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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇹 has downloaded:

When the client says: “make it pop”, I have to ask myself whether he means my mind or the project.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has viewed:

Can anyone recommend some good places for somebody just getting into visiting?

Someone from 🇷🇼 has copied:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

My dad wasn’t absent or present; he was a secret third thing.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

Hate when other parents at school drop off act like they’re better than me just because they remembered to bring all of their children.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has shared:

There are always new uncomplimentary angles to view yourself from. Keep contorting!

Someone from 🇩🇴 has bookmarked:

December, give me a sweet ending for this year please.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Not feeling fergalicious today, actually feeling pretty fergusting right now.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

The problem with people starts when we expect things from them, or have anything to do with them.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Just shared via Snapchat:

I’ve been heading in the wrong direction for most of my life, but since the earth is round, I’m just going to stick with it and see it through.

Seen just now on Slack:

Now I know why my dad used to wake up at 4AM and just sit at the kitchen table for an hour.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Just shared via Reddit:

Arkansas is just Kansas for pirates.

Seen just now on Threads:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Whoever coined the term coined the term coined the term coined the term.

Breaking via YouTube:

I miss when there were so many episodes of every show that they all eventually did one where it was hot, and the air conditioning went out.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

824 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,986

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,986

Updated

5 minutes ago

Users Online

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇺 has bookmarked:

If you ask him what he admires most about a woman and he says brains, you’ve got yourself a zombie.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Adulthood means trying to convince yourself that the font is just too small and that it isn’t your eyesight going bad.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

There are two types of people: those who are clueless about their kids’ schedules and the other who plan it down to the minute. And they end up marrying each other.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has shared:

Opening up is like talking to a cop: anything you say can and will be used against you.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

I’m not athletic, but I’m good at jumping to conclusions.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

Welcome to adulthood: you’re not dying, it’s just Thursday.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

British people be like “It’s Chewsday, innit?”

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Dear Santa, Money!

Someone from 🇻🇪 has shared:

I’m not humiliating myself here for 3 likes. 10 maybe but not 3.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe the wolf from The Neverending Story still has nightmares about me, too.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via WeChat:

Not to brag, but I can put my socks on without sitting down.

Going viral on TikTok:

I’m officially at the age where I’m not upgrading my phone until it stops working.

Trending via Telegram:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Going viral on Facebook:

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

Going viral on Threads:

Incorrectly is the only word that, when spelled correctly, is still spelled incorrectly.

Trending via X:

My favorite pastime is looking for meaning where there is none.

Seen just now on Reddit:

I’m already sick of tomorrow.

Going viral on YouTube:

So apparently if they ask “do you trust me?”, replying with “well, I trust you to be you” is the incorrect response.

Seen just now on Facebook:

You realize you’re getting old when your body parts start fighting over which one hurts first.

Going viral on Facebook:

The most avoided species of shark is the Loan.

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