204 Funny surprise quotes

• Opened two gifts this morning, and they were my eyes.

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  2 days ago

  eyes, gift, gifts, humor, morning, surprise

• I still can’t believe they named a company GoDaddy.

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  1 week ago

  believe, brand, business, company, company name, GoDaddy, humor, i, name, still, surprise

• It would be cool if, after you died, you could see the top 5 times you almost died.

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  2 weeks ago

  5, after, afterlife, almost, cool, death, died, event, experience, humor, life, life event, near-death, near-death experience, reflection, surprise, times, top

• Like an advent calendar, you make me want to open up more every day.

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  2 weeks ago

  advent, advent calendar, affection, calendar, daily, day, every, humor, me, metaphor, open, open up, relationship, surprise, want

• Have you ever pretended not to look at the biscuits or sweets being handed around the room, and acted surprised when you got offered one?

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  3 weeks ago

  around, being, biscuits, eating, ever, food, got, handed, humor, pretend, room, situation, snack, social, social situation, surprise, sweet, sweets, temptation

• My wife just pulled me into the other room, and I thought she wanted to have a serious talk, but she just wanted to give me M&M’s without the kids seeing.

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  3 weeks ago

  give, humor, i, just, kid, kids, M&M, marriage, me, room, secret, seeing, serious, snack, surprise, talk, thought, wanted, wife

• I don’t have an advent calendar, so I’m just opening cupboard doors and eating what’s in there.

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  3 weeks ago

  advent, advent calendar, calendar, cupboard, cupboard door, door, doors, eating, food, holiday, humor, i, just, opening, snack, surprise

• I forgot to sweep up some crumbs earlier, and I just heard an ant moaning in pleasure as he discovered the bounty.

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  4 weeks ago

  ant, cleaning, crumb, crumbs, discovery, earlier, forgot, humor, i, just, kitchen, moaning, pest, pleasure, surprise, sweep

• “I’m basically the human version of finding $20 in old jeans.”

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  4 weeks ago

  20, finding, human, humor, jeans, luck, money, old, surprise, version

• The best part of having a failing memory is that you can wrap up presents for yourself, and when it comes time to open them, you are honestly surprised.

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  4 weeks ago

  best, failing, forgetfulness, gift, having, humor, memory, open, present, presents, self-gift, surprise, time, wrap, yourself

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