31 Funny service quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  View →: People who work in customer service should be allowed to fight one customer a day. Two on Fridays.
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  1 month ago

  View →: Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.
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  2 months ago

  View →: Every citizen over 18 should be eligible to be drafted into the Postal Service.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.
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  3 months ago

  View →: Confuse a restaurant manager today by telling her how good the service was.
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  3 months ago

  View →: I had the most impatient and rudest cashier. I’m never using self-checkout again.
• 

  3 months ago

  View →: Your call is really important to us but first enjoy this clarinet number for the next seventy five minutes.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Unfortunately, the movie you want to watch is unavailable on your 13 streaming services. You can rent it for $2.99 though.
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  4 months ago

  View →: Bartenders be like “here’s that receipt, I’ll go ahead and put it on the wettest part of the bar”.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Not to brag, but I’m on hold and my call is important to them.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: A.I. should be forced to wait tables before it’s allowed to make art.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: A service where you bring a working printer to my house, I print the one thing I need, and you leave again until next year.
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  4 months ago

  View →: They should invent a customer service center that isn’t “currently experiencing higher than normal call volume”.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: How to write complaints: “Dear customer service, first of all, you should know that I am typing this with my middle finger.”
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Your call is very important to us, here’s six days of irritating music.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: McDonald’s will “anything else” you to death. Can you wait a McMinute?
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: If you’re out shopping today, be nice to retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited until Marys waters broke before you started your shopping.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.
• 

  4 months ago

  View →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Why does it take 5-7 days to refund me when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out?
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: The Secret Service was chasing me but I painted a tunnel on the side of a wall and they all ran into it.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Sure, my internet service is overpriced and spotty but you can’t put a price on unintentionally being dropped from every Zoom meeting.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I hate it when I’m gossiping at work and a customer wants to be served. How rude is that?
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: I’m sorry you had a bad experience at our restaurant. To make it up to you, here is a coupon for more of our terrible, terrible food.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: A person’s character can be read quite reliably from the way he or she interacts with service personnel.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Anyone who deals with customers on a professional basis should be allowed to hand out one face slap per day.
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  5 months ago

  View →: Petition to allow customer service employees to fight at least one customer per day.
• 

  5 months ago

  View →: Thank you for contacting the abyss. Your scream is very important to us.

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