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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

The longer I work in corporate, the more I realize… Micromanaging is just insecurity dressed up as leadership.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

I admire how time manages to quickly heal wounds but takes forever to remove awkward tan lines.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has copied:

I always wait 3 minutes after each post for the applause to die down.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

I don’t care what other people think of me, at least mosquitoes find me attractive.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has viewed:

That fight could’ve been an email.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Earth is hard.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

Taking yesterday’s bad mood on a multi-day tour.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Cafeteria is a beautiful name for a baby girl.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,717

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on YouTube:

The fastest mammal on earth is the smartass on the web.

Just landed via YouTube:

It’s Monday. Please lower your voice and expectations.

Going bananas on X:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Making waves on Messenger:

Am I the only person who hates spending the night at someone’s place? Like, we can hang out until 3 a.m., but I’m still going home.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Christmas lights: the only thing bright around here besides my personality.

Going bananas on Reddit:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Live now on Instagram:

I’m staying up past midnight this New Year’s eve. Not to welcome the new year, but to make sure this one is over.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I decided to be me and now we have a problem.

Going viral on Instagram:

Peer pressure has nothing on me; all my bad decisions are made single-handedly.

Broadcasted on Messenger:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

38 Funny skill quotes

Funny skill quotes bring a hilarious twist to mastering talents and leveling up your game 🎯😂 Whether you’re a pro or a beginner, these witty lines will make you smile while celebrating your quirks and wins 🏆✨ Get ready to laugh, learn, and maybe even pick up a clever tip or two along the way! 😎🎉

New funny skill quotes 👇

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All funny skill quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

76 shares on Messenger this month:

Any time I have ever uttered the phrase “no worries” I have been lying. There are many worries.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

97 shares on Facebook this month:

A girl hating you is a million times better than her calling you a ‘nice guy’.

59 shares on Reddit this month:

An Amish party in the desert called churning man.

53 shares on Messenger this month:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

82 shares on Messenger this month:

My dental hygienist is probably thinking, I bet i could braid this guys nose hair.

85 shares on Discord this month:

Your brain automatically translates WTF but not LOL.

66 shares on TikTok this month:

“I’m in a really good place right now, not mentally. I’m just indoors with air conditioning.”

90 shares on Reddit this month:

At my age, “getting lucky” means walking into a room and remembering what you came in there for.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I could never be nonchalant because I am not well in the head, and also my soul is on fire.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry, I liked your post one second after you posted it but in my defense, I’ve had my phone in my hand since 2012.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Unfortunately, I have the paper towel habit of a much wealthier woman.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes when I get negative feedback I’m like “Hey, only I get to talk to myself that way”.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

If she reads Bukowski, she’s not looking for love. She’s looking for someone who will ruin her creatively.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

That stupid look on my face is my face.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Don’t compare yourself with others. Everyone is better than you.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If rich people aren’t upset after an election, then we have failed.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

When you’re a parent, your skincare routine is just the steam from the dishwasher when you open it to find the coffee cup you just needed.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,644

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇭 has downloaded:

Rewatching my story every time somebody heart it to see what they see.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

I love when really expensive products say, “apply generously,” like, of course, you would say that.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

UNO is based on luck unless I win, then it’s based on strategy, and I’m a genius.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has copied:

If you fall asleep long enough, the steering wheel gives you a pillow.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

Hey, sorry I can’t go out tonight. I already showered and got into bed, and now I’m busy rubbing my feet together like a little grasshopper.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Hey girl, are you a cigarette? Because I like cigarettes.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

In America we have marijuana. In France they have oui’d.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has viewed:

Many fruits can be great names… but the real challenge is naming a child after a vegetable….

Someone from 🇵🇦 has viewed:

Forgetting how to clean the dishes and shooting them with a gun.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Threads:

My dog pisses on every election sign regardless of political party so I have no idea who he is voting for.

Shared recently on Discord:

“Real Housewives” is a great oxymoron because nothing about them is real.

Going viral on Threads:

You could waterboard pretty much any embarrassing information out of me. I’m very waterboardable.

Seen just now on Messenger:

No, babe, I love your prefrontal cortex. The fully developed ones scare me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I’m not always a couch potato. For instance, right now I’m a chair potato, and later I’ll be a bed potato.

Going viral on Messenger:

I wish I was born into wealth so I could have a nice 1-bedroom apartment.

Making waves on X:

I’ve been asked to join a swingers club, but I’m a little nervous. What if I’m not good enough? I haven’t been on a swing since I was 9.

Spotted on WhatsApp:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Making waves on Messenger:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Stop hating yourself for everything. Be specific.

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