Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has bookmarked:

Roses are red, tacos are delicious. I use paper plates, ’cause I hate doing dishes.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

If you get drunk and message your ex, don’t worry. When you wake up, send bitcoin ads and pretend you were hacked.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

I’m obsessed with adding a second completely unnecessary tweet to all my tweets, like, oh, you thought I was done.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

The fun thing about Airbnb is that you get to clean someone else’s house on your vacation.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has downloaded:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has downloaded:

Today I bought a doughnut without sprinkles. This diet thing is hard.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

If we date and break up, you gotta unlearn all my lingo and cool shit that I taught you. You gotta go back to being lame.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

Super excited about a brand new week of faking it.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

You could be having a nice day and then somebody your own age says they bought a house.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,322

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I used to be a night owl, but as I’ve gotten older, I’ve become more of a person who doesn’t function at any time.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m a go with the flow kind of gal unless the flow is after 9pm or involves parallel parking.

Just landed via TikTok:

I’m “I can’t sit like that for too long” years old.

Just landed via Messenger:

Good luck sending me mixed signals. Most the time I can’t even understand the direct ones.

Going bananas on Facebook:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Washing your face is actually multitasking because you are also washing your hands and forearms and shirt and countertop and feet and floor and hair.

Broadcasted on X:

We need a streaming service that’s only ads. No shows, just commercials. They pay us $15 a month.

Just landed via Pinterest:

This time last night, there was a spider so big in my bathroom it put me under a glass on a postcard and carried me out.

Making waves on Reddit:

Don’t be alarmed at my semicolon usage; I’m a professional.

Funny shopping cart quotes

Funny shopping cart quotes 🛒 bring a hilarious twist to your everyday grocery run! Whether you’re dodging wobbly wheels or navigating crowded aisles, these witty lines add laughs to the shopping spree 😄. Perfect for sharing with friends or brightening up your grocery day, get ready to roll through the store with a smile and some clever cart humor! 😂✨

New funny shopping cart quotes 👇

All funny shopping cart quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

29 shares on Telegram this month:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

32 shares on YouTube this month:

You never hear anything about Mr. Rubik himself, only about his cube.

41 shares on X this month:

People on Facebook be like “can anyone tell me about a thing I can easily Google myself?”

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

35 shares on Threads this month:

What’s the point of having sex dreams if you always wake up just when it’s getting down to business?

22 shares on Threads this month:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

86 shares on Twitch this month:

Unfortunately, I’m not nonchalant or mysterious. I’m just a naturally awkward person who becomes talkative once I’m comfortable.

44 shares on Telegram this month:

I’m not falling for it again. These missions have been successful 8 times already.

99 shares on X this month:

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

88 shares on Twitch this month:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

If my fingers don’t motion like scissors snipping when I ask for a haircut at the salon, how will they know what I mean?

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Whoever invented the gender reveal party needs to be launched into the sun.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Establish dominance by dropping your panties first.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

When I was a kid, I thought cicadas were the sound sunshine makes when it’s real hot outside.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m awake and working. Please respect my privacy during these trying and emotional times.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If you get injured playing peekaboo, you end up in the ICU.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Everyone’s a gangster until they have to say sorry.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

This is about the time of year where my enthusiasm about shoveling snow turns into “it will probably melt on it’s own”.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I was having a great day, and then, people.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,723

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

Watching women’s tennis and getting angry at the net. We shouldn’t put needless obstacles in the way of women.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

If life has taught me one thing, it’s that I need more money.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has copied:

Cancel culture has been canceled.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

I don’t need to bring anything to a knife fight, because I don’t go to knife fights.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

There’s no way you could go all the way through the desert on a horse with no name, you’d have named it by the end.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

You can’t spell dyslexia without sexy.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

I don’t think I’d get married again, but I would like to annoy someone until one of us is dead.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has viewed:

“I asked Grok.” “I asked ChatGPT.” Well, I’ve sacrificed a sheep.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Roses are red. I’m going to bed.

Live now on Reddit:

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

Trending via Reddit:

Drinking coffee because throwing chairs at people is frowned upon.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Trending via Messenger:

You know when you tap a video to see how long it’s got left? I wish you could do that to people while they’re talking.

Trending via Messenger:

Santa punched a hole in my wall because I left him soy milk.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Someone needs to make an app for a Tamagotchi that you keep alive by going offline.

Live now on Messenger:

I simply accept my extreme loneliness as punishment for something I did in a past life, and don’t worry about it.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

Updating my resume. Anyone got a more professional word for “dumpster fire”?

Shared recently on Snapchat:

I like it when you’re reading a comic and you can tell the writer is pissed about what the last writer did to the character.

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