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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Trying to bribe Monday with coffee to get it to act like a Friday.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has bookmarked:

My advice to kids in kindergarten is to start saving all the money.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

If you would just let me help, you’d be in an even worse position than you are now.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

I took my kids to the zoo when they were small, I wonder how they are getting on now.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

HR is giving me a hard time because I’ve been starting all my work emails with “Dearly Beloved”.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has downloaded:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

If I had a boyfriend, I’d watch him dig a hole at the beach and be like, “Wowww, baby, good job. That’s a beautiful hole.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

For introverts, the worst kind of head-on collision is running directly into the person we’re avoiding at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

I really think tossing and turning at night should be counted as exercise.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Caveman bartender: “This one’s on the cave.”

Going viral on Reddit:

Skinning your knee as an adult is so humiliating. That’s the toddler injury.

Just shared via Discord:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’ve tasted being employed, and I’ve tasted being unemployed. I recommend not being born.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

I love sleeping in fishnets. Makes you feel like a big honey roast ham.

Seen just now on TikTok:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Seen just now on Messenger:

When someone yells stop I don’t know whether it’s in the name of love, it’s Hammer time, or I should smell the flowers.

Just shared via Threads:

Sorry for what I said when I was drunk. I meant every word.

Making waves on Facebook:

If I was a little smarter, I’d be aware of how stupid I am.

Just shared via Threads:

Twitter is the black sheep of the web, always in the corner, loudly arguing with itself.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2448 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,610

Funny Quotes Topics

15,283

Funny Quotes Images

12,610

Updated

16 minutes ago

Users Online

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Going from summer clothes to winter clothes: “Okay!” Going from winter clothes to summer clothes: “I AM NOT READY!”

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

A bathrobe is being naked with plausible deniability and pockets.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has downloaded:

Welcome to Netflix. We have everything but what you want to watch.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

You should be able to call in sad to work.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

I feel so bad when I overtake an old person on the sidewalk. Like, man, I really didn’t mean to flex on you with my youthful stride.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has bookmarked:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

The trash gets picked up tomorrow. Be ready.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

Someone in their late 20s giving advice to someone in their early 20s is exactly like when a toddler is obsessed with a newborn.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Threads:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Welcome to your 40s: here’s an extra chin.

Going viral on YouTube:

I think the real reason this generation is so angry is that their music sucks.

Making waves on WeChat:

Getting older is sexy. You moan more.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Sorry, I can’t today, I have to rot in bed and squander my potential.

Going viral on Telegram:

I see why history can repeat itself. People are really stupid.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I am like a wildflower, a quiet rebellion blooming through ruins and dust.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

When you say “You’re going to hate me for this,” you’re making a very large assumption that I don’t hate you already.

Making waves on Pinterest:

One of my biggest talents is taking hundreds of screenshots that I swear I’ll need, but I never look at them again.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Becoming a dad turned me into an environmentalist. All I do now is turn off lights and yell at people who waste energy.

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