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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

I didn’t just turn into a grouchy old woman overnight. It took years of people letting me down, pissing me off, and dealing with idiots to get this good at it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

So glad that the dream I had of you isn’t affecting me at all, and I’m able to go on with my day without thinking of it.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

I enjoy long walks up and down my stairs trying to remember what I was supposed to be doing.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has viewed:

My kids are smart but sometimes they say dumb stuff like, “Mom, why do you always buy Snickers when you’re the only one who likes them?”

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

If I was on Love Island, I wouldn’t be fighting anyone or starting drama. I would just be playing mermaids in the pool the whole time. They’ve got that giant, beautiful pool, and nobody’s using it.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has downloaded:

“Love is in the air.” Wrong. Microplastics.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has downloaded:

I’m basically a taxi today for the kids and dogs.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has bookmarked:

WhatsApp shouldn’t just display “seen”, but also “lies” and “also writes with other girls”!

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

I was once told that if you can’t say anything nice, don’t say anything at all. Due to this, I’ve been observing a vow of silence since 1997.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,960

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,960

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Cowboy outfits should be called ranch dressing.

Just landed via Twitch:

Imagine falling in love and then finding out that they put antlers on their car for the holidays.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late. It’s just because of who I am as a person.

Spotted on X:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

I just ate, and now I’m going swimming, so I guess this is goodbye.

Trending via Threads:

When I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean accountable.

Just landed via Reddit:

Sometimes after sex, I wonder what it would be like to have sex as a couple.

Shared recently on WeChat:

This too shall pass. And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never fucking ends.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

Spoiler alert: Eventually you will pay a price for the way you treated people.

Making waves on Facebook:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1798 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,960

Funny Quotes Topics

14,758

Funny Quotes Images

11,960

Updated

3 minutes ago

Users Online

3,435

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I even procrastinate things I actually want to do.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

The universe clearly isn’t working as it should so someone should turn it off and back on again.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has shared:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has downloaded:

Anyone else think it’s weird how cancer kills more people than any other astrological sign.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Someone from 🇷🇺 has shared:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has copied:

Therapy is nice but singing as loud as you can in your car is free.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Pinterest:

I’m probably like this because I drank water from the hose.

Going viral on Reddit:

Cloud 9 is a very high place to fall from.

Going viral on Discord:

Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Seen just now on Threads:

Because it is Friday, I will allow one beautiful woman to invite me for drinks.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

The way time stretches between the moment you put your hands under the air dryer and the realization it is in fact a paper towel dispenser.

Spotted on Pinterest:

A vibrator is amazing but it doesn’t call me “good girl” unfortunately.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Whoever came up with the spelling for “receipt” was an idiopt.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

One year older today, and still no closer to growing up.

Just shared via Slack:

There is nothing like a little tomato soup to soothe the soul, even if it’s cold, over ice, with a celery stalk and vodka.

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