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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Nothing makes me more stabby than when my husband ignores me and starts talking to the dog.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Men have feelings too! Hunger, for example. Or thirst.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

Coffee, because I don’t have time for a manslaughter charge.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has copied:

I’ll never salute you, General Settings.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s like 10,000 yawns when all you need is a nap.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Remember: if nobody hates you, you’re not trying hard enough.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has downloaded:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

Zombies only eat brains, so you are safe.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has shared:

Humming & dancing while I plop my meds into my weekly pill counter like the happy little nutcase I am.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,010

Funny Quotes Topics

14,805

Funny Quotes Images

12,010

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,427

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

Traumatized people will navigate emergency situations with calm surety but then have an anxiety attack in a grocery store.

Making waves on X:

Never share a secret with a clock. Because time will tell.

Reported on TikTok:

Apparently “ew no” is not an acceptable way to tell my boss I don’t want more responsibility at work.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Always tell people different stories about yourself, so when they talk about you, they’ll argue.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

Why do these women want to date Pete Davidson, a funny movie star, and not me, a guy who is whining?

Freshly posted on Threads:

Sometimes I wish I had a speed bump between my brain and my mouth.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

What’s the opposite of FOMO? The feeling of knowing you made the right decision not going somewhere once you see or hear dispatches from it.

Just shared via TikTok:

Humanity doesn’t deserve a new year, look at the mess they made of the last one.

Reported on Slack:

Adulthood is just waking up tired one day, and then being tired forever after that.

Spreading quickly via X:

Imagine hating me and i’m just over here doing a much better job at hating myself than any of y’all could do.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1848 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,010

Funny Quotes Topics

14,805

Funny Quotes Images

12,010

Updated

1 minute ago

Users Online

3,434

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Naming my first daughter Piggleigh Wiggleigh.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has downloaded:

You can name literally any food or drink to the dentist and they’ll be like “ohhh, that’s actually so bad for your teeth. You should only eat water and toothpaste.”

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Doctors who give out lollipops really treat their patients.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

Stop checking up on your friends, and check up on me.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

The only reason to engage with a neighbor is if either of you is on fire.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has viewed:

My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

My dad once sneezed so hard that he set every clock back two hours.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has viewed:

Being excited to get in bed is a different level of adulting.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has copied:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

The winter months remind me that it is crucial to find someone that you’re thermostatically compatible with.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

They expect me to work at work.

Reported on WeChat:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, begging for my cat’s attention.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Wow, another wooden ball. Would it kill avocado makers to put a different toy in there?

Making waves on Instagram:

There are more bots on here than in Star Wars.

Spotted on TikTok:

I wonder how many people think, “What the hell?” after talking to me.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

That moment when you clean the apartment and a year later everything is dirty again.

Spotted on Instagram:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Just shared via X:

When I say someone is a good doctor, it’s entirely based on the strength of their waiting room Wi-Fi.

Making waves on Telegram:

Stupidity begins where irony is no longer understood.

Shared recently on YouTube:

They should name a personality disorder after me.

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