Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

All of my fitness goals are within reach, but unfortunately, so are the crisps.

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Sorry, I’m poor, I can’t afford to pay attention.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

When a lady compliments your facial hair, have the goddamn decency to compliment hers.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has bookmarked:

If you get hangovers, it’s because you drank the beers with impure intentions and heavy karmic debt.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Deciding if I should heal or just give up and go completely insane.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has copied:

Sex is great, but have you ever started slowly picking up speed after sitting in a traffic jam?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

At the art museum walking slower and observing more than anyone else.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has downloaded:

I was in Paris with a boyfriend once and he lit a candle in Notre Dame in order to ask God to raise the price of Bitcoin.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has shared:

Me, gently telling my kids that I ate the rest of the ice cream: Your dad ate the rest of the ice cream.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,707

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

The modern condition is mostly trying to do things on your own that people have historically achieved with a large support network, and wondering why you’re tired all the time.

Spotted on TikTok:

Taylor Swift should write a song about people who don’t return their shopping carts to the corrals.

Just shared via Facebook:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Spotted on Pinterest:

Aliens are coming to Earth, people are going to the Moon, and I am still pushing on a door that says pull.

Broadcasted on Reddit:

Panda bears are proof that it’s okay to be kind of an idiot as long as you’re super adorable.

Seen just now on Threads:

How many sit-ups do I have to do before I get a six-pack? Please say 5.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Worst part of a corporate job is no tips. Someone should slip you a $20 if you write a killer email.

Just landed via Instagram:

Everyone has these three colleagues: The one who is always cold. The one who is always hungry. The one who is always tired. I am everything in one.

Just shared via Pinterest:

My parents often told me I would lose my own head if it wasn’t screwed on and now that I’m an adult, I want to know what tools I need to have it screwed off.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Big fan of taking a huge bite and then nodding while I chew. You make an excellent point, food.

39 Funny sandwich quotes

Funny sandwich quotes add a delicious twist to your day! 🥪😂 Whether it’s about the perfect layering or the joy of a good bite, these quotes celebrate the humor and satisfaction of everyone’s favorite handheld meal. Get ready for a laugh that’s as satisfying as your next sandwich! 😄🍞

New funny sandwich quotes 👇

Never underestimate the healing power of a grilled cheese sandwich.

8 hours ago

cheese, comfort, comfort food, food, grilled, grilled cheese, healing, healing power, humor, never, power, sandwich, underestimate
Hi, I’m online. Would you like to argue for an hour about whether a hotdog is a sandwich?

3 weeks ago

argue, argument, conversation, debate, food, food debate, hi, hotdog, hour, humor, online, sandwich
Legend says that when you’re overwhelmed and on the edge of a nervous breakdown, a small child will appear and tell you that you made their sandwich wrong.

2 months ago

appear, breakdown, child, edge, humor, legend, mistake, nervous, nervous breakdown, overwhelmed, parenting, sandwich, small, stress, tell, wrong
Strange new trend at the office. People putting names on food in the company fridge. Today I had a tuna sandwich named Linda.

2 months ago

company, company fridge, food, fridge, funny situation, humor, i, lunch, name, names, new, office, people, putting, sandwich, situation, strange, today, trend, tuna, tuna sandwich, workplace
There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

2 months ago

absurdity, butter, crime, drink, feeding, food, funny scenario, giving, humor, joke, nothing, peanut, peanut butter, prank, sandwich, scenario, should, someone, story, thirst, true
Sex so good, my left hand is making my right hand a sandwich.

2 months ago

adult, comedy, double, double entendre, entendre, good, hand, humor, innuendo, joke, left, making, masturbation, playful, right, sandwich, sex
Someday I will make a sandwich that will change my life forever.

2 months ago

ambition, aspiration, change, food, forever, humor, i, life, motivation, sandwich, someday
Rock bottom should give me free sandwich and coffee for how often I hit it.

2 months ago

bottom, coffee, food, free, free sandwich, give, hit, hitting, hitting bottom, humor, i, life, life struggles, me, rock, rock bottom, sandwich, should, struggles
Whenever I’m not eating a breakfast sandwich I wish I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

2 months ago

breakfast, craving, eating, food, humor, i, sandwich, whenever, wish
I miss being the age where the most devastating thing in the world was when my sandwiches got cut into squares instead of triangles.

2 months ago

age, childhood, humor, i, nostalgia, sandwich, simplicity, square, thing, triangle, world

For even more funny sandwich quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sandwich quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve mastered farting, and it be loud and quick, but the key is don’t make a face or look around, so people can’t pinpoint it to you. Just act natural.

30 shares on Discord this month:

I always say “morning” instead of “good morning”, because if it was a good morning, I’d still be asleep.

100 shares on Instagram this month:

Schedule your appointment early in the month before your dentist starts fretting about their next boat payment.

80 shares on TikTok this month:

“No idea” doesn’t mean I don’t know the answer. I just don’t want to have a conversation.

38 shares on WeChat this month:

Sledding is the best! (until you have to walk back up the hill)

72 shares on Reddit this month:

The difference between a hippo and a zippo is that one is really heavy and the other is a little lighter. Thank you and good night.

55 shares on Slack this month:

The actors who signed on to that first Avatar movie have job security like no other in Hollywood.

92 shares on Facebook this month:

Once I started spending my own money, I realized my mom was right. We do have food at home.

95 shares on Twitch this month:

“You look tired.” Yes, bro, I stayed up all night obsessing over things I have no control over.

41 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been alive my whole life, and not once have I seen a commercial for Chinese food.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Putting my Christmas tree up today. Big day for my cats.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

You okay, babe? You’ve hardly touched the promises you made me.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I know it’s bad, and you’ve got to shut it down right away, but is there anything more hilarious than a swearing toddler?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The quickest way to double your money is to hold it in front of a mirror.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Receipts are like: Take this tiny piece of paper home with you and throw it away.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Asked my therapist who their therapist was and went to see them. Asked them the same thing until I got to the final boss therapist and defeated them with my trainwreck of a life.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Making art is making love to the world.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

That “meeting canceled” ping is a gift from the Gods.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,448

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Warning: not watching the news may lead to a heightened sense of joy, security, and optimism.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I never used to worry about death but now I’m terrified it will break my winning Wordle streak.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me using Microsoft Word, losing my revision.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has copied:

Out of Office: I am on vacation. Your emails will be forwarded nowhere to be read by no one. Good day.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has viewed:

Weirdos gonna weird.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has shared:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

Never let your job prevent you from acting unemployed.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

We are all just prisoners here of our phone device.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

To everyone I offended this year: do better next year, so I don’t have to do it again.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

I have decided to purchase the grocery store because it is now cheaper than the groceries inside it.

Trending via Telegram:

The closest thing I’ve had to a personal trainer is the ice cream truck that drove past my house.

Spotted on Pinterest:

Age is an issue of mind over matter. If you don’t mind, it doesn’t matter.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

A Monday every week is excessive.

Making waves on Threads:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

Just shared via Facebook:

I’m trying to shower you with affection. It doesn’t matter how I got into your bathroom.

Spotted on Discord:

Every time the universe sends me a sign, I’m like, okay, but I think I’ll wait for a signier sign.

Going viral on Instagram:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Therapy is expensive, getting lost in the woods and never being seen again is free.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’d rather throw everything I own in the trash than try to deal with people on Facebook Marketplace.

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴