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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

When you think about it, Jesus really accomplished a lot in the four months between Christmas and Easter.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Food gives you energy to nap more.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has copied:

Why do people always assume it’s a compliment when I tell them their baby looks just like them?

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

You sound smart. You some kinda ‘ologist?

Someone from 🇳🇪 has viewed:

You are my favorite dirty thought.

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

It’s important to get out of the house every once and a while to remind yourself of why you don’t go out.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has downloaded:

I hope you celebrate your birthday like your birth – naked and screaming.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has shared:

Dating apps? No thanks, if I wanted to talk to someone for hours and accomplish nothing, I’d contact tech support.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

43 minutes ago

3,447

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I’m not alone. I have ants.

Trending via Slack:

Let’s all stand up against iron deficiency (but not too fast).

Reported on Facebook:

I once broke up with a guy because he ate half my french fries, and when I get really lonely, I still think about those french fries.

Going viral on Instagram:

Only mosquitoes find me attractive. Nobody else.

Shared recently on Threads:

Y’all smell that? A beautiful day that the Lord has made.

Seen just now on Messenger:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Instead of renting an apartment, I’m going to save up for a lighthouse and go insane in it.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Anything is an appetizer if you eat more food after.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Alligators can live up to 100 years which is why there is an increased chance that they will see you later.

Seen just now on Slack:

Gollum is like, “Actually, this is my emotional support precious.”

Home » Funny Status Quotes » Page 2

15 Funny status quotes

More funny status quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: Relationship status: We have changed from “I love you” to “I love YouTube”.

Commentary:
"Looks like love has evolved from heart emojis to YouTube views 📺❤️ Who needs romance when you've got cat videos and DIY tutorials, right? 😂💔 #modernlove"
6 months ago
Share →: Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Commentary:
"Feeling like the middle child of social media 🤷‍♂️ Stranded in the land of WhatsApp status, where our posts quietly whisper 'I'm here too, guys!' 😅 Maybe we're just too cool for the other platforms? 😎 #WhatsAppWarrior"
6 months ago
Share →: Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer.

Commentary:
Relationship status: you’d think something called a Roomba would be a better dancer 💃🕺 Sounds like this Roomba needs to upgrade its moves from cleaning floors to tearing up the dance floor! 💫
6 months ago
Share →: This chapter of my life is called ‘at least the rent is paid’

Commentary:
"When life hands you bills, just rename them as achievements. 💸💪 #AdultingAtItsFinest"
6 months ago
Share →: Biggest flex is when your friend’s mom uses you as a good example.

Commentary:
"Feeling like the true MVP when your friend's mom holds you up as the shining beacon of responsibility and success 💪🏼🌟 Just call me the model citizen, setting the bar high for all the other mere mortals out there! 😂 #FlexedToTheMax"

For even more funny status quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny status quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

800 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,962

Funny Quotes Topics

13,930

Funny Quotes Images

10,962

43 minutes ago

3,433

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Just so you know, it’s almost impossible to drink coffee while laying down.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Adulthood is saying “but after this week things will slow down a bit” over and over until you die.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

I’ll marry your mom just so I can ground you.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Remember it’s Christmas. You need to check your elf before you wreck your shelf.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

When people say, “Stop living in the past,” my thought in turn is, “But the music was so much better then!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

This gingerbread house isn’t even close to fire safety codes.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

If my son ever came out as gay, I’d be so furious. Furious that he never gave me fashion advice.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

I drive home so quick after work like I’m late for the house.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has shared:

Dogs can’t talk and everyone loves them. Coincidence? I think not.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Threads:

If you tell me to watch until the end, the end better be in five seconds.

Just landed via Messenger:

The sexiest woman you know is trying to maintain her balance between insanity and genius.

Trending via Pinterest:

My outfit is from Gucci and the body from Ferrero.

Spotted on Threads:

You know you’re an introvert when you want to go home before even leaving the house.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I don’t need a midlife crisis. My whole life is a crisis.

Just shared via Telegram:

My mom asked me where I’m taking her to eat on Mother’s Day. I told her we have food at home.

Trending via Slack:

I don’t always leave the house, but when I do, I shouldn’t.

Going viral on Twitch:

I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.

Just landed via Twitch:

I modeled my morning routine on the humble rooster. Wake up, scream, wander around.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

Liquor on the top shelf is so expensive because the bartender has to stand on their tippy toes to reach it.

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