Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

12 people have been to the moon and only 8 people have won Takeshi’s Castle. Really makes you think.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When there’s food around, our cat is like an adorable, fluffy shark circling round.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has viewed:

Trying to carry a pet to bed is like moving a dense liquid that’s annoyed by you.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Money does not buy happiness, but it’s better to cry in a sports car than on a bicycle.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has copied:

All mushrooms are edible. Some only once.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has viewed:

Currently helping my nephew look for his M&M’s that I ate yesterday.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Someone from 🇱🇧 has viewed:

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

My toxic trait is thinking I can nap, then waking up 3 hours later in a parallel universe where I missed everything.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,646

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Making waves on Messenger:

If you are lonely, dim all lights and put on a horror movie. After a while it won’t feel like you are alone anymore.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I hope all of you get laid and not laid off this year. Amen.

Freshly posted on Slack:

But if I get tinted windows, how will people see me flipping them off?

Spreading quickly via WeChat:

Another day on this hamster wheel to nowhere.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Mr. Mixed Signals decided he likes me today.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I’m an adult in the same way a tomato is a fruit.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Mad that so many renaissance artists were named after ninja turtles.

Funny social distance quotes

Funny social distance quotes bring a much-needed laugh 😄 during these times of staying apart 🌍. Whether you’re dodging awkward hugs 🤗 or mastering the art of the six-foot shuffle 🚶‍♂️, these witty lines keep spirits high and remind us that humor is the best way to stay connected—even from a distance! 🦠✨ Get ready to chuckle and share the fun with friends near and far! 🎉📱

New funny social distance quotes 👇

All funny social distance quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

16 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

75 shares on YouTube this month:

Being gracefully insane is the only way to survive life’s daily bullshit.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

Every morning I wake up and make the worst possible time management decisions anyone has ever made.

79 shares on Pinterest this month:

Honk shuah. Sleep on that thang!

82 shares on TikTok this month:

To everyone who opens the fridge, stares, and closes it hoping new snacks will appear… You’re my people.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

A 12 step program but it’s just me getting off the couch.

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

TMZ will find out you’re dead before you do.

45 shares on Reddit this month:

My last straw is way longer than I thought.

91 shares on Messenger this month:

I took a test to see if I have multiple personalities. I scored 100%, 92% and 88%.

57 shares on Snapchat this month:

There are people that make their bed every morning and people who think it’s a waste of time, and then they marry each other.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish it were social acceptable to say “I don’t care” and walk away mid conversation when you’re bored.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Just remembered why I went upstairs yesterday.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Parenthood is so crazy. We’re really out here getting bullied by the people we made.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

69% of people find something dirty in every sentence.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

The best part about having a crush is when they crush all your hopes and dreams.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Quitting my job to focus on watching YouTube.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I was thinking of becoming self employed, but due to cutbacks, I can’t afford to hire me right now.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I told a joke during a Zoom meeting today. Nobody laughed. It turns out I’m not even remotely funny.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Babe, is everything OK? You’ve barely accomplished anything at all in your entire life.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Moving is legitimately one of the worst human experiences.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

94 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,363

Funny Quotes Topics

17,479

Funny Quotes Images

15,363

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,362

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I feel like I’ve skipped the whole ‘go out and have fun’ stage and went straight to being an 80-year-old woman.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I love jogging in this heat, cause the sweat hides my tears.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s okay to embarrass yourself a little in the pursuit of human connection.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has viewed:

People that never want to leave the house unite! Separately at our own homes.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

The government always waits until the last minute to prevent a shutdown, much like my approach to paying taxes.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has viewed:

I’m not a perfectionist. I’m more of a good-enoughist.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has viewed:

Let’s drink some whiskey and say too much.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has bookmarked:

I can’t work under these festive conditions.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Messenger:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

The gaps in my resume are from the space bar.

Freshly posted on X:

Unfortunately, you have to almost worship the ground I walk on for me to believe you’re into me.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Can I come over and crawl around on you like a bug?

Shared recently on WeChat:

Imagine hating me, and I’m just over here pumping gas until the dollar amount ends with 0.

Just landed via Slack:

Putting your wedding scrapbook in the little free library is an unprecedented level of divorced.

Spotted on Reddit:

I like to keep my wife guessing by walking around the backyard carrying a ladder and a chainsaw.

Just shared via YouTube:

As a kid, I didn’t understand the subtext of ‘I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus’ at all. I thought Mommy was cheating.

Spreading quickly via Snapchat:

You can reach me by butterfly.

Going viral on TikTok:

I got all my marriage skills from watching Al Bundy.

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