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80 Funny self-care quotes

Muting morons is good for your health.

Funny Quotes Apr 1, 2025

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Funny Quotes Mar 29, 2025

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

Funny Quotes Mar 18, 2025

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Funny Quotes Mar 17, 2025

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

Funny Quotes Mar 14, 2025

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

Funny Quotes Mar 8, 2025

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

Funny Quotes Feb 25, 2025

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

Funny Quotes Feb 10, 2025

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

Funny Quotes Feb 9, 2025

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

Funny Quotes Feb 6, 2025

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

Funny Quotes Feb 3, 2025

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

Funny Quotes Feb 1, 2025

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025

I keep my mind active by worrying.

Funny Quotes Jan 28, 2025