Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇱 has copied:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has bookmarked:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has downloaded:

I’m fairly certain the person who put the first “r” in February also decided how to spell Wednesday.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

If we start flirting now, we could be in matching pajamas on a Christmas card before the holidays.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has copied:

Before you call me an idiot consider this: I know!

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

Congrats on hitting your Q3 numbers. Here’s an even bigger Q4 number that you’ll be fired for missing.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m only awake because my coffee needs me.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

God, I wish I had enough money to discover it doesn’t make me happy.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has viewed:

Every few months, the urge to eat buttered toast will possess you.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Why do fish stink so much even though they bathe their whole lives?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

Just shared via Slack:

At some point in life, you graduate from Family Guy to American Dad.

Just shared via Reddit:

Life is like a box of chocolates. More expensive than I was expecting.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Nutrition labels should include an “What if I ate the whole thing” section.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Eating cookies left for Santa because the cowboy was a no show.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Making waves on Twitch:

If you order a pizza with veggies on it, you can tell people you had a salad.

Shared recently on YouTube:

Can’t. Just put my hair in a bun and that’s just about enough exercise for today.

Going viral on WeChat:

The world would be a better place if mosquitoes sucked fat instead of blood.

Freshly posted on Slack:

“Careful. It’s slippery!” – Everyone, after you’ve already slipped.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

90 shares on Twitch this month:

When life hands me lemons, I put them in the fridge next to the bagged salad I’m also not going to eat.

49 shares on TikTok this month:

Tech bro obsessed with “storytelling,” but hasn’t read a book in the last 5 years.

55 shares on Facebook this month:

My coffee and I used to be hot. Now, we’re just bitter.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

After a lot of experience, I can conclude that one can never actually cross “washing dishes” off the to-do list.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

The sexual tension between me and not finishing the last 2 episodes of a drama.

37 shares on Instagram this month:

I have the bruises of a much more active person.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Just because I’m up sharing posts at 7 a.m. doesn’t mean I’m up. Don’t call my phone.

14 shares on Slack this month:

I hate when I offer someone food and they accept it.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

The first time I heard “big naturals,” I thought it referred to major outdoor landmarks such as the Grand Canyon or the Great Barrier Reef.

73 shares on YouTube this month:

Girl math is avoiding shipping costs by buying more.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Wealthy person who has no problems and also meditates sometimes: Meditation is my secret weapon.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Dua Lipa is a fantastic singer AND Mario’s advice to Luigi when he wants to get on a slightly higher platform.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve never found a “Remember Me” checkbox that works. Nothing remembers me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Eating Halloween candy and putting up my Christmas tree because nothing matters anymore.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Beer is like weed for people with jobs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Finally my winter fat has gone. I now have spring rolls.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,540

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇷 has copied:

People who quit their jobs before having a backup job lined up ain’t scared of nothing.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Blocking isn’t enough. I wanna throw tomatoes at you like you’re a medieval criminal.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

Working your entire life so you can ‘enjoy’ a couple of years when you’re close to death is the biggest scam of all time.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Follow your heart, but take your brain with you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has bookmarked:

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has shared:

My youngest had a mandatory drugs and alcohol lecture today at school, and he still can’t mix a proper drink.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

No one is shocked when a defibrillator doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Animals be 15 minutes old and already know what to do.

Just shared via Telegram:

It-is-what-it-is-ing my way through the collapse of civilization.

Going viral on Messenger:

We’d never met, or even spoken, but I could tell just from gazing into her pale blue eyes I had stepped on her toe.

Going viral on YouTube:

Contrary to what we currently believe, we don’t choose afternoon naps. Afternoon naps choose us.

Just landed via X:

Commenting “what about us?” on all Valentine pics this year.

Spotted on Telegram:

A good French onion soup will have you acting like a pervert.

Making waves on Reddit:

You know it’s a fancy restaurant when you have to point at what you want on the menu because you can’t pronounce the name.

Going viral on Instagram:

I like to just appear out of nowhere and say, “this looks like a job for a binder clip.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Don’t pretend to be someone you’re not. It will never bring you true happiness or fulfillment. Also, it’s a felony.

Trending via Facebook:

Pet owners be like “this is my pet Snoopy, but their nicknames are Booboo and Thicky Boy!”

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