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10,000+ funny quotes

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Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Managers want a week of silence and meditation in order to be even more of a manager afterwards.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has copied:

Me, in heaven: Can you take a photo of me sitting on that cloud?

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

The only narcissist I allow in my life is my cat.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

I have no use for mean people. I’ll walk right past you like you’re furniture.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has downloaded:

It’s not the destination that matters. It’s the snacks you eat on the way.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

There aren’t enough rap songs about cutting coupons.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has shared:

Perfume is designed to be an invisible accessory. It’s not designed to instantly kill the canary when you entered the room.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has downloaded:

Every year, just in time for Christmas, when it’s freezing cold, the Coca Cola truck shows up. Now, in this freaking heat, it’s nowhere to be seen.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I am stoned and laying in bed reading, and the idea of Santa going on Ozempic popped into my head, and I whispered, “No!”

Someone from 🇵🇪 has shared:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 19, 2026

Users Online

3,433

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

Better to be a wolf that everyone hates, than a donkey that everyone rides.

Just landed via Threads:

Before they perfected the Q-tip, you have to wonder what kinds of horrific things went wrong with tips A-P.

Trending via Discord:

Just a few more hours of scrolling, and then I will finally know.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

TV lead me to believe grave digging would be a lot easier.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Seen just now on Facebook:

Please don’t tell me how bad your life was growing up; we had to manually roll up our cars’ windows.

Freshly posted on Slack:

A couple of birds are outside fighting. Wait. They’ve quieted down. There’s a third bird. I think he may be their therapist.

Seen just now on Telegram:

I have more trips planned than I have money.

Just shared via Facebook:

Finally it’s Friday and I can go out. I’m putting the garbage out and I’ll be right back.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

He’s a 10, but it’s the pain scale.

Funny statistically significant quotes

New funny statistically significant quotes 👇

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

3 months ago

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All funny statistically significant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

72 shares on Twitch this month:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

72 shares on Telegram this month:

Showing up late with an iced coffee is not about poor time management, it’s about knowing how to make an entrance.

96 shares on Discord this month:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

81 shares on TikTok this month:

“It’s swimsuit season” I say, eating another swimsuit.

55 shares on Twitch this month:

Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

68 shares on YouTube this month:

Spent most of the day making sure my couch still works. So far so good.

92 shares on Threads this month:

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

36 shares on Threads this month:

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

76 shares on YouTube this month:

I may forget what I opened the fridge for but I remember every time anyone has ever wronged me.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Asking Santa Claus for nudes.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has copied:

Instead of cleaning my house, I just watch episodes of hoarders on TV and then I think “Wow, my house looks awesome!”

Someone from 🇩🇲 has shared:

You unfollow me because you are afraid of falling in love with me. I know!

Someone from 🇸🇬 has downloaded:

Wow, this was a really long day of playing on my phone.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

That awkward moment when someone gets angry at you for clicking a pen, but you have to click it one more time to use it.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has downloaded:

I hate it when I turn on the car in the morning and the music starts blasting… It’s like, woah, I’m not the same person I was last night.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has viewed:

I think during winter we should also get to work less hours in a day, just like the sun.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

Apparently, when you treat people like they treat you, they get upset.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I’m just going to be hotter. It’s easier than being nicer.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

One of my biggest fears during a zombie apocalypse is having to sleep without a fan.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has shared:

Never eat more than you can lift.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

That awkward moment, when all eyes are on the bride, but your son is the groom.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

I will sit in the rain about this.

Breaking via Messenger:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

Going viral on Facebook:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Going bananas on Slack:

I want to be a house cat and simply slap the shit out of anything in front of me that I do not understand.

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m bad at being sad. Three minutes in, and I’m already making fun of my situation.

Spotted on YouTube:

My phone just filmed a 2 hour documentary about life inside my purse.

Breaking via Pinterest:

If you ever think you can solve a parenting problem by doing the opposite of what didn’t work last time, the universe will just be like “Lol, nice try, dummy!”

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

ChatGPT, what do you do when you find out your boyfriend’s been using ChatGPT to write you messages?

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Activity Log ✨

Funny statistically significant quotes

New funny statistically significant quotes 👇

If at first you don’t succeed, try two more times so your failure is statistically significant.

All funny statistically significant quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨