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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has viewed:

It can be so healing to stay up until 3am. Unfortunately, it will also completely ruin your life.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

The house from Hansel and Gretel but made out of tacos.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has shared:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has bookmarked:

Brainwashing is always considered terrible and horrible. But there are many brains that would benefit from a wash.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

I’ve got the longest to-do list for today, just need to figure out who is going to do it.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

What’s it called when you’re super insecure but, at the same time, you can walk into a room full of people and think you’re better than everyone else?

Someone from 🇹🇲 has copied:

I see 1000 girls. I know 100 girls. I talk to 10 girls. I love 1 girl. And she doesn’t love me back.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has bookmarked:

The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

When I dance, people say it reminds them of a wild dog chasing its tail.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I’m not fat. I just eat in advance.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,445

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Discord:

I’m busy watching the vegan couple next door arguing about the Big Mac wrapper I hid in their trash can.

Reported on Facebook:

Spewing nonsense online is the most fun a depressed person is allowed to have in these twisted times.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Sometimes, I wonder what my life would be like if I had a good haircut.

Making waves on Snapchat:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Self-checkout is amazing for introverts until the machine breaks and two employees have to come fix it while you wait.

Breaking via TikTok:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Broadcasted on Threads:

When I’m president, I will add an additional hour between 6 and 7pm.

Reported on LinkedIn:

I want to become so financially stable that God uses my pockets to bless others.

Making waves on YouTube:

I can literally trace the moment my career died back to when my boss said he was in back-to-back meetings, and I said, “Isn’t face-to-face better?”

Going viral on WhatsApp:

My husband sure has a lot of opinions on which movie he’s gonna sleep through.

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Funny six weeks quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication dating day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2251 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,413

Funny Quotes Topics

15,120

Funny Quotes Images

12,413

Updated

42 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

The web is the only place where you encourage strangers to follow you. What could possibly go wrong?

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has bookmarked:

Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me. Fool me three times, I’m never sending you nudes again.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

When someone asks me if my twins are natural, I tell them no they’re robots.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

My wife asked me why the bottle of wine we bought yesterday was half empty. I said because she is a pessimist.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

“It’s the most wonderful crime of the year!” I crooned running away with the pot of Santa’s donations.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you wanna make someone cry, just show them the earliest year they can retire.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has viewed:

Sorry for being so cringey and awkward. It will definitely happen again.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has viewed:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Discord:

We don’t make people walk the plank like we used to.

Just landed via Facebook:

Notice how ghosts never wear fitted sheets?

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

Trending via Twitch:

Normalize throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up.

Reported on WeChat:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I can’t blame this generation too much for doing stupid stuff. My generation thought seven Police Academy movies were a good idea.

Seen just now on Threads:

Big fan of the comma, just great. Like look, I just made you pause the sentence as you read it. Oh look, I just did it again.

Reported on Instagram:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

Making waves on Snapchat:

Getting out of bed should count as resistance training.

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