239 Funny still quotes — Wordgag ツ

I’m at an age where I don’t have to go anywhere and I still have jet lag.

10 minutes ago10 minutes ago

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but your clothes are still in the washing machine.

3 days ago3 days ago

You can’t convince me that 2020 didn’t open a portal to hell that we’re still living in.

1 week ago1 week ago

Still hard to believe that access to infinite information made us dumber.

1 week ago1 week ago

Still waiting for aliens to abduct me, which feels pretty rude considering I’ve been dressed and ready for years.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

My toxic trait is thinking I deserve a vacation… while still on vacation.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

It’s actually crazy we figured out how to grow real diamonds that are cheaper and better quality than the real thing, and so many people are still like, no thanks, the suffering is what makes it special.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

Even at my most powerful, I’m still a little sleepy.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Follow your dreams – ideally in a field that will still require humans when you graduate.

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Men can stay up til 2 a.m., wake up at 6, be in debt, broke, alone, and still have faith that one day, everything will work out. It’s called being a man.

1 month ago1 month ago

Men be like “I hate drama,” and then have love triangles, secret babies, a wife, side chick, ex that’s still around, breadcrumbs, and unhealed trauma.

1 month ago1 month ago

They said, “Enjoy your money because life is short.” Now my money is finished, but I’m still alive.

1 month ago1 month ago

How late is too late to still be lying in bed, naked, drinking coffee?

1 month ago1 month ago

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

1 month ago1 month ago

Nothing like a meteor shower to remind you that burning out can still be breathtaking.

1 month ago1 month ago

Bob Ross could paint a forest in 10 minutes. I’ve been ‘working on myself’ for years, and I’m still unfinished.

1 month ago1 month ago

Made my last mortgage payment. Yay! I still owe a lot, I’m just not paying anymore.

2 months ago2 months ago

It’s so unfair that saying “xd” is still socially acceptable, but only if you’re speaking Spanish.

2 months ago2 months ago

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

2 months ago2 months ago

I think my phone is broken. I pressed the home button, but I’m still at work.

2 months ago2 months ago