1093 Funny sarcasm quotes — Wordgag ツ

I’m a huge fan of saying “You’re welcome” really loudly when people don’t say thank you.

1 day ago1 day ago

A real smartphone would cut you off.

4 days ago4 days ago

I love admitting when I’m wrong, because it gives me a break from always being right, like finally.

4 days ago4 days ago

I get it, orcas. Sometimes you just need to ruin a yacht to feel something.

1 week ago1 week ago

Might start signing off emails with, “But what do I know.”

1 week ago1 week ago

I talk to myself in the same condescending tone, so you’re not special.

1 week ago1 week ago

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

1 week ago1 week ago

I’m almost finished reading your tweet. Love it so far.

1 week ago1 week ago

Everyone’s worried about a recession, but babes, we’re heading for a dark age.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Bursting into a million bats the second I see you.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

My DMs are always open if you want to talk to yourself.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

My ex is somewhere telling his new girlfriend how bad I was, and she’s smiling, thinking she made it in life. Two idiots.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Fun prank: make people study for 16 years, and then don’t give them jobs.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

They always say, there is someone for everyone… unfortunately, the person for me is a therapist.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

“I’ve never met a medical receptionist that I believed wanted me to live.”

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

People who accuse me of delusions of grandeur, obviously don’t worship me enough.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Cynics are – beneath it all – only idealists with awkwardly high standards.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago