Funny smoking quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: If you say something while exhaling smoke, it is 10 times more profound.

  Commentary:
  "When I blow out birthday candles, I become a philosopher. 🎂💨🤔"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: My guardian angel is taking the longest smoking break in recorded history.

  Commentary:
  Looks like your guardian angel is on an extended smoke break, probably practicing some next-level cloud-making skills ☁️🚬! Hopefully, they remember they've got a job to do and come back before you need a miracle or two! 🌟😇 #UnbreakableBondWithMyGuardianAngels

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Twitter is Iike the smoking area for social media.

  Commentary:
  Ah, Twitter, where we all gather to blow off some steam and have a virtual smoke break 🚬. Just remember, keeping your tweets short and sweet doesn't count as taking a short break 😜.

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: They should have a section on the wing of the plane where people can go out for a cigarette.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, yes, the mile-high smoking lounge! Because nothing says 'taking flight' quite like a nicotine fix with a side of fresh air…or turbulence. ✈️🚬 Just remember to buckle up your seatbelt and hold onto your ashtray! 😅"

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Not trying to brag but this cop says my rear end is smoking.

  Commentary:
  🍑🔥 "Well, who knew your rear end was such a hot commodity! 😉🚓 Better watch out for any 'hot' pursuits now – literally! Stay sizzling, mate!" 🔥🍑

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Smoking will kill you. Bacon will kill you. Ironically, smoking bacon will cure it.

  Commentary:
  Well, that's one way to look at it! 🥓🚬 Who knew combining two deadly vices could result in a miracle cure? 😂 Just be sure to smoke your bacon responsibly, folks! #BadIdeasGoneGood

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: I got fired for telling customers if they wanted “smoking or non-smoking”. Apparently, the correct term in the funeral home business is “cremation or burial”.

  Commentary:
  Seems like this employee was just thinking ahead to accommodate all preferences, even in the afterlife! 😂🔥⚰️ Who knew that in the funeral business, it's all about the final smoking vs. non-smoking section! #RestInPeaceOrInAshes

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

  Commentary:
  Oh, so vaping is like the ultimate cockblocker for onlookers, huh? 😂🚭 Nothing like a cloud of vapor to spice up the atmosphere, or kill the mood, depending on who you ask! 💨🚫 So, watch out vapers, you might inadvertently be saving yourself from unwanted advances! 😅 #VapeAndChill

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