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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

ChatGPT is down right now and if you listen closely, you can hear millions of content creators screaming.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

I bet being full feels so good for the moon.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Life is what happens in between trips to the fridge.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

Crazy how every smart person recommends going for walks.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

The problem with hiding snacks from my kid is that when I forget, they end up being hidden from me too.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

I need a Netflix show called: “Background noise while you scroll on your phone.”

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

People will love you. People will hate you. And none of it will have anything to do with you.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

Blocking me is like blocking the sun, the moon and the stars.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has shared:

There needs to be a separate grocery store for people who actually know what they’re doing.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has bookmarked:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,628

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via X:

Is ChatGPT down for anyone else? I’m a neurosurgeon in the middle of brain surgery.

Shared recently on Discord:

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

People who can’t tell the difference between whole numbers and decimals are missing the point.

Just shared via WeChat:

We just accepted air fryers and never once questioned how air fries things.

Going viral on Threads:

I do not want to have a career. I want to sit on the porch.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

Making waves on Messenger:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Seen just now on Discord:

I was so locked in, to the point where we were tongue-kissing with morning breath.

Just shared via TikTok:

Bank account nice and empty. Starting the new month on a clean slate.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I love when women move on. It’s my favourite genre.

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Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

68 shares on Facebook this month:

I do not use AI, I use Reddit commenters’ opinions as fact because they are right.

85 shares on Telegram this month:

Never trust people who smile constantly. They’re either selling something or not very bright.

41 shares on Reddit this month:

Is it healthier to drink tap water and let the fluoride calcify my pineal gland or drink bottled spring water and let micro plastics settle in my balls?

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Sausage might clog my arteries, but it lubricates my soul.

12 shares on WeChat this month:

I just sneezed into my elbow and now I’m waiting for a preschool teacher to praise me.

32 shares on Pinterest this month:

I always leave my friends voicemails in case they suddenly decide to be a musician and need an interlude.

78 shares on Snapchat this month:

Had an interview today, and my belly rumbled. The lady goes, “Missed lunch?” I told her, “Nah, I’m hungry for success!”

81 shares on Pinterest this month:

Matcha. Dubai chocolate. Jealousy. Green is back in a big way, and likely due to deforestation.

90 shares on Twitch this month:

Respect people who wear glasses because they paid money to see you.

48 shares on YouTube this month:

Socks teach us that being made for each other does not mean being together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If we start dating now, we could be arguing on a road trip by August.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Rabbits jump and they live for 8 years. Dogs run and they live for 15 years. Turtles do nothing and live for 150 years. Lesson learned.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

The secret to work life balance is generational wealth.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

They should have a special lane for texting and driving.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I highly recommend getting yourself a “How can I help” partner and not a “You will be fine” partner.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Twitter is fun because you can post a pic of pizza and people will get mad at you.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope this email finds you in a well.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

People never run off to join the circus anymore.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Trying to explain that I’m fascinated by Japan for wood joinery reasons and not nerd or pervert reasons.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,381

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Pouring rain, football on TV, empty house; the stuff dreams are made of.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

Wearing expensive perfume to work feels like such a waste. This should be under someone’s full body weight, not in a corporate setting.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

Reverse cowgirl so I can post selfies.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has downloaded:

Drunk me promising you anything is the equivalent of a politician giving their manifesto … it’s not gonna happen.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

I got my patience from waiting half the day to download a song from Limewire.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

My husband cleaned the kitchen for the first time in years. He’s in the living room, dressed in a suit, waiting for the award ceremony to commence.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

It’s funny how when you’re at work, “Go to hell” comes out as “No problem.”

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Are you my pinky toe, because I will bang you on all my furniture.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

I love befriending yappers. They bring the yapping out of me. Then we yap together. Yapping is so much fun.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Threads:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Going bananas on WeChat:

The masculine urge to hitch your pants up after making a minor decision.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

She was my chai, I was her cake rusk.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I get it cicadas, I’m ready to scream for six weeks too.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Why is judge the only job where you can bang a little hammer to make people shut up? I’ve needed that in literally every job I’ve had.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

“November Rain” is just 9 minutes of me realizing I’m too dramatic to date someone with healthy coping skills.

Just shared via Threads:

No one talks about the resentment you have towards yourself after you didn’t listen to your gut.

Live now on Facebook:

I think when girls start liking pink again, it means they’re healing.

Spotted on X:

Dry January is so funny. People are like, “How can I make the worst month of the year even worse?”

Shared recently on Messenger:

I really don’t care what happens to me romantically anymore.

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