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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has downloaded:

Going to all the Halloween parties this year as the Invisible Man.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has shared:

Rain cancels plans, upsetting some and delighting others.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has shared:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever watched the teams you hate be first-round exits?

Someone from 🇨🇦 has copied:

You’re the human embodiment of an “ugh.”

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

“Unc” is short for “unclear.” It’s unclear what it means. “Uncle” is short for “unclear” as well.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has downloaded:

Fyi, if you like listening to “rain sounds,” they’re almost all recordings of chicken being fried.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has viewed:

And then I thought to myself, “What’s the point of cleaning if my family is going to keep living here?”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has viewed:

90s scientists: we cloned a sheep. we landed a robot on mars. Scientists today: for the last time, the earth is round.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has bookmarked:

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

One downside of marrying a doctor is you have to give up eating apples.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,756

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on TikTok:

I wonder if people who spend all their time screaming on the internet know there are way more fun things to do.

Going viral on Reddit:

Don’t believe in yourself, you can’t do it.

Spotted on Telegram:

I wonder how many different vegetables they exploded before they discovered popcorn.

Breaking via Telegram:

Not to be a nerd, but a well-placed semicolon is hot as hell.

Trending via Telegram:

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Might put on a bikini and run through your DMs.

Just landed via Discord:

Ever since I learned about the concept of networking, I knew I was going to have to do everything alone and do it the hard way.

Live now on X:

Software engineers are the dumbest smart people I’ve ever met.

Seen just now on YouTube:

No matter how bad your day seems, just remember that someone out there has line danced to Achy Breaky Heart.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

My wife has the worst taste in men.

13 Funny signal quotes

Funny signal quotes 📶😂 are the perfect way to lighten up those frustrating moments when your Wi-Fi acts up or your phone drops calls 📱💥. Whether you’re stuck buffering or lost in a sea of no bars, these witty lines will have you laughing through the tech troubles 🤣⚡. Get ready to share some giggles and turn signal struggles into pure comedy gold! 🎉📡

New funny signal quotes 👇

Male barista called me “my love” yesterday and didn’t say it today… getting mixed signals and feeling really upset.

6 days ago

barista, called, coffee, coffee shop, feeling, getting, humor, interaction, love, male, me, mixed, mixed signal, nickname, say, shop, signal, signals, today, upset, yesterday
Mixed signals mean they don’t like you like that. It’s that simple.

1 week ago

communication, dating, dislike, love, mean, mixed, mixed signal, rejection, relationship, signal, signals, simple
I named my wifi “The Promised LAN” because it always connects, but occasionally leaves you wandering in the desert looking for a better signal.

1 week ago

always, better, connectivity, desert, digital, humor, i, internet, joke, looking, occasionally, pun, signal, tech, tech humor, technology, wandering, wifi
Some of you are out here driving like your turn signal’s free trial ended and you’re all out of blinks.

1 week ago

blinks, driving, free, free trial, here, humor, road, road safety, safety, signal, signals, traffic, trial, turn, turn signal
I thought my mixed signals were perfectly clear.

2 weeks ago

clarity, clear, communication, expectations, humor, i, misunderstanding, mixed, mixed signal, perfectly, relationship, signal, signals, thought
Just as “magic spells” use special rhymes and archaic terms to signal their power, the convoluted language of legalese acts to convey a sense of authority.

2 weeks ago

authority, convoluted, convoluted language, just, language, legalese, magic, magic spell, power, rhyme, sense, signal, special, spell, spells, term, terms
One thing that could really “level-up” the experience of being a pedestrian would be if cars had some kind of feature that could indicate whether or not they were going to turn in a particular direction.

3 weeks ago

being, cars, direction, driving, experience, feature, going, humor, level-up, pedestrian, road, road safety, safety, signal, thing, turn, turn signal
I tried to scream into the abyss today but got a busy signal.

3 weeks ago

abyss, busy, busy signal, communication, existential, frustration, humor, i, irony, scream, signal, today
Blink if you want me!

3 weeks ago

attraction, blink, communication, date, flirty, humor, me, signal, want
Unlike the brain, the stomach alerts you when it’s empty.

3 weeks ago

body, body signal, brain, digestion, empty, food, humor, hunger, signal, stomach

For even more funny signal quotes, hit next 👇

All funny signal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on Discord this month:

God: “I told you to love thy neighbor – not start trade wars with them.”

14 shares on Telegram this month:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

61 shares on Discord this month:

Rehab is a great place to meet people that like Piña Coladas and getting caught in the rain.

64 shares on Facebook this month:

You’ve got to question the legitimacy of the Burger Kingdom if Burger King is just handing out crowns to anybody willy-nilly.

25 shares on Messenger this month:

Do goalies ever get lonely during a game?

66 shares on X this month:

If you look close enough, everyone is insane.

29 shares on Slack this month:

Bisexual just means that I wear perfume with my men’s deodorant.

94 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

12 shares on Facebook this month:

Call me dramatic, but I think I deserve a love confession in the rain.

81 shares on Slack this month:

Parenting just means you have to pretend you like to eat fruits and vegetables in front of your kids, knowing you’d rather eat a cheeseburger instead.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

11 folks are currently checking 👀

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish that reading books in the park were my job, and I got paid six figures for it.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

People always say, “There’s plenty of fish in the sea” … yeah, but I’ve got my eye fixed on that specific, emotionally distant salmon who has commitment issues.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

I thought I needed a drink. Turns out what I really needed was a divorce.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Things I hate about group work: The group.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Every app is a dating app if you are creepy enough.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I have no need to judge people because of their religion, skin color or sexual orientation. Bad behavior is enough for me.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Great minds think alike, but so do stupid ones.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Squirrels get most of their energy from chewing on powerlines, that acorn thing is just for show.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

There is a special place reserved in hell for website designers who disable cut and paste in password fields.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,733

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has bookmarked:

Finally, we’re living through precedented times.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

People keep inviting me to stuff. I miss the pandemic.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has viewed:

I tried to act normal once, worst five minutes of my life.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has downloaded:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has viewed:

Girls … I understood why they advise us to get married and have kids before 25. Because after that, our brain starts working, and the decision won’t seem so reasonable anymore.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has bookmarked:

For as long as that song was, you’d think the Ghost Busters would have mentioned their phone number at least once.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

People at the library need to learn how to be quiet. Some of us are trying to beatbox over here.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

Butterflies all seem so nice but I’ll bet some of them are real bastards.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has bookmarked:

I have to pee. Story of my life.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Reddit:

The gap in my resume? Yeah, it’s called playing outside.

Going viral on Slack:

I can’t sleep good when I know the food is feeling cold in the fridge.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Have you ever been so hungry but had no food in the house, so you took a nap instead?

Seen just now on TikTok:

Sometimes the whole point of going out is to then really savor coming back home.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

If a tree falls in a forest and doesn’t make a sound, maybe that’s where your kid should be practicing the piano.

Shared recently on YouTube:

I only go for nature walks with people I can outrun.

Just landed via X:

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Whoever has my voodoo doll, please put some money in its pocket.

Shared recently on TikTok:

My dog sets an impossible bar for how I should greet my wife when she comes home.

Trending via LinkedIn:

A job interview is basically a conversation between two liars.

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