor, i, joke, little, me, patience, people, rage, right, road, road humor, road rage, sarcastic, slow, traffic
Traffic is the fault of the guy immediately in front of you.

0

2 months ago

commuting, driver, driving, fault, front, frustration, guy, humor, impatience, jam, road, traffic, traffic jam
If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

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2 months ago

activity, arguing, argument, August, dating, fun, fun activity, humor, relationships, road, road trip, start, trip
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

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2 months ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal
Why would I take the high road when I could take the psychopath?

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2 months ago

choice, high, high road, humor, i, personality, psychopath, road, sarcasm, take, why
If you want to complain about my driving at least calm down and get off my hood first.

0

2 months ago

calm, calm down, complain, driving, hood, humor, least, road, safety, sarcasm, want
Stupid cow blocking the road. HOW DAIRY!

0

2 months ago

animal, blockage, blocking, cow, dairy, humor, pun, road, stupid

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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on Telegram this month:

Having a crush on someone as an adult feels like a humiliation ritual.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

So, technically, Moses is the first man to download files from the cloud using a tablet.

52 shares on Messenger this month:

I think one quality that makes me incredibly attractive is that I keep my mouth shut when I have nothing to say.

59 shares on YouTube this month:

Kinda in the mood to let my feelings impair my judgement.

86 shares on TikTok this month:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

19 shares on X this month:

Our parents used to drop us off at school with no water bottle, no phone and no snacks, yet somehow we survived.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

Being gracefully insane is the secret to staying somewhat sane in an insane world.

25 shares on Snapchat this month:

When I die and y’all go through my search history, you’ll be disappointed to find mostly just definitions for very common words that I wasn’t sure I was using correctly.

20 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Things I hate about group work: The group.

54 shares on YouTube this month:

If a baby comes out feet first, technically it wears its mom as a hat.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇺🇾 has viewed:

The price of groceries has gotten me thinking about what acorns taste like.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

Getting older just means that you have to start eating all the sad foods.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

This call, should’ve been a message in a bottle I never found.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

This post ain’t gonna like itself, damn.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

When a man is a good cook, that cancels out like three red flags.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has shared:

Just got chills imagining what Tom and Jerry could accomplish if they just worked together for once.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

If you ever need me, I’m always just a couple missed calls and text messages away.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has downloaded:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying works.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has copied:

Imagine if every time you ate a grape you’d hear a soft voice whisper “that was my son…”

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Why spend like $300 Dollars on a pair of shoes? Do you know how many chicken nuggets you can buy with that money?

Just shared via X:

I want a girlfriend so hot that people walking down the street know that I am funny.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Watching true crime documentaries so I can learn from their mistakes.

Seen just now on YouTube:

If you can’t say anything nice, say something funny.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Just landed via WeChat:

“Girls just want to have fun!” No, I want one million dollars cash.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Sex is cool, but have you ever made peace with the horror of being alive.

Spotted on Discord:

I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night.

Activity Log ✨

53 Funny road quotes

More funny road quotes 👇

All funny road quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

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