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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇩 has bookmarked:

I only squeak when I’m squoken to.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has viewed:

My milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, and I’m like, cool, can one of you reach the top shelf for me.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

Petition to change the name of rice cakes to something else as they are 100% rice and 0% cake and I’m tired of all the gaslighting.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

Apparently I lack empathy, according to some stupid cow in HR.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

I got a raise! On my meds dosage. But still.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has downloaded:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

“Can you multitask?” Yes, actually I am losing my mind and chilling at the same time.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has shared:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Finally gathered all my thoughts and now they’re jumping me.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has copied:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,387

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

Next time you think I am flirting with you, ask yourself if kindness is so rare in your life that you mistake it for desire.

Spreading quickly via Discord:

No, thanks—social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.

Just landed via Facebook:

I’m heading to the beach without a beach body.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hear the responses my young siblings give my mom, and I’m speechless; they don’t know the commando she was in her prime.

Seen just now on Messenger:

If you love someone, let them go. If they come back with snacks, it was always meant to be.

Going bananas on Slack:

Years of personal growth can be unraveled in 2 days at your parents’ house.

Seen just now on Twitch:

If you don’t realize that you’re a werewolf, then you’re actually an unawarewolf.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Asking my dentist a question, but sticking my fingers in his mouth before he replies.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Live now on Instagram:

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

Funny seasonal humor quotes

Funny seasonal humor quotes bring the perfect blend of laughter and festive vibes to brighten any day 🎉❄️ Whether you’re cozying up in winter or soaking up summer sun ☀️😎, these witty gems add a splash of joy to every season. Ready to giggle through the holidays, spring blooms, or autumn leaves? 🍂🌸 Get set for some seriously chuckle-worthy moments that make every season shine a little brighter! 🎃😂

New funny seasonal humor quotes 👇

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

2 weeks ago

am, change, clothes, clothing, clothing struggle, going, humor, i, okay, readiness, ready, season, season change, seasonal, seasonal humor, struggle, summer, summer clothes, transition, weather, weather transition, winter, winter clothes
Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

2 weeks ago

coffee, cold, cold weather, dark, days, drink, hibernation, humor, morning, morning routine, routine, seasonal, seasonal humor, short, short days, weather, winter
August is almost over. September is next week. Time to pick out a Halloween costume and start your Christmas shopping. Happy New Year, everybody.

3 weeks ago

almost, August, Christmas, Christmas shopping, costume, Halloween, Halloween costume, happy, holiday, holiday planning, humor, management, new, new year, next, over, pick, planning, seasonal, seasonal humor, September, shopping, start, time, time management, week, year

All funny seasonal humor quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on YouTube this month:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

87 shares on Threads this month:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

55 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not asking for a lot, I just want someone down to earth that’s gonna touch me all over like my shower curtain does.

60 shares on Messenger this month:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

97 shares on Discord this month:

Welcome to your 40s: you’re not exhausted, that’s just your face now.

22 shares on Pinterest this month:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

100 shares on Slack this month:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

30 shares on Discord this month:

If Dracula had a cat, she’d be the one sleeping in the coffin.

85 shares on Pinterest this month:

The purpose of life is to go insane sooner or later.

25 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I hate when I lose things at work, like my favorite pen or my will to live.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Instagram is just Twitter for people who go outside.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sex is cool, but have you ever found an academic article that fits your research topic perfectly and supports all of your claims?

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not the person I thought I was when I cut that donut in half.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You cannot hurt me. You are not a hip-height table corner.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

You ever just see a tree and be like, “Bob Ross would’ve liked this one”?

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The History Channel, because where else are you going to learn about how aliens were instrumental in the development of humanity?

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Normalise following up to an ignored email with “helllooooooo?”

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Viewing everyone’s stories like the morning paper.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when someone texts “hey,” like I’m supposed to solve the rest.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I am so incredibly tired today. I think my shelf life has expired.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Toddlers are like puppies, they don’t care if they’re dirty and smelly and they both have an affinity exploring the trash bin.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

Dude, we’re gonna be treating others how we want to be treated later if you wanna pull up.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has bookmarked:

What’s a good career for people with no motivation or talent?

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Going to work has backfired on me so many times.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

No revenge, because losing someone like me is enough.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

I don’t wanna be dramatic but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has viewed:

You’re not a real baddie until a man has tried to forbid you from posting on social media.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

Damn, didn’t win the lottery. It’s messing up my budget plan.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why is it called the Super Bowl if no one is bowling?

Live now on Pinterest:

The good news: once you get a PhD, friends and family will refer to you as doctor. The bad news: They will only do it when you’re wrong.

Just landed via Discord:

Entered this world crying, and honestly, not much has changed.

Trending via Discord:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Using a condom and still pulling out, call that two-factor authentication.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

If the earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.

Seen just now on Instagram:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Spotted on Facebook:

Started from the bottom, now we a little bit above the bottom.

Going viral on Snapchat:

He died doing what he did best, trying to get a croc to wear a Croc.

Just landed via Twitch:

I never make the same mistake twice. I make it three four times, you know, just to be sure!

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