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81 Funny self-care quotes

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

2 weeks ago

Muting morons is good for your health.

3 weeks ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

4 weeks ago

I want to be like a caterpillar. Eat a lot, sleep for a while, and then wake up beautiful.

1 month ago

Doing some skin care routine but my skin doesn’t care.

1 month ago

After I get irritated, it takes me about 2 hours to fix my face.

1 month ago

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

1 month ago

Drink coffee, avoid idiots, read books and repeat.

1 month ago

These days, you gotta have a job for the bills and another job for yourself.

2 months ago

Declined stepping on the scale at the doctor’s office because no one needs that kind of negativity in her life.

2 months ago

Dancing alone in your home is its own kind of therapy.

2 months ago

Sex is cool but have you ever had your bed all to yourself.

2 months ago

It’s healthy to be a little insane sometimes.

3 months ago

I’ve been doing Dry January, but it’s literally just been my lips and skin.

3 months ago

Straighten your back and drink some water, you dehydrated banana.

3 months ago

Sorry I was late, I was disassociating in the shower.

3 months ago

If I’m ever in a coma, please put chapstick on my lips.

3 months ago

Being silly is very important for my mental health.

3 months ago

You look like you take lavender bubble baths with rose petals, surrounded by candles, bro.

3 months ago

Sometimes, fasting from people is also important.

3 months ago

Will someone please make me drink some water and limit my screen time?

3 months ago

When I say I’m Christmas shopping the “for myself” is silent.

3 months ago

I don’t need therapy, I need a bagel with cream cheese.

3 months ago

Shampoo companies need to be clearer when they say “repairs damage”. I cancelled my therapy for nothing.

3 months ago

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

3 months ago

I keep my mind active by worrying.

3 months ago

Sex is cool but have you ever had a king size bed all to yourself.

3 months ago

Hair is washed. I am finally lovable and capable of loving again.

3 months ago

My self-care routine is mostly just going to Mexican restaurants.

3 months ago

Therapy is cool but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

3 months ago