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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

Tell your dog I said woof woof.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

My bed has a stronger influence on me than my ambitions.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Parents be like, “I gave you everything I had,” and by everything, they meant the collector’s edition boxed set of mental illness.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Sorry I slowed down but I had to calculate if the bridge could hold the weight of my car with all the stuffed animals my kids insisted on bringing on vacation.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Welcome to your 40’s. You now have to second guess your age as you can’t believe you’re that old.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has viewed:

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

My favorite part of parenting is when they’re asleep.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

When I trip, I always look back to see who or what did it, because it couldn’t have possibly been my fault.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

After all the books are banned, they’ll move on to suggestive fruit.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,492

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I can already feel that the day is going to seize me instead of the other way around.

Trending via Facebook:

I put my bathroom scale in the corner, and that’s where the little liar will stay until it apologizes.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Jury duty is a wild concept. Whenever the government wants, they can just be like “Call off work, bestie, we need you to solve a murder. Here’s fifteen dollars.”

Making waves on Instagram:

I’m tired of adding ‘LOL’ to the end of my texts for sensitive people.

Shared recently on Slack:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Spotted on WeChat:

That moment when you dip your cookie in milk for too long and it breaks off, then you wonder why bad things happen to good people.

Making waves on Slack:

Life would be so much easier if the nose of people who lie all the time did actually grow longer like Pinocchio’s.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

They should invent a rom-com where no one has to overhear anything that leads to a huge unnecessary misunderstanding.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Unfortunately, I am not nonchalant, I will set myself on fire.

13 Funny signal quotes

Funny signal quotes 📶😂 are the perfect way to lighten up those frustrating moments when your Wi-Fi acts up or your phone drops calls 📱💥. Whether you’re stuck buffering or lost in a sea of no bars, these witty lines will have you laughing through the tech troubles 🤣⚡. Get ready to share some giggles and turn signal struggles into pure comedy gold! 🎉📡

New funny signal quotes 👇

Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

3 hours ago

body, body signal, brain, digestion, empty, food, humor, hunger, signal, stomach
What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

4 hours ago

babe, communication, confusion, dating, humor, love, mixed, mixed signal, relationship, sarcasm, signal, signals, wrong
I see from the back of your car that you have found Jesus, but not your turn signal.

11 hours ago

back, car, driving, found, humor, i, Jesus, joke, religion, road, road safety, safety, signal, traffic, turn, turn signal
For your own sanity, always take mixed signals as a no.

1 day ago

advice, always, communication, decision, decision making, humor, making, mixed, mixed signal, own, sanity, signal, signals, take
Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

1 month ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

2 months ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

2 months ago

always, better, connectivity, desert, digital, humor, i, internet, joke, looking, occasionally, pun, signal, tech, tech humor, technology, wandering, wifi
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

2 months ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal
I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

2 months ago

clarity, clear, communication, expectations, humor, i, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signal, perfectly, relationship, signal, signals, thought
Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

2 months ago

authority, convoluted, convoluted language, just, language, legalese, magic, magic spell, power, rhyme, sense, signal, special, spell, spells, term, terms

For even more funny signal quotes, hit next 👇

All funny signal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

10 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s that time of year again where I go to random restaurants to tell random women, “So this is why you cancelled our date?”, while they’re out with their significant others.

31 shares on Twitch this month:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

61 shares on Twitch this month:

Baby, we believe in God around here, I don’t care what’s trending these days.

19 shares on Reddit this month:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

22 shares on Telegram this month:

Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is realizing that the other person is completely stupid.

84 shares on Messenger this month:

I could be a morning person, if morning was sometime around noon.

71 shares on YouTube this month:

Oh my God, “unc” means uncool. I thought it meant uncle. Like you’re carrying the energy of someone’s weird uncle.

90 shares on WeChat this month:

Am I just an Untitled Document to you?

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Runners who smoke need to pick a side.

71 shares on Telegram this month:

Please don’t take illegal substances. Or at least, don’t take MY illegal substances.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Wooden pews are designed to maximize the shame of farting in church.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Teens be like, “I wanted to do that until you asked me to.”

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I wouldn’t walk 500 miles, and then walk 500 more.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

That awkward moment when you try something on in a shop but you don’t know if you can get it off again.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

GTA6 should have streams and wetlands so we can work to conserve and restore them.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My husband saw a rabbit in our yard eating grass and said “That would be like sitting in a field of french fries.”

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Giving people access to the internet was a massive mistake.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Long-distance couples be like, “I can’t wait,” and then they wait.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,440

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has copied:

The worst part about getting sucked up by the tornado you’re filming is to die knowing your wife was right. You are an idiot.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

If the man is silent, he is a thinker. If the woman is silent, the thinker is in big trouble.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Person in murder documentary: This is a small town. Things like this don’t happen here. Me: Um, based on the shows I watch, that’s all that happens in small towns.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

Who needs a weighted blanket when you’ve got the weight of the world?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Do you ever feel like you’re a white shirt and life is a red wine?

Someone from 🇲🇰 has shared:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

The key to a healthy relationship is taking turns being the sad one.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

A single garbageman contributes more to society before lunch than every crypto trader and op-ed writer combined does in their lifetime.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has viewed:

Being an adult is when you ask the babysitter when you should be home.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Been whispering “I like invented her” about my newborn every few hours.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

They won’t teach you this in school, but life is all about going to weird little diners.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Spotted on Instagram:

Accidentally said “normal” when they asked what milk I wanted at the leftist cafe.

Just landed via WeChat:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I love being outside, just not when it’s too cold or too hot or too wet or too windy or if there are bugs.

Spotted on Instagram:

Sorry for texting back instantly. My phone is in my hand, I’m mature, and I like you.

Spotted on X:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Why does everyone always think that I know what I’m doing? Most of the time I watch myself in amazement and am curious to see what happens.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I love how every website has a “Keep me signed in on this computer” button and it’s just straight up bullshit.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

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