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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Procrastination isn’t a horrible thing. I mean, you always have something to do tomorrow… plus you have nothing to do today.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

I don’t get treadmills, I mean if I walk I better reach somewhere.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Sorry I didn’t get you an anniversary card, babe, but you opted in to paperless affection on our third date.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

I don’t want to brag or anything, but I can still fit in the earrings I wore in high school.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has viewed:

I have two dogs: one dominates, the other is a subwoofer.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

Italy stands for I Truly Always Love You.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has shared:

I’m not tispy. I’m merry.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

The first time people saw a train coming at them, they ran away in terror.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has bookmarked:

Messages are way funnier when you know how that person talks.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,017

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Messenger:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Should be able to shazam the inner yearnings of my heart.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

They should invent a day where I don’t think.

Just shared via Twitch:

I just want everyone to know that somebody cares. Not me, but somebody does.

Spotted on TikTok:

The subtle art of surviving this life with grace and dignity.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Alcohol: When you want to run away from your problems without moving.

Going viral on WeChat:

Teaching myself ukulele! Neighbor keeping the beat on my wall!

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

Goodnight Outlook, goodnight Teams, goodnight Zoom.

Just shared via WeChat:

I like people who make eye contact like they know something I don’t.

Broadcasted on Discord:

The human brain is amazing. It functions 24/7 from the day we’re born and only stops when you’re taking a test or speaking to someone attractive.

35 Funny sexy quotes

Funny sexy quotes bring the perfect mix of cheeky charm and sassy wit to spice up any conversation 🔥😉 Whether you’re flirting, teasing, or just in the mood for some laughter with a dash of seduction, these playful lines will keep things fun and flirty 💃😂 Get ready to turn up the heat and the humor—because who says sexy can’t be silly too? 😘🔥 #FlirtyAndFunny

New funny sexy quotes 👇

For even more funny sexy quotes, hit next 👇

All funny sexy quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎉🥂 New Year Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

80 shares on Pinterest this month:

The dumbest people have the loudest opinions on politics.

35 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

20 shares on Threads this month:

Any fool can criticize, condemn and complain, and most do.

27 shares on WeChat this month:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

28 shares on Instagram this month:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

25 shares on YouTube this month:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

91 shares on Snapchat this month:

Normalize saying, “I’m not informed enough to have an opinion on the matter.”

25 shares on Facebook this month:

How does spaghetti know that I’m wearing light-colored clothes?

27 shares on Discord this month:

They should make the last foot of dental floss red so you know when you’re about to run out.

34 shares on Discord this month:

I appreciate all clouds. Fluffy, non-fluffy… it’s how Bob Ross would’ve wanted it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Unpopular activity: minding your own business.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Nephew showed me his toys on FaceTime, and I had no toys to show him back. Humiliating.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

If McDonald’s sold hot dogs, would you be able to, with a straight face, order a McWiener and tell them to supersize it?

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I started at the bottom and worked my way down.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope you catch the bouquet at my funeral.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I commented to a friend that I didn’t know how goofy Scream was. It turns out I have never seen Scream. I saw Scary Movie.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

615 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,208

Funny Quotes Topics

17,340

Funny Quotes Images

15,208

Updated

Dec 30, 2025

Users Online

4,003

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

I only go on LinkedIn to see what my coworkers looked like 15 years ago.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Forget cheating, that’s young people’s shit. I’m ready to get married and have an affair.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has copied:

90% of the things I worry about never happen. Worrying seems to be working.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has copied:

The first person to throw out bath water: Uh oh.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

I’m going to write a book about all the things I should have done with my life. l’ll call it my oughtabiography.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

Women will be like “I know a spot,” and then take you directly to hell.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

I’ve shouted so much sporting advice from my sofa already this summer. It’s very tiring but hopefully it’s helping.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

If you don’t know how many x-rays it takes before a person develops super powers, should you really be in a medical profession?

Someone from 🇪🇷 has copied:

Today, I want to talk about how people’s houses smell funny, but mine doesn’t.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via TikTok:

I am single, please disturb me!

Going bananas on Pinterest:

People who live in glass houses shouldn’t change clothes.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I couldn’t work at a zoo. I’d have a penguin in my car by the end of the shift.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

I don’t want to be dramatic, but the work week continuously restarting is literally ruining my life.

Seen just now on Slack:

Yes, my sex drive is higher than my will to live, and what about it?

Trending via LinkedIn:

The older I get, the more I appreciate people who pretend not to notice me when they see me out in public.

Breaking via Threads:

Good morning. I’m ready for attention now.

Just landed via Twitch:

My lips could use some attention today.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Commas are like garlic, you measure with your heart.

Going viral on Slack:

Returned my 3D printer, but not before making a 3D printer with it.

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